The lights dimmed, the floor tilting under her feet. Instinctively she reached out to grab the railing. She clung to it, sucking in deep breaths before she realized it wasn’t some sort of freaky attack, but her.
God, Annie, you’re pitiful.
That she was. She was also an idiot. There was one place she could go. It was just she hadn’t been there in so long she’d almost forgotten.
Calmer now that she had a destination, she released the railing and moved over to the window that framed the stairwell. She could reach it from this window; all she had to do was lace her fingers under the edge of the sill and coax it…
The window slid open with far more ease than she remembered. Some rather bored, or possibly just a type-A, industrious person must have oiled the frame.
She lowered it back down until the gap was only eight inches—better to not attract attention—then with a furtive glance over her shoulder to make sure no one had either come up the stairs or exited one of the classrooms, she slithered out through the window. It wasn’t a far drop, just a touch over five feet, and her toes touched down on the gritty coating of the rubber matting.
Barely noticing the prick to the bottoms of her bare feet she stood up, drawing in a deep breath of cool evening air. Oh yes, this is what she needed.
Aware of how easily she could gash up her feet, she gingerly eased a few feet to the side and settled down with her back to the building, the roof of the cafeteria stretched out in front of her. She knew from experience that no one could see her here in this corner so, as long as she didn’t stay out here long enough for her father to get worried and send someone after her, she should be able to steal a few minutes of peace. Besides, it wasn’t like she was truly disobeying the outside rule. She was still physically in contact with the building, after all.
She tipped her head back, gazing longingly up into the sky. When was the last time she’d stargazed? She used to love it. It wasn’t dark enough yet, and truly never would be here in the city to see them, but she found herself searching anyway.
Back when she was a young child she and her dad and Aaron would take trips out to her father’s childhood home. His parents weren’t alive anymore but he’d wanted to give Annie the chance to run and roam and enjoy her youth—something she couldn’t do here in the city. They hadn’t been back in years, not since that horrible night, but she hadn’t forgotten the stories he’d told her.
Maybe she’d romanticized all those stories about her grandparents. What was it he’d said Grandma had told him? That meeting one’s mate was like having the stars suddenly, miraculously align and everything in the universe unexpectedly make sense. So when she met Bennett and that little spot deep inside of her went click, she’d thought she’d found her little miracle.
Turns out she was just a really big wisher.
She closed her eyes, biting back the chest-rattling sob that threatened to erupt. How could the connection have felt so real? She knew she was all over the board emotionally—a really fucking late and frustratingly drawn puberty, her father told her, thanks to their family genetics that appeared to include longevity—but she also wasn’t a fool. She thought she knew the difference between hormones and real feelings. It was that edge of emptiness that accompanied them. That feeling like you were standing inside your own body and saying whoa, what’s your problem even as your mouth continued to spout off. She’d been experiencing tons of those moments over the last half-dozen years and had gotten to recognize the signs. But with Bennett? There had been none of that. When she was around him she felt solid. Like her head, heart, and body were all in accord: He made her stars align.
Yeah? Then how come nothing makes sense right now?
“Oh, excuse me.”
She whirled, automatically shifting into a crouch that would allow for her to meet the emanate threat. Only this young soldier, standing awkwardly with one arm still clutching the window ledge, wasn’t a threat, but another escapee like her.
And right. Way to top her humiliation but to be caught in a crying jag. Nice.
She stood up, brushing off the butt of her sweats. “It’s okay. I was just, uh, leaving.”
“No, no, please don’t…” He waved his hand at her, then let it drop, shrugging a bit self-consciously as he gave her a sympathetic grin. “Looks like you could use the solace as much as me.”
What followed was an awkward silence. A really awkward one. The fact that he could tell meant that her face must look like a puffed up marshmallow—with blotchy pink paint flecks added, of course.
“I didn’t think anyone came here,” he said, glancing back at the half-open window. One guess who had oiled the window.
“I haven’t been out here in a while.”
“Well,” he moved over closer and sat, draping his wrists casually across his raised knees as he looked up at her, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
“Thanks.” She folded her arms awkwardly across her breasts, very aware of what the cool evening air was doing to her nipples.
“You can sit with me, if you’d like.” He patted the roof beside him, smiling up at her. “I promise I won’t bite.”
Okay, and he was definitely flirting with her. Considering what a fright she must look like he was either really desperate or just being kind. Not that it mattered. She wasn’t at all interested. Nope, only assholes with golden god complexes turned her on.
Still, he was being nice, and she really didn’t want to go in yet.
She folded her legs, settling back down. He flashed her a grin, but quickly turned his gaze forward, looking out of the dusky cityscape—or rather what they could see from here, which included the roof, a cracked and pitted playground, and the backside of the adjacent buildings.
They sat in silence, which she appreciated. It was nice to just sit and breathe in the simplicity of the night, though it was getting downright chilly as the breeze picked up. Clouds for the promised night rain were rolling in. She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself. So much for her stars.
“You look cold.”
“A bit,” she admitted, even as she tried to repress the shivers.
“Here.” He wiggled out of his jacket, his shoulders bunching and bulging as he worked it off his back. “Take it,” he said, holding it out to her.
She shook her head. “I couldn’t.”
“Sure you can. I’m hot right now anyway.” As if to prove his point he set the jacket down between them, leaning indifferently against the cold brick wall.
She reached, hesitated, then grabbed up the warm material and pulled the jacket on. Warmth immediately surrounded her and a shudder ran through her body, though this one had nothing to do with being cold and everything to do with her tight nerves releasing.
See? Men were not all dogs. Now she just had to convince herself that she would be better off without one particular dog.
Angling her head unobtrusively, she studied the man sitting next to her. She knew him, she just couldn’t place him. Despite the fact that he was taller than her and had the type of hair that itched to be played with, he was actually pretty average looking. She frowned, dissecting each of his features. It wasn’t until he glanced her way, then quickly averted his gaze, that she figured it out.
“That’s where I’ve seen you before! Shielding class. Ryan, right?” He always stood in the back, never drew attention to himself, and had trouble meeting anyone’s eyes.