“I'd agree to that too,” Monkey replied. “What about the third class?”
“I wouldn't like to discuss it with such distinguished gentlemen as yourselves,” she replied.
“No harm in telling us about it,” Monkey replied, “so that we can choose what suits us best.”
“Nobody waits on you in the third class,” she said, “and we provide a big pot of rice for you to eat from as you will. When you're full there's straw for you to spread out on the ground and sleep on where it suits you. At dawn you give us a few coppers for the rice and I can assure you we won't argue about how much.”
“We're in luck,” said Pig, “we're in luck. That's the sort of deal I like. I'll eat my fill from the cauldron then have a bloody good sleep in front of the stove.”
“What nonsense, brother,” said Monkey. “We've earned an ounce or two of silver on our travels. Give us the first-class treatment.”
“Make some good tea,” the woman said with great delight, “and tell the kitchen to get the food ready quickly.” She then went downstairs calling out, “Kill chickens and geese and boil up some pickled meat for them to have with their rice.”
Then she shouted, “Kill a pig and a sheep. What can't be eaten today can be served tomorrow. Get some good wine. Use the best white rice, and make some pancakes with white flour.”
When Sanzang heard all this from upstairs he said, “Whatever shall we do, Sun the Second? They're going to slaughter chickens, geese, a pig and a sheep. If they bring us all these we won't be able to eat them as we're all vegetarians.”
“I've got an idea,” said Monkey, and he stamped in the doorway and called out, “Mrs. Zhao, come up here.”
“What instructions do you have for me, sir,” she asked.
“Don't kill any living creatures today. We're eating vegetarian food today,” Monkey replied.
“Are you gentlemen permanent vegetarians, or just vegetarians for this month?” asked the woman in surprise.
“Neither,” replied Monkey. “We're vegetarians on gengshen days. Today's one, so we have to eat meatless food. But after the third watch tonight it'll be a xinyou day and the restrictions won't apply. Kill them tomorrow. Lay on some vegetarian food today, and make it first-class.”
This made the woman happier than ever. “Don't slaughter anything,” she said, hurrying downstairs, “don't slaughter anything. Fetch some tree-ear fungus, Fujian bamboo shoots, beancurd and wheat gluten. Pick some green vegetables in the garden, make vermicelli soup, steam some brad rolls, boil more white rice and make some scented tea.”
Now the cooks were experts because they cooked every day, so that everything was ready in an instant to be set out upstairs. They also had some confectioneries of lions and immortals that were already made for the four travelers to eat their fill of.
When the question was asked, “Would you like some mild wine?” Brother Monkey replied, “Eldest Brother Tang won't have any, but the rest of us will have a few cups.” The widow then fetched a jug of warm wine.
When drinks had been poured out for the three of them they heard the sound of banging against wooden boards. “Has some furniture fallen over downstairs, missus?” Monkey asked.
“No,” the woman replied, “It's some retainers from my farm who arrived late this evening with rent rice. We let them sleep downstairs. As we were short-staffed when you gentlemen arrived I told them to take the sedan-chairs to the brothel to fetch some young ladies to keep you company. They must have hit the underneath of the floorboards with the chair-poles.”
“You mentioned that before,” Monkey said. “But don't send for them now. Today's a fast day, and besides, our brothers aren't here yet. They'll be here tomorrow for sure. Then we can all send for some call-girls and have a good time in your excellent establishment before we sell our horses and go.”
“What good men,” the woman said, “what good men. That way you'll all stay friends and you won't waste your energy.” Then she ordered that the sedan-chairs be brought back in as the whores were not to be fetched. The four of them finished their wine and food, the utensils were cleared away, and the meal was over.
“Where are we going to sleep?” Sanzang whispered in Monkey's ear.
“Upstairs,” Monkey replied.
“Too dangerous,” Sanzang replied. “We have all had so hard a journey that we may well fall fast asleep. If any of the inn people come in to tidy up and our hats have rolled off they will see our bald heads, realize that we are monks, and raise a hue and cry. That would be a disaster.”
“You're right,” said Monkey, going out to stamp his foot again.
“What instructions do you have this time, Mr. Sun?” the woman asked, coming upstairs once more.
“Where are we to sleep?” Monkey asked.
“Upstairs is best,” she replied. “There are no mosquitoes and there's a South wind. Open the windows wide and you'll sleep beautifully.”
“We won't be able to,” said Monkey. “Our Mr. Hogg the Third has a touch of gout, Mr. Sand the Fourth has some rheumatism in his shoulder, Brother Tang can only sleep in the dark, and I don't like the light myself. So this is no place for us to sleep.”
As the woman went downstairs, leaning on the banisters and sighing, her daughter, who was carrying a child in her arms, came up to her and said, “Mother, as the saying goes, 'Be stuck on a sandbank for ten days, then said past nine sandbanks in one.' It's too hot now to be doing much business, but once autumn begins we'll have more than we can handle. What are you sighing like that for?”
“It's not because business is slack, daughter,” the older woman replied. “I was just going to close the inn up this evening when four horse dealers came and took a room. They wanted the first-class tariff. I was hoping to make a little silver out of them, and I'm sighing because we won't earn much: they're fasting.”
“As they've already eaten they can't very well go to another inn,” the daughter replied. “And we'll be able to make money out of them when we serve them meat and wine tomorrow.”
“They're all poorly,” the older woman replied, “and want somewhere dark to sleep because they don't like drafts or light. All the rooms in the inn have got missing tiles, so where am I going to find somewhere dark for them? It'd be best to write off the cost of the meal and tell them to stay somewhere else.”
“But we do have somewhere dark in the house, mother,” her daughter replied, “where there's no draft and no light. It'll do splendidly.”
“Where?” the older woman asked.
“The big trunk that father had made when he was still alive,” the daughter replied. “It's four feet wide, seven feet long and three feet high, and big enough for seven people to sleep in. Tell them to sleep in the trunk.”
“I don't know whether it'll do,” said the older woman. “I'll ask them. Mr. Sun, if you won't have our poky little room there's nowhere darker here than our big trunk. It'll keep out light and drafts. So why don't you sleep in the trunk?”
“Splendid,” Monkey replied. She then told several of the retainers to carry the trunk out and open the lid, while inviting her guests to come downstairs. Monkey led the master and Friar Sand carried the luggage as they went to the trunk, following in the lantern's shadow. The reckless Pig was the first to climb inside. Friar Sand lifted the luggage in then helped the Tang Priest in before getting in himself.
“Where's our horse?” Monkey asked.
“Tied up eating hay in the stables at the back,” replied the servant who was attending them.
“Bring it here,” said Monkey, “and bring the trough too. Tether the animal next to the trunk.” Only then did he get inside himself and call out, “Shut the lid, Mrs. Zhao, fasten the hasp and padlock it. And look it over for us. Glue paper wherever it lets in the light. Open it again early tomorrow morning.”