“So, Ed, where do we start? And who do you think as your deputy, Butler or Anthony? Who?”
Halifax shot back,
“Well, Rab is possible. Actually, Rab is completely suitable, but Anthony is equally unsuitable. ‘Half a mad baronet, and half a beautiful woman’ is what Rab calls Eden, and I am inclined to agree.”
Roosevelt roared with laughter.
“No, no, Anthony would be a complete disaster; you know, he actually paints his finger nails with clear nail polish?”
Roosevelt frowned, but before he could ask for an explanation, Halifax asked,
“Franklin, did you have anything to do with the Russian armistice?”
Roosevelt said that he did not.
“Pity. That could have been useful.”
“Wait just a second.”
Impetuous as always and without thinking, Roosevelt picked up the telephone and called the German Embassy, “Herr Schneider, please.”
After a moment, Schneider came on the line,
“Schneider, hello, it’s Franklin here. Look, I think I can get you a deal with the Brits, but we’re going to have to gild the lily a little. Look, you know Eddie Halifax, right? Well, he’s with me now and he thinks—and I agree—that we can change the London government to a more, how shall I say, friendly one, if we put it about that the Oval was involved in the settlement with you and the Soviets. Is that reasonable to you?”
Schneider said it was.
Roosevelt said, “Great, leave it to me and Eddie.”
At the embassy, Schneider put down the phone and looked at a naked Louise on the couch, her long, long legs draped along the length of the couch wearing nothing but her favorite pair of nude high heels. (Schneider, like so many other men, loved sex with a woman wearing nothing but heels.)
“Who was that?” she asked.
“You would not believe me if I told you.”
“OK, Eddie, the game’s afoot,” the President said.
34: Rab’s Delight
THE GOVERNMENT WHIPS LOOKED NERVOUS as the division was called. Their nervousness was well justified—the government was short a staggering 102 votes. Earlier that day, the MPs—and indeed all of educated England—had read in the Times an account of the tireless and strenuous efforts of the American president in securing the peace accord between the Germans and the Soviets, and how the Germans had first resisted the entreaties of the American president as the Germans were is such an overwhelmingly strong position, but, finally, the Germans had come around.
But, it was on page three that the phantasy of Churchill’s reputation as the savior of democracy was destroyed. An article, based on information supplied by the Swiss and Swedish Red Cross organizations, listed the details of the gruesome discoveries in the Katyn forest in Poland. Even the Anglican churchmen—ever the bedrock of the British Establishment—were making noises about the “Soviet Massacre,” as it came to be known.
As the roll was called, Churchill stormed from the chamber, an act as imperious as it was insulting.
Rab Butler, who detested Churchill, enjoyed the ultimate pleasure in visiting Number 10 later that afternoon with the message that Butler had personally arranged for Halifax to return to “help the country recover from the insanity you have put it through.” Butler simply laughed as Churchill screamed at him from the top of the stairs at Number 10, as Colville tried to restrain his boss.
“You are a half-American bankrupt whore who should have been shot after Gallipoli. I am here to reclaim the post for a rational and reasonable, pure Englishman.”
After his mocking, Rab left. Churchill turned to his often-abused secretary, and said,
“Jock, it’s not true. Tell me it’s not true. Please.”
Colville drew in his breath, and slowly said, “Well, sir, I am afraid it is true.”
The next day witnessed one of the most astonishing events in the long life of the oldest parliament—the new Deputy Prime Minister, Rab Butler, sought a meeting with the King to seek permission to form a new government, as Prime Minister Elect Halifax would not land at Heston until that evening.
The King was not informed that his elder brother would replace Halifax in Washington—“the King is a very busy man, and I did not want to bother him with the minutiae of the democratic process,” Butler would remark later to Halifax over whiskies when Halifax was comfortably ensconced in his new residence at Downing Street.
Epilogue
ONE OF THE MOST TELLING of all photos taken in the early post-European war period was snapped by a young Life photographer on an early May morning in the Rose Garden.
Glorious bright sunlight, so loved by photographers the world over, streamed down on the White House, the primrose yellow of the roses contrasted so perfectly with the green of the lawn mowed the previous day for the benefit of the mob of photographers.
And there in the middle of the lawn, looking very bonny, and almost smug, stood the heads of state and their wives: Franklin Roosevelt, President of the United States of America; on his left, Albert Speer, the new Reich Chancellor; Nobusuke Kishi, Prime Minister of Japan; and on his right, Lord Halifax, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Nervously fiddling behind Albert was David Windsor, the British Ambassador to the United States, who had less than six weeks life remaining—he was assassinated leaving the Cafe Royale in London by three officers of the Grenadier Guards still loyal to Churchill. After shooting the former king, the three politely waited for the police and to be arrested; the start of a rebellion Rab Butler was to so brutally—and successfully—suppress.
David’s wife, having once been denied the throne, was again bitterly denied the limelight she so adored. On this glorious May day, the smoke still rose from the English Oval cigarette reluctantly dropped by the new British Prime Minister at the insistence of the young Life photographer.
The overall impression was of three very satisfied men.
Bibliography
While obviously a work of fiction, the history is accurate.
This brief bibliography lists some of the more useful books and authors. All books mentioned are available on online.
In addition, both YouTube and Wikipedia are useful—the Yokohama sword story is based on a YouTube video.
This list is not meant to be complete and comprehensive, but it does cover some of the major points.
Finally, I would like to thank Dean Lekos whose tireless fact-checking and proof-reading removed countless errors; the errors that remain are due to me alone.
• Shlaes, Amity. The Forgotten Man: A New History of the Great Depression. New York: HarperCollins, 2007.
This novel is inspired by The Forgotten Man, by Amity Shlaes. In fact, the seven words of the dedication are based on the first paragraph of the introduction to Shlaes’s book. The Forgotten Man destroys many myths and shibboleths and as such it is highly recommended.
I happened on this book from a review in the Economist. Before reading this book, I had the standard-issue regular commonsense view: the naughty and wicked Republicans caused the Great Depression, helped largely in part by the boozy excesses of the Twenties—flappers, Jay Gatsby, and all that; then the wonderful FDR saved the day.