By Jillian Dodd
Copyright © 2011 by Jillian Dodd
All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design and Book Illustrations by Jillian Dodd
To my bandit, my angel, and my very own prince charming, your support means the world to me.
“Do any human beings ever realize life, while they live it - every, every minute?”
Elizabeth, Our Town
Table of Contents
1. You Arrogant Son of a Bitch
2. Phillip and JJ, Sitting in a Tree
3. Devil Danny
4. Spin the Bottle
5. I Could Do It Any Old Time
6. Academical Purposes
7. We Love You Anyway
8. Somebody Wanna Call A Shrink?
9. Strip Football
10. Trifecta, Baby
11. Stringy Bikini
12. Summer Bash
13. I’m Coming Back For Your Pants
14. Keg In A Cornfield
15. I’ve Had About Enough Of Jerk Boys
16. Game Face In Place
17. Point My Toes Upward
18. Get Me Drunk And Take Advantage Of Me
19. Jay, We Need To Talk
20. It’s All Greek To Me
21. Big Changes
22. Physical Contact
23. Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend
24. Operation Engagement
25. Was It Worth The Wait?
26. Wanna Play Spin The Bottle?
27. Think About This
28. The Sand Is Rough Between My Toes
29. Well, We Kissed
30. I’m Never Drinking Again!
31. A Perfectly Mindless Fling
32. Cooking With Mr. Perfect
33. Chicken Shittedness
34. Stuck In The Freezer
35. Do Something
36. Who Cares What Day It Is!
37. Did You Say You Were Still In Bed?
38. I’m Pregnant!
39. Heart, Phillip
40. Chicken Shit Has Flown The Coop
41. Pampered Spa Princess
42. Scavenger Hunt Extravaganza
43. Where the *&%# Is That Boy?
About The Author
“You arrogant son of a bitch,” I say.
Well, maybe I growl it. It's hard to say for certain. But I can tell you this. I am fuming, smoke flying out of my ears, mad as I take the engagement ring off my finger, shove it into his hand and march toward the stage. The march to the stage feels like it takes forever because there are a million thoughts running through my mind.
Did all these people come here because they really thought I'd say yes?
Or did they come for the fireworks of me saying no?
Do they wish us well?
Or hope to see us fail?
I reach the stage and tentatively walk out on it. One of the band members hands me a microphone, and I know I really need to say something to all these people.
I may die of embarrassment.
Actually, I wish it were possible to die of embarrassment, then I could drop dead right now, and I wouldn't have to do what I am about to do.
Part of me wonders how in the world I got here to begin with. We have been friends for a really long time and, all of a week ago, decided to have a real relationship.
And well, it has been really incredible.
I mean, he is incredible in ways I hadn't even imagined!
Okay, so I might have imagined a little.
Anyway, as of about 6 minutes ago, we were out on a romantic first date.
Then he had to go and blow the whole thing all to hell by asking me to marry him.
Can you believe that?
And if it isn't unbelievable enough that he asked me to marry him
on our first date, he was so damned sure
I'd say yes, he planned this huge, surprise engagement party.
Tonight. On our first date. Like, right now!
I shudder and mentally prepare myself for what I am about to do.
I have to tell everyone who came here tonight that there is NO WAY I'm going to marry that boy!
Before I say the words, I glance at him, and my mind is transported back to the memory of my first kiss.
It's where this all began, really.
Phillip was the first boy to ever kiss me. We were swinging sideways on the swings out behind school, when out of the blue, he reached over, grabbed my swing, and kissed me right on the lips. Then he jumped off his swing and ran home. It was one of those perfect sunny afternoons, when school was almost out for the summer. I thought it was the best day of my life.
I was in love.
Phillip must have told someone what he did because today at school everyone was singing.
Phillip and JJ sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G…
I can't take it.
I'm being tortured.
Today is the worstest day of my life!
It is such a let down because yesterday was a GREAT day. I got my first kiss from a boy!
I know it was just Phillip, but still, I was very surprised.
And I was so excited to come to school today, until I got here, and everyone started torturing me with those stupid, stupid songs. Even my friend, Lisa, is singing them.
And very quickly, I went from loving that boy to hating him. At least that's what I had to tell all my friends, so they would stop singing those ridiculous songs.
Phillip must have started a trend because later that day, Joey kissed Katie and everyone forgot about Phillip and me.
They had someone new to torture endlessly.
I noticed that Phillip didn't tease Joey and Katie.
Neither did I.
Phillip Mackenzie lives across the street from me. We have been friends forever.
I mean it. Since birth.
Our dads are fraternity brothers and best friends. Phillip is five months older than me, and our parents think it is just hilarious to show embarrassing photos of us together as babies.