THE NEW WOMANS BROKEN HEART
By A ndrea Dworkin
WOMAN HATING
OUR BLOOD: PROPHECIES AND DISCOURSES
ON SEXUAL POLITICS
THE NEW WOMANS BROKEN HEART
Short Stories
Andrea Dworkin
Frog In The Well
430 Oakdale Road
East Palo Alto, California 94303
1980
THE NEW WOMANS BROKEN HEART
Copyright © 1980 by Andrea Dworkin
Copyright © 1975, 1977, 1978, 1979 by Andrea Dworkin
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this
book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written
permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Elaine Markson Literary Agency, 44 Greenwich Avenue, New York, New York 10011.
“the simple story of a lesbian girlhood” was first published in
Christopher Street, Vol. 2 No. 5, November 1977, in an earlier version
under the title “The Simple Story of a Lesbian Childhood. ”
Copyright ©
1977 by Andrea Dworkin.
“bertha schneiders existential edge” was first published in Bitches and
Sad Ladies,
edited by Pat Rotter, Harper’s Magazine Press, 1975.
Copyright © 1975 by Andrea Dworkin.
“the new womans broken heart” was first published in Heresies, Vol. 2
No. 3, Spring 1979. Copyright © 1978, 1979 by Andrea Dworkin.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance between the characters in this
book and real persons living or dead is coincidental.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN: 0-9603628-0-0
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 79-055919
Printed at Up Press, 1944 University Ave.,
East Palo Alto, CA 94303. (415) 328-3944
Typeset by GJGraphics, 2336 Palo Verde St.,
East Palo Alto, CA 94303. (415) 322-7188
No, Claudine, I do not shudder. All that is life, time
flowing on, the hoped-for miracle that may lie round the
next bend of the road. It is because of my faith in that
miracle that I am escaping.
Colette, Claudine and Annie
Acknowledgments
I thank especially Elaine Markson, Jeannette Koszuth, Sheryl Dare,
Susan Hester, John Stoltenberg, Eleanor Johnson, and Judah Kata-
loni for their unwavering support and faith.
I also thank the many friends whose lives, opinions, values, and accomplishments encouraged and inspired me during the years in which these stories were written.
I
also thank the many individuals who helped me to survive with
loans and gifts of money over the same period.
Andrea Dworkin
Contents
1
the simple story of a lesbian girlhood
1
2
bertha schneiders existential edge
6
3
how seasons pass
11
4
some awful facts, recounted by bertha schneider
15
5
the new womans broken heart
6
the wild cherries of lust
7
bertha schneiders unrelenting sadness
8
the slit
the simple story of a lesbian girlhood
it began quite possibly with Nancy Drew.
there she was.
her father Carson was a lawyer and her boyfriend Ned always wore
a suit.
she solved mysteries.
in particular I remember The Secret in the Old A ttic. there she
was, her hands tied behind her back, her feet tied together, thrown
on the floor of a deserted attic in the middle of the night, that was
because she had singlehandedly and against all odds discovered the
murderous villain who had committed unspeakable crimes. I cant
remember what they were but Nancy never underestimated or
overestimated. he wanted to kill her so (it seemed absolutely logical
then) he locked her in a pitch black attic with a black widow spider.
there she was, on the floor, struggling and twisting, at any moment,
any wrong move, she would be bitten by the black widow spider and
die a slow, lingering, agonizing death. she wasnt even afraid.
me, I was terrified. I had learned to be terrified in the 2nd grade,
Mrs. (as we said then) Jones class, when we did a science project—
the boys did theirs on spiders, we did ours on seashells. every time
the boys discovered a new poisonous or even a very ugly non-
poisonous spider they made creepy sounds. for about 8 years I
always felt at the foot of my bed for spiders and wore socks. naturally
I was relieved when, on the last page, Carson and Ned flung open the
door to the attic, turned on the light, and stomped on the black
widow spider which was just inches from her brave, abused body, she
never even screamed or cried.
there were also, of course, Cherry Ames Student Nurse and Ginny
Gordon Detective and Flossie of the Bobbsey Twins and Nan who
was I think another Bobbsey Twin (there were 2 sets), they always
had adventures and went out at night and had boyfriends and were
rescued just in the nick of time, they werent much as heroes go but
they were all I had.
sometime about the 6th grade I got into the heavy stuff. Scarlett
O’Hara and Marjorie Momingstar. I read Gone with the Wind at
least 22 times. I had total visual recall of every page. I could open it
up at will to any episode and begin crying immediately. I would sit in
my room, door locked, and cry—tears streaming down my cheeks,
body racked in agony, but quietly so my mother wouldnt hear and
take the book away, when Rhett carried her up those stairs. “My
dear, I don’t give a dam n, ” he said when finally, at last, she begged,
when Ashley died, when Tara was burned to the ground, how
Scarlett suffered and how I suffered, we were the same really, both
women of greatness. I saw my grand white house in rubble, myself in
ashes and sackcloth, destitute, humiliated, my slaves loved me (here
I quivered, knowing even then I was a jerk) and were forced to leave.
Rhett. Rhett. I was her, and I was him, and I was her being cruel to
him, and him being cruel to her, and all of us, suffering, heroic,
driven, by History no less. Melanie, or Melody, or whatever her name
was, pale, dull, and well behaved under every circumstance, appalled me. I skipped all the parts she was in.
Marjorie, the thrill of eating bacon for the 1st time, of course I had
eaten bacon all my life. I just hadnt ever before known how
dangerous it really was. Noel Airman. An Actor, soon he would be