I made my way down the hallway toward my decent-sized master bedroom, then stripped off the yoga pants and tank top I had put on when I got home from work earlier. June had come and gone too quickly for my liking. It was now the middle of July and I was seventeen weeks pregnant. It seemed as if my stomach had grown overnight. What was just a small bump last week was now more pronounced. My small and slender frame made it even more noticeable, and I knew I couldn’t cover it up much longer.
Turning on the shower, I allowed the hot water to wash over me, cleansing me of everything as I tried to clear my mind. All the books I’d been reading told me to maintain a low stress level so my baby didn’t become stressed. I couldn’t help but think he or she had nothing to be stressed about…no paying bills, running a restaurant, or finding the father of the kid growing inside you. Brayden was right. Tyler needed to know. I just worried he would want to be a part of my baby’s life, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that because that would make him part of my life. I was certain I didn’t want that. That was what I tried to convince myself anyway.
After an invigorating shower, I headed toward my closet and picked out a long maxi dress that was tight around my chest, then flowed to my ankles. It was comfortable and hid my stomach. I towel dried my hair and placed a touch of gel in it to tame the waves. Putting a bit of powder on my dark complexion, I then added a hint of blush and some dark eyeliner, giving my hazel eyes a dramatic feel. After applying some pink gloss to my lips, I stepped back and surveyed my five-foot, four-inch frame, satisfied I didn’t look how I felt…
Shattered.
Broken.
Lost.
Putting on a smile that masked my true feelings, I rushed down the hallway and was met by a chubby gray cat meowing at me. “Ready for dinner, your majesty?” I asked Meatball. He rubbed against my leg, purring in appreciation. “Okay. Let’s get you fed.”
I bent down, grabbed his bag of kibble from the cabinet, and poured it in his bowl. Giving him a quick scratch on his tail as he ate, I made my way from the condo, taking the elevator down twelve floors to the lobby.
“Hey, Mackenzie!” Paul, the security guard, said when he saw me emerge. He was in his late fifties or early sixties, and had distinguished gray hair and brilliant blue eyes. He had been retired from the police department for ten years, but he still kept in decent shape, apart from the occasional cheeseburger. He was like a father to me, probably more so than my real dad, who I only got to see once a month at a pre-arranged time and couldn’t even tell anyone he was still alive. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay, I suppose. Tired.”
He nodded. “I remember those days. Poor Angie was exhausted through all three of her pregnancies.”
I groaned. “Don’t tell me that. I’m sleeping more than I have in my life, but it’s still not enough. I constantly wake up exhausted. Having to give up caffeine hasn’t really helped, either.”
“You work too hard, sweetie. I see the hours you keep at that restaurant. At some point, you need to start taking better care of yourself.”
“I will. I promise.” I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his temple.
“Good. You better get a move on. I’m sure Brayden and Jenna are waiting.”
I glanced down at my wrist and checked my watch. “Shit!” I exclaimed when I saw it was quarter after six, bolting from Paul. I was usually the one waiting on them, not the other way around.
“Drive carefully!” Paul yelled.
“I will!” I responded as I dashed out the doors and into the parking lot of the condo building I lived in on the north end of South Padre Island.
The sun was still shining brightly as I took quick steps toward my car. Clicking on the key fob to unlock the door, I was startled by the sound of glass breaking and I swung my head toward the front gate. A chill washed over me when my eyes settled on a dark sedan idling on the street, the driver wearing darkened sunglasses. His expression remained fixed, never looking at me…or anything else, for that matter.
Part of me had hoped the glass breaking was Charlie making an appearance, but he was too smart to do anything that would draw attention to himself. Nearly four months ago, he had disappeared from my life when his photo was splashed all over the news as the only suspect in a rash of murders spanning close to a decade. Murders he claimed he had nothing to do with. I didn’t know what to think, although I secretly wanted to believe him. But months had gone by with no communication at all. Not even a phone call on our secret spy line, which was what I named the cell phone he left me the night he disappeared. I worried the worst had happened, that he was silenced forever, leaving me more confused than ever about whether I was simply naïve to want to believe him, given our past, or whether Charlie was another pawn in the bigger picture.
Sighing, I got in behind the wheel of my Mercedes convertible. I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to think about how I was going to afford a bigger car. I certainly couldn’t put a baby seat in the back seat of my two-door coupe.
I pulled out onto the main road and, within minutes, arrived at the wine and tapas bar Brayden, Jenna, and I had been going to for our Friday girls’ night for the past several years.
I threw the valet my keys, then strode into the restaurant and toward the bar, Jenna and Brayden sitting at the counter.
“There she is!” Brayden exclaimed, spinning on his barstool and facing me. “Come on, Mack. I saved you a seat.” He winked.
I glanced around the empty bar, rolling my eyes. “Yeah. Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t save me that seat.” I sat down beside him and smiled at Jenna, who was sitting on the other side of him. It was a popular place, but mostly for dinner. The dining room was packed with locals, businessmen, and tourists, but the small little bar remained relatively vacant.
I hung my purse on the hook underneath the counter and my eyes darted to the opposite end of the bar where a mystery man sat one night months ago. His stool was empty, which was exactly how I felt. I had been pretending I was over him and all the lies he told, but I wasn’t. I had hoped if I kept saying I was over him, I had moved past him, I didn’t need him, I didn’t love him, it would be okay.
I needed it to be okay.
“Hey.” Jenna broke into my thoughts and I snapped my head in her direction, meeting her small blue eyes. A gentle smile crossed her face, her pale skin taking on a pinkish hue from spending some time in the sun. “Stop thinking about him. He’s not worth it. He could have at least called or something.”
Biting my lip, I nodded and struggled to mask my real feelings from my friends, wishing I could convince myself they were right. “I’m fine, guys. I swear. For all I care, he can drop off the face of the earth, which he pretty much did.”
“What can I get you?” the bartender interrupted, leaning on the counter. “The usual? Cranberry juice with tonic and a piece of lime?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
I sat forward and avoided both Brayden’s and Jenna’s eyes, knowing they would ask me the same question they asked every Friday. Smiling in appreciation when the short blonde bartender placed my new cocktail of choice in front of me, I took a long drink, missing being able to enjoy a glass of wine.
“So…,” Brayden started, his voice cautious.
Exhaling in annoyance, I refused to face them. “Yes, I called again, like I do every Thursday, more so out of obligation than an actual desire to speak with the prick. His phone was still disconnected, and I got the same speech from the same receptionist at his company. That Tyler has no role in the security company.”
“How are you doing with all of this?” Jenna asked.
I shrugged. “No better than yesterday, and I’m sure tomorrow will be the same. I’ll wake up and go to the gym, spending the entire time worrying about how the hell I’m going to do this on my own. I see parents struggling to raise a baby all the time. The constant diaper changes. The midnight feedings. They’re exhausted, but they have each other to lean on for help. I don’t have that.”