By now the Great Sage had used lifting magic to escape on his cloud, which he turned round to go straight back to the hollow by the road. Sanzang was looking out for him fixedly by the bright light of the moon and the stars, and as soon as he saw Monkey approaching he called out, “Can we get through the capital of Dharmadestructia, disciple?”
Coming up and laying the clothes down in front of him, Monkey replied, “Master, you won't get through Dharmadestructia as a monk.”
“Brother,” said Pig, “who do you think you're making things hard for? It's easy to stop being a monk. All you have to do is stop shaving your head for six months and let your hair grow.”
“We can't wait six months,” Monkey replied. “We're going to turn into laymen right now.”
“But that's a completely ridiculous thing to say,” said a shocked Pig. “We're all monks now, and if we turned into laymen straight away we wouldn't be able to wear hats. Even if we could pull them tight enough at the edges we've got no hair to tie the string at the top to.”
“Stop fooling about,” Sanzang shouted, “and be serious. What do you really have in mind?”
“I've had a good look at this city, Master,” Monkey replied, “and although the king is a wicked one who kills monks he is a true son of heaven. There is an auspicious glow and a happy atmosphere above the city. I know my way round the streets now, and I can understand and talk the local language. I've just borrowed these hats and clothes from an inn for us to dress ourselves up as laymen in. We'll go into the city, put up for the night, get up at the fourth watch and ask the innkeeper to fix us some vegetarian food. At the fifth watch we'll go out through the gate and head West along the main road. If we meet anyone who tries to stop us we can talk our way out of it. I'll tell him we were sent by the ruler of their suzerain state. The king of Dharmadestructia won't dare hold us up. He'll let us go on our way.”
“Our big brother has arranged things very well,” said Friar Sand. “Let's do as he suggests.”
The venerable elder did indeed have no option but to take off his monastic tunic and hat and put on a layman's clothing and headwear. Friar Sand changed too, but Pig's head was too big for him to be able to wear a hat. Monkey fetched needle and thread, tore two hats open and sewed them into a single one. Then he put the hat on Pig's head and found a garment big enough for him to wear. Finally he dressed himself and said, “Gentlemen, we must ban the words 'master' and 'disciples' on this journey.”
“What else can we call each other?” Pig asked. “We must talk like people who address each other as brothers,” Monkey replied. “The master can call himself Tang the Eldest. You can be Hogg the Third, and Friar Sand can be Sand the Fourth. I'll be Sun the Second. But when we are in the inn none of you must say anything. Leave all the talking to me. When they ask what line of business we're in I'll say we're horse dealers. I'll pretend that the white horse is a sample and that there are ten of us altogether, of whom we four have come ahead to book rooms at an inn and sell this horse. The innkeeper will be bound to treat us well then. We'll be properly looked after, and before we leave I'll find a piece of broken tile and turn it into silver to pay him with. Then we'll be able to go on our way.” Although he was not happy about it the Tang Priest had to go along with this.
The four of them hurried to the city, leading the horse and carrying the luggage. As this was a very peaceful place the city gates were still open although it was already night. They went straight into the city, and as they passed the gateway of Wang the Second's inn they could hear shouting inside.
People were yelling, “My hat's disappeared!” and “My clothes have gone!” Pretending he did not know what this was all about, Monkey took them to an inn further along on the other side of the road. This inn was still showing its lantern, so Monkey went up to the gateway and called, “Do you have a vacant room for us, innkeeper?”
“Yes, yes,” a woman answered from inside. “Please come upstairs, gentlemen.” Before she had finished speaking a man came out to take the horse. Monkey handed him the horse to take inside. He then led the master into the building in the shadow of the lamp. Upstairs there were tables and chairs conveniently arranged, and when the window was opened they all sat down in the clear moonlight.
When someone came with a lighted lamp Monkey blocked the doorway, blew it out and said, “No need for a lamp on a bright night like this.”
No sooner had the man with the lamp gone down than a maid came up with four bowls of tea. Monkey took the bowls from her, only for her to be followed by a woman who looked to be about fifty-six or fifty-seven coming up the stairs.
Standing beside Monkey she asked, “Where are you gentlemen from? What fine goods do you have?”
“We're from the North,” Monkey replied, “and we've got a few poor horses to sell.”
“You're very young to be a horse dealer,” the woman said.
“This gentleman is Tang the Eldest,” Monkey explained, “this is Hogg the Third, and this is Sand the fourth. I'm Sun the Second, an apprentice.”
“But your surnames are all different,” said the woman with a smile. “Yes,” Monkey replied, “our surnames are different but we all live together. There are ten of us brothers altogether, and we four have come ahead to fix our board and lodging. The other six have found a place outside the city to stay tonight. It would have been awkward for them to come into the city as they've got a herd of horses. They'll come in tomorrow morning when we've fixed some accommodation. We won't go home till we've sold the horses.”
“How many horses are there in your herd?” the woman asked.
“Over a hundred of all ages,” Monkey replied. “They're all like that one of ours, except that they come in different colours.”
“Mr. Sun,” the woman said with a laugh, “you really know how to travel. You should have come straight here: no other inn would be able to put you up. We have a big courtyard well supplied with troughs and tethering posts and plenty of fodder too. We could feed several hundred horses here. There's just one thing I should mention. I've been keeping this inn for many years and it's quite well known. My late husband was called Zhao, but I'm afraid he died long ago, so this is now called Widow Zhao's Inn. We have three classes of entertainment for our guests. Let's get sordid money matters out of the way, then we can be more civilized later. The first thing is to discuss the tariffs and agree on one so that we know where we stand when it's time to settle the accounts.”
“Quite right,” Monkey replied. “What are your three classes of entertainment? As the saying goes,
Your tariffs may be low, your tariffs may be dear,
But treat us all the same, who come from far or near.
What do your tariffs involve? Could you explain them to me?”
“We have first, second and third-class tariffs,” the old woman replied. “The first class is a banquet with five kinds of fruit and five different dishes. The tables are set with confectionery lions and immortals fighting. Two gentlemen share a table, and there are young ladies to sing to them and sleep with them. It costs half an ounce of silver per head, the price of the room included.”
“I'd agree to that,” Monkey replied. “Where we come from half an ounce wouldn't even pay for a girl.”
“For the second-class tariff,” the woman continued, “you all eat from the same dishes of food and we provide fruit and warm wine that you help yourselves to in your drinking games. No young ladies are provided and it costs one fifth of an ounce of silver each.”