She asked about his family, and he told her about his parents and his sister. He told her of his mother and sister dying of cancer, and why Vicotec meant so much to him.
“If they'd had a product like that available to them, it might have made a difference,” he said sadly.
“Maybe,” she said philosophically. “But sometimes you can't win, no matter how many miracle drugs you have at your disposal.” They'd tried everything, and they still hadn't been able to save Alex. And then she turned to him, thinking of his sister.
“Did she have lads?” He nodded, and tears filled his eyes as he looked into the distance. “Do they come to visit?”
He felt ashamed when he answered. He looked Olivia in the eye, and knew how wrong he had been. Suddenly, being with her made him want to change that. It made him want to change a lot of things, some of which were easier than others.
“My brother-in-law moved away, and remarried within the year. I didn't hear from him for a long time. I don't know why, maybe he wanted to put it all behind him. He didn't call and tell me where they were till he and his new wife needed money. I think they had a couple of more kids by then. And I let Katie tell me that it had been too long, that they probably didn't give a damn, and the kids didn't know me. I let it go, and I haven't heard from them in a long time. They were living on a ranch in Montana the last time I heard from them. Sometimes I wonder if Katie likes the fact that I have no family, except for her and the boys and Frank. She and my sister never really hit it off, and she was furious that Muriel inherited the farm and I didn't. But my father was right to give it to them. I didn't want it or need it, and my father knew that.” He looked at Olivia again then, knowing what he had known for years, and refused to acknowledge, in deference to Katie. “I was wrong to let those kids slip out of my life. I should have gone out to Montana to see them.” He owed that to his sister. But it would have been painful, and it had been so much easier to listen to Katie.
“You still could,” Olivia said kindly.
“I'd like to do that. If I can still find them.”
“I'll bet you can, if you try.”
He nodded, knowing what he needed to do now. And then he was startled by her next question.
“What if you'd never married her?” Olivia asked him with curiosity. She loved playing games with him, and asking him questions that were difficult to answer.
“Then I'd never have the career I have now,” he said simply. But Olivia was quick to shake her head in disagreement.
“You're absolutely wrong. And that's your whole problem,” she said without hesitating for an instant. “You think that everything you have is because of her. Your job, your success, your career, even your house in Greenwich. That's crazy. You would have had a brilliant career anyway. She didn't do that, you did. You would have had a fabulous career wherever you were, maybe even back in Wisconsin. You have that kind of mind, and I suspect that kind of ability to seize opportunity, and run with it. Look what you've done with Vicotec. You said yourself that was entirely your baby.”
“But I haven't done it yet,” he said modestly.
“You will though. No matter what Suchard says. One year, two, ten, who cares. You'll do it,” she said, with absolute conviction. “And if this doesn't work, something else will. And it has nothing to do with who you're married to.” She wasn't wrong, he just didn't know that. “I'm not denying the Donovans gave you an opportunity, but other people would have too. And look what you've given them. Peter, you think they've done it all for you, and you're still embarrassed about it. You've done it all yourself and you don't even know it.” It was certainly a perspective he'd never had before, and listening to her gave him confidence. She was a remarkable woman. She gave him something no one ever had before, and certainly not Katie. But he gave her something too, a kind of warmth and caring and tenderness she had longed for. They were a rare combination, and she was grateful for it.
It was the end of the afternoon when they went back to her hotel, and ordered salade incoise, and bread and cheese to eat on the terrace. And at six o'clock he looked at his watch, and realized he had to head back to Paris. But after a day of swimming and sun, and restraining the passion he felt for her, he was almost too tired to move, let alone drive ten hours.
“I don't think you should,” she said, looking very pretty and young and tan and somewhat worried. He would have liked to stay with her forever. “You haven't had a decent night's sleep for two days, and you won't get back until four in the morning, even if you leave in the next ten minutes.”
“I have to admit,” he said, looking pleasantly fatigued, “it's not terribly appealing. But I should get back.” He had called the Ritz and there were no messages for him at least, but he still had to go back to Paris, and eventually Suchard would call him. He was just relieved that neither Katie nor Frank had called him that morning.
“Why not stay the night, and drive to Paris tomorrow?” she said sensibly, and he looked at her and debated.
“Will you come back with me if I go tomorrow?”
“Maybe,” she said, looking suddenly very fey as she looked out at the ocean.
“That's what I love about you, a real passion for commitment.” But she had a passion for other things, and the little he had tasted of her had already nearly driven him to distraction. “All right, all right,” he said finally. He really was too tired to undertake the drive that night, and preferred to do it after a good night's sleep, the following morning.
But when they went to rent the other single remaining room at her hotel, they found that it had already been rented. There were only four rooms in all, and she had the best one. It was a small double room with a view of the ocean, and they stood looking at each other for a long moment.
“You can sleep on the floor,” she said finally with a mischievous grin, attempting to honor their commitment to each other not to do anything they'd regret later. But at times it was difficult to remember.
“It's depressing to admit,” he grinned, “but that's the best offer I've had in a long time. I'll take it.”
“Fair enough. And I promise to behave. Scout's honor.” She held up two fingers and he pretended to look disappointed.
“That's even more depressing.” They were both laughing as they went off arm in arm to find him a clean T-shirt, a razor, and a pair of blue jeans. And they found all of it in the local store. The T-shirt advertised FANTA, the jeans fit him perfectly, and he insisted on shaving in her tiny bathroom before dinner, and he looked better than ever when he emerged. She was wearing a white cotton lace skirt, a halter top, and a pair of espadrilles she had bought on the trip down, and with her shining dark hair and her tan, she looked really lovely. It was hard to realize now that this was the woman he had read about, and been fascinated by for so long. She didn't seem like the same person anymore. She was his friend, and the woman he was falling in love with. And there was something very sweet about the way they felt about each other physically and emotionally, and in spite of the opportunity, refused to indulge it. It was wonderfully romantic and old-fashioned.
They held hands and kissed, and went for a long walk at midnight on the beach, and when they heard music in the distance, they danced on the sand, holding each other close, and then he kissed her.