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Killer Abs + Devil grin + Easy going, aw shucks attitude + Sparkle + Great arms + Amazing kisser + Star Quarterback + Dreamy blue eyes = Irresistible .

He is so cute.

“Jayyyyy,” Danny says, interrupting my thoughts. “Hello?? Pay attention. We are talking about one night stands.”

Shit. I can't tell them about Lisa. So I, uh, make up something.

“Oh, uh, well, maybe not one night stands, actually. I mean sometimes there is sex involved, but usually it's just that maybe there is an older guy they crush on, and he pays attention to her at a party and offers to take her home, but of course they end up parking, and she just does more with him than she planned, and then he never calls. Or even worse, he's a total gentleman, and they just talk and kiss, and she thinks he's the ONE, and then he never calls. All I am trying to say is that when I go out with them, we can't just sit peacefully on the hood of a car, staring at the sky and enjoying life. They are always stressing and obsessing about something. They dissect every conversation, every stare, every word.”

“You're a girl, and you're not like that.” Phillip tells me. “Maybe you need some new friends.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I think that they're probably normal, and that I'm just weird.”

“Yeah, well we know that,” Danny teases and then pelts me in the face with a wet, just from his mouth, sunflower seed, “but we love ya anyway, Jay.”

What a game!

What a close, exciting, exhilarating game!

Danny was amazing!

We were behind by a touchdown at half time, but ended up winning by 6! And Danny won the game practically single handedly! There were only two minutes left in the game when Coach called a quarterback sneak. Danny ran through the line, broke the huge linebacker's tackle and went running 40 yards down the field. He was dodging tackles, dragging guys behind him and twisting out of their arms. It was an amazing run, and we all thought he was going to score, until we saw the safety, barreling sideways across the field and ready to hit him at the 5-yard line. Danny was not to be stopped though. He put his left arm out and his shoulder down and ran right over the guy and into the end zone.

Touchdown!

It was brilliant, really, and pure Danny. Sometimes I wonder if he's not challenged enough because when he really wants something, it's like this light clicks on, and Wonder Boy comes out, and he goes into Can't Be Stopped mode. In this mode, I have seen him make amazing plays. He's a very talented quarterback, and that would be a great play to put on his scout tape. Every college in the country would want him.

Okay, so I might be a bit biased, but a lot of colleges already do. Notre Dame, Nebraska, USC, Ohio State, and Oklahoma. He verbally committed to play at Nebraska, but still has a couple more recruiting visits to make. I don't think he'll change his mind though. He's wanted to be a Husker since he was a little boy.

After the game, Danny, Phillip, and I come home early, as in way before curfew, to sit in the hot tub at my house. The boys stopped off at their houses to throw on their swimsuits. As I'm walking over to my house from Phillip's, I realize there is noise coming from my back yard.

It's music. 80's hair band ballads, I think.

Tragic.

Then I hear a man and a woman's laughter.

I stop.

Oh.

I see that it's dark in the backyard, and I know my parents probably aren't expecting me home this early. I mean, it is a full hour and 38 minutes before my curfew, and I am NEVER early. I probably shouldn't just barge in on them. I wouldn't want them to barge

in on me, but of course they would. And I am adult enough to understand that parents, you know, but it is just something I refuse to think about.

I mean, yuck.

Gross.

I reconsider going back there. I certainly don't want to barge in on them and see something that could very well scar me for life. As I get a little closer, I realize that there are numerous voices laughing.

Whew, they're not alone. I'll just kick them all out of the back yard, so we can use the hot tub.

It's late, they're old, and it's like so way past their bedtime.

Okay, so it's not that late, and they're not that old.

I decide it's safe to go through the gate and am just opening it, when I catch a whiff of something. At first, I wonder if they have a fire going, but then I notice it has a sweet smell to it, like burning hay.

NO WAY!

What I see when I bound through the gate is almost too freakish to describe. Our parents are all in our hot tub.

Naked.

There are empty Corona bottles scattered all over the edge of the hot tub.

Glass bottles, I might add.

GLASS!!

How many millions of times have I been told to never have glass by the hot tub because if a glass broke in the tub, you could never get it all out, and the whole thing would be ruined!

Obviously, these rules don't apply to our parents.

Then I notice that Phillip's Dad, Mr. Mac, is taking a hit off a joint.

Ah. There it is.

They are all laughing at something and are apparently already half-baked. I'm practically standing in the water with them, and they still have not acknowledged my presence.

Hello?

Naked parents.

Pot.

Alcohol.

I may very well be traumatized by all of this.

Somebody wanna call a shrink?

Just as I am about to say something, Mr. Diamond stands up to grab another beer.

Yikes.

I close my eyes real quick. There's no way I need to see this man naked. I don't want to see him naked. But I peek anyway, cuz come on, he looks like Danny - All Grown Up. I open my eyes and see him standing there in all his glory.

In a swimsuit.

DANG!

I look a little closer and realize they are not naked after all. I can see some stringy things tied around Mom's neck.

But still. Pot. They are so busted.

I jump onto the hot tub stairs and say, “So kids, this is what goes on when I'm not here. You are all so grounded.”

Mom chokes on her Corona. Phillip's dad nearly swallows the joint. Everyone else, my father included, is giggling. My father laughs often, yes, but NEVER giggles. They seem to think this is hysterical.

Okay, so I have to tell you, this is not exactly the picture I had in my mind of what my parents do to while away the time until I get home. I mean sometimes I picture them sitting in matching rocking chairs, rocking and pacing, checking their watches with worry, counting down the seconds till I'm home safely.

Lately though, I picture them as wild referees with stopwatches and big whistles.

Last Saturday, I was coming in the door very quietly, not sneaking in, mind you, but just trying to be polite and not disturb them, when it's like this huge prison spot light comes glaring on me, and Dad jumps out of nowhere. He blows a referee's whistle at me and a scoreboard buzzer goes off as he says, “Jadyn, you are twelve and half minutes late.”

“According to whom?” I ask politely. “My watch,” which I may have set back ten minutes or so, “says I'm right on time.”