I froze. The shade in Sandmurram… Goddessdamn, had that thing been sent by the Mirager? I pictured it again. And thought: It could have been this man's twin… except that this man was all too alive. I took a calming breath and said, 'No, there's no problem. I'll meet you at the well. Will you really take me to meet the Mirager?'
'Tomorrow. I promise. If you have anything precious among your things, bring it with you. You won't be going back to the Governor's residence again. Sweet damn, I can hardly bear to let you out of my sight. Are you sure you'll be all right?'
I nodded, but I was distracted. I was staring at the floor, my mind chasing an illusive memory. The tiles beneath my feet were of brown and white agate, quite unlike the usual cheap flooring of the few Kardi homes I had entered on my way to Madrinya. I glanced up at the walls: the adobe had been panelled. The wood was cracked and splintered, the tiles chipped and dirty, but once this had been a room of simple beauty – a nobleman's house, perhaps, or some wealthy Kardi merchant. And somewhere, faint in the edges of my memory, I was feeling the cool smoothness of polished agate stone beneath my bare feet as I ran, laughing, with other children…
I finished dressing and looked back at him. 'There is one other thing I'd like to know now.'
'Anything.'
"What's your name?'
He started to laugh. 'Temellin,' he said, chuckling. 'Friends call me Temel. Lovers call me Tern.'
Brand was waiting for me at the door. He took the ewer and prepared to wash my feet, but I refused the service with sudden distaste and bathed them myself. Afterwards, as I undid my slave collar in front of the mirror in the main room of my apartments, I remembered Evander's arms around me and the legionnaires discussing my rape as if I hadn't been there… Slave woman. Chattel. Less than human. Less even than a valued animal. My eyes met Brand's in the mirror and then fell to his collar.
I didn't think I had shown him anything on my face, but he gave the slightest of cynical smiles and said, 'So I guess something happened to show you what it is really like to be a slave.'
I put my collar down on the desk. 'Yes.'
'I knew you would realise one day. In fact, it's taken a little longer than I once thought it would.'
I sat down at my desk and pulled a blank piece of parchment and the ink towards me. 'You're a bastard, Brand,' I remarked and began to write. When I had finished I heated wax, dropped it onto the bottom of the document and imprinted it with my ring seal. Once the ink was dry I flung it across the desk to him.
CHAPTER TEN
He read it without expression. Then, raising his eyes to meet mine, he said, 'I'm not going to thank you for giving me what was my birthright. But I think you know that.'
I nodded. 'Yes, confound you. You know me far too well, you Altani barbarian. But don't expect me to like you for being right.'
'That's what older brothers, are for. To help their little sisters grow up.'
'You're sodding lucky I don't throw the ink at you. I shall make arrangements for you to be paid a wage in the future.'
'If I decide I want to stay in your employ,' he pointed out.
I gritted my teeth. 'Yes. If. I shall also calculate what is owed you in back wages from the time you entered my service.' It was only while I was waiting for his reply that I knew how much I feared he would leave me.
He knew it too, of course, which is why the bastard didn't answer immediately. He was punishing me. 'Salving a guilty conscience, Ligea?'
I noted the lack of title, but didn't remark on it. 'Allow me that luxury.'
He grinned. 'So, apart from the fact someone treated you like a slave, what else happened today?'
What happened? A man made love to me and showed me paradise… 'I have promised to bring the sword tomorrow and they will take me to the Mirager. In fact, they have said they will take me to die Mirage. Free me from slavery'
'They didn't doubt you?' Without asking for permission, he sat down on the divan opposite the desk and began picking at the fruit on a side table there. I knew he was deliberately indicating what he
considered the only possible basis for any new working relationship: I must consider him my equal. I was disconcerted, stifled the feeling – but thought he sensed it anyway, and was amused by it.
Damn it, I'd just freed him, but he was still a servant, by all that was holy! He ought to have shown me more respect.
He asked, 'And are you going to go to the Mirage with them?'
I stood up. 'I don't know. To discover the secret of crossing the Shiver Barrens, to find out just what this Mirage is – that wasn't part of my mandate, but it may be even more important than trapping the Mirager.' I began to pace the floor, scratching my left palm. 'I think I will decide what to do once I see which way the dice falls tomorrow. I'll see what happens.'
Brand waved the paper I had signed. 'I see this is dated three days from now. I am still yours to command.'
I felt a twinge of shame. 'I wasn't sure what you would do once you were free. I'm still not sure, and I may need your help in the next day or so.' I paused, but he was silent, so I went on, 'I shall talk to the Military Commander today. I want you to follow me tomorrow, and I want legionnaires stationed all around the city within easy call, no matter where I end up. I'll signal you to fetch them if I need them. No signal will mean I'm going on to the Mirage and the arrest of the Mirager can wait.'
'And if sp, then what? What will you do? How will you get back? Who will help you?'
My lips twisted. 'What's the matter, Brand? Worried I won't be around to pay you what I've promised? Well, don't worry, I'll draw up all the papers tonight, and have them properly witnessed.'
His eyes narrowed. 'I may well be a bastard, but you can be even more of a bitch. Doesn't it occur to you I may just be a little worried about you? That I might just help you simply because you ask? You didn't have to postdate my freedom, Ligea. Vortex take it, what you are proposing is more than dangerous, it's suicidal.'
'I'll be all right. If there's a way in, there'll be a way back. You will wait here in Madrinya for me?'
'Yes, I'll wait, damn you. And if I haven't heard from you in, um, say, two months, I'll come after you.'
'Now that would be suicidal. What I really want you to do is keep Aemid off my back. If she gets a whisper of what I'm doing, she'll be screaming it to every Kardi in Madrinya and my life will be worth less than the contents of a begging bowl.'
He looked disbelieving. 'She wouldn't hurt you.'
'She'd have me killed rather than see anything happen to her precious Kardiastan. Keep an eye on her. If I disappear into the Mirage, tell her I've gone back to Sandmurram. Anything but the truth. I shall leave her manumission paper with you just in case anything happens to me, but don't tell her I'm freeing her too. Not yet. How is she, by the way?'
'Resting. She looks a shade better.'
'I'll get changed and go to see her. You go to the Military Commander's office and ask when it's convenient for me to call.'
'Please,' he said.
I stared at him, uncomprehending.
'You may as well get in the habit of saying it now,' he told me. 'I shan't be a slave much longer.'
I resisted another urge to pitch the inkpot at him.
When I went in to see Aemid, I made sure the lamp was unlit and the room was dim. I didn't want her to
notice I'd rid my hair of its gold highlighting and its curls.
She still looked tired and old, but she was fighting back, a good sign. I suspected that her physical weakness was as much caused by her mental state as anything else. She had held a dream in her head for over twenty-five years, and the reality diverged so much from her vision that she couldn't cope with it.
We talked for a while, neutral topics, then I asked, 'Aemid, did you bring any xeta for me from Tyrans?'