Right as the first bell rings, Mel and Trina join us. It's a reminder of one reason I stick around: Mel is hot. A little less so because she's hot and she knows it, but not enough to take away the fact that she's gorgeous. I'm pretty sure it's a California State law that everything has to look good on Mel. Her red hair is long and straight just like her legs and unlike the short skirt she's wearing.
"Hey, baby," she says, taking my mouth. I let the kiss linger, sucking the strawberry gloss off her lips.
"Hey." I'm not sure if she even hears me because she's already saying something to Trina. Like a basketball, Trina passes back to me, Mel's attention shifts again.
"Carter, your hair is messy and your jeans are all wrinkled. You look like you just rolled out of bed." She grabs for my hair, probably planning to try and flatten it, but I kind of jerk my head away before she can touch it.
"Rawr. I just wanted to help."
Ugh. I hate that. If you aren't a pissed-off cat, you shouldn't make noises like one. "Sorry. Didn't sleep well. Got up early." I shrug.
The halls are starting to clear out by now. We all have the same first period, so we start down the hall together. I make myself hang toward the back.
"Come on, baby. We're gonna be late," Melanie says.
"Yeah, baby. Hurry your ass up," Travis teases.
I flip him off. "Go ahead. I gotta check on something."
A few seconds later, they're gone. That's how easy it is. I'm not sure if it's because I'm good at pretending everything's perfect or they don't pay attention, but it's never been hard to keep my secrets. Sucks to know the one thing I'm good at is lying. Well, lying and basketball.
When the halls are silent, I dig my cell out of my pocket and dial, that familiar punched-in-the-gut feeling teasing me.
"Delilah's Hideaway, this is Delilah speaking."
The internal knot loosens. All it takes is one word, the sound of her voice over the phone. One quick glance in person and I can tell if she's had a drink that day. So far, she's fine. If I hadn't been too chicken, I would have known that this morning, but I couldn't make myself stay home long enough to see her. "Hey, Ma. Just wanted to tell you I might be a little late this afternoon. Is that okay?"
Another lie. What I really should say is, I needed to make sure you weren't too hung over to leave the house, but that would be acknowledging the big, dark secret we pretend doesn't exist.
"Sure, kiddo. You don't even have to come in, if you don't want. I don't mind staying all day."
In other words, she feels guilty, which makes me feel guilty. It's not her fault. If her dad hadn't been such a jerk, or my dad hadn't died, or Sara didn't have problems, she wouldn't be so stressed. She wouldn't have to work so hard or need to get away in the only way she can.
"No, I don't mind." But then I think better of my answer. Being at work is better for her than being at home. She can't drink at the store. No one knows how she gets. What she does. Our secrets belong to me and the walls of our house. It’s the only place she ever drinks. "Unless..." Like most of the time, I don't know which way to go. What's the right thing to do? Everything in my life is different shades of gray, so for now, I wing it. "I'll call you later and let you know, k?"
"Okay." Pause. "I love you, Carter."
"I love you too, Ma." And I do. There is no doubt in her words, either. Does it make it harder or easier? I don't know.
I hang up my phone and run to class.
The morning crawls by like only a day in school can. By lunch time, I'm already dragging, my eyes burning because I stayed up way too late last night. I'm a sleeper. Nothing better than letting the world go black for hours on end, but when my mind is racing, my blood rushing, it's impossible. When I have a bad night, there's a switch in my head that won't turn off. I hit the button, but it doesn't shut down, overflowing my head with all the crap I don't want to think about.
"Carter, why are you so quiet today?" Mel squeezes my leg. We're eating outside, which is the only place we eat when we stay at school. There are a ton of tables, but we always take the spot on the hill. Trina keeps a blanket in her locker so she and Mel don't get dirty and we always chill here.
"I told you, I'm tired." I rub my eyes.
"You sleep like the freaking dead. I don't know how you can be tired."
I shrug because there's no answer I can give her.
"You should come over today after school. My parents won't be home. We can take a nap, then maybe do some homework or something." She lays her head on my shoulder. This is the Mel I like. The one who makes things easier instead of more work. It's not often she isn't pointing out all my flaws, or worrying about what everyone thinks. So when she goes through this little transformation, I savor it.
"Maybe. I might have to go to the store and help my mom." My fingers thread through her soft hair and I close my eyes. These are the moments I can be the Carter everyone sees. My problems are gone and I'm the guy with the hot girlfriend, good friends, and who is known as the basketball God. Right now, all I know, all I feel, is her softness.
"You're going to mess up my hair, baby." Mel ducks her head away and grabs my hand instead. "And that's why you're tired. School, working with your mom. What are you going to do when basketball practice starts tomorrow? Your mom shouldn't make you work. It's kind of selfish."
Spell broken.
Softness gone.
Walls up.
I toss a quick glance at Travis and Trina. Travis is trying to pretend he can't hear us, but Trina's eyes flick back and forth between the two of us. I don't care. "Not all of us are spoiled, Mel. Mom isn't trying to torture me. She needs my help."
"Why can't she hire someone else?"
"Why do you give a shit?" I feel like the Hulk again. All itchy and tight in my own skin. My mom-defenses rear up. She doesn't understand how hard it is for Mom—holding it all together and running her own store. Mel's mom has never had to work a day in her life. I mean, it's not like we're poor or anything, but we're also not loaded like Mel..
"Why do I care? I'm your girlfriend, Carter. I'm just looking out for you." She rolls her eyes.
In her own way, I kind of think she is. Still...I also know Mel looks out for herself more than anyone else and she doesn't want to be known as the girl with the boyfriend who's never around.
I stand up. "Whatever. Just don't bring her into it. She doesn't make me work. I do it because I want to."
Travis stands up, too. "All right, All right. Simmer down, you two." He pats me on the chest. "Shaw didn't get his beauty rest last night so he's a grump. Mel, kiss him and make it better or something. You guys are seriously screwing with my chill right now."
As soon as he finishes, the bell rings. Mel rises to her feet, Trina right behind her, before saying, "Whatever," and walking away.
"Uuuugh. Thanks, bro. Now I'm going to have to hear it from Trina, too. Don't you know if Mel is mad at you, Trina is mad at me by default? This is what happens when I have your back. Now I'm going to have to kiss T and make it better...oh, wait. Why am I complaining? Makin' up is fun."
Travis laughs, making me laugh too. "You're such a douche," I tell him.