'Who were you seeing?' asked Mary as they walked back to her car.
'Mickey Finn,' replied Jack, 'ex-boxer with scarred eyes and a tremor to match. He told me that Hawkins was involved with Davison's master plan. There is talk of a big shipment coming in on the fifth and he also let slip that he was going to see Jethro — the importance of which I won't understand until later.'
'Anything else?' asked Mary, looking thoughtful.
'No.'
'Are you sure?' 'Yes.'
'Are you SURE you're sure?'
'Er … No, wait. I've just remembered. There was this young kid there up for his first fight. It could make him. Mickey said he was the best he'd ever seen — he could be a contender.'
'Sounds like you had a busy morning,' said Mary, looking up at the grey sky.
'The busiest,' answered Jack, pulling his jacket around his shoulders. 'Come on, I'll buy you lunch.'
The chapter ended and Jack covered his face with his hands and groaned.
'I can't believe I said "the importance of which I won't understand until later". They'll never buy it. It's rubbish!'
'Listen,' I said, 'stop fretting. It'll be fine. We just have to hold the book together long enough to figure out a rescue plan.'
'What have we to lose?' replied Jack with a good measure of stoicism. 'You get up to Jurisfiction and see what you can find out about the Book Inspectorate. I'll hold a few auditions and try to rebuild the scene from memory.'
He paused.
'And Thursday?' 'Yes?'
'Thanks.'
I drove back to the flying boat. Having said I wasn't going to get involved with any internal politics, I was surprised by how much of a kinship with Caversham Heights I was feeling. Admittedly, the book was pretty dreadful, but it was no worse than the average Farquitt — perhaps I felt this way because it was my home.
'Are we going shopping now?' asked Lola, who had been waiting for me. 'I need something to wear for the BookWorld Awards the week after next.'
'Are you invited?'
'We all are,' she breathed excitedly. 'Apparently the organisers are borrowing a displacement field technology from SF. The long and short of it is that we will all be able to fit in the Starlight Room — it's going to be quite an event!'
'It certainly will,' I said, going upstairs. Lola followed me and watched from my bed as I changed out of Mary's clothes.
'You're quite important at Jurisfiction, aren't you?'
'Not really,' I replied, trying to do up my trouser button and realising that it was tighter than normal.
'Blast!' I said.
'What?'
'My trousers are too small.'
'Shrunk?'
'No …' I replied, staring into the mirror. There was no doubt about it. I was starting to put on a small amount of girth. I stared at it this way and that and Lola did the same, trying to figure out what I was looking at.
Catalogue shopping from the inside was a lot more fun than I had thought. Lola squeaked with delight at all the clothes on offer and tried about thirty different types of perfume before deciding not to buy any at all — she, in common with nearly all bookpeople, had no sense of smell. Watching her was like letting a child loose in a toy store — and her energy for shopping was almost unbelievable. It was while we were on the lingerie page that she asked me about Randolph.
'What do you think of him?'
'Oh, he's fine,' I replied non-committally, sitting on a chair and thinking of babies while Lola tried on one bra after another, each of which she seemed to love to bits until the next one. 'Why do you ask?'
'Well, I rather like him in a funny kind of way.'
'Does he like you?'
'I'm not sure. I think that's why he ignores me and makes jokes about my weight. Men always do that when they're interested. It's called subtext, Thursday — I'll tell you all about it some day.'
'Okay,' I said slowly, 'so what's the problem?'
'He doesn't really have a lot of, well, charisma.'
'There are lots of men out there, Lola,' I told her. 'Don't hurry. When I was seventeen I had the hots for this complete and utter flake named Darren. My mother disapproved, which made him into something of a magnet.'
'Ah!' said Lola. 'What about this bra?'
'I thought the pink suited you better.'
'Which pink? There were twelve.'
'The sixth pink, just after the tenth black and nineteenth lacy.'
'Okay, let's look at that one again.'
She rummaged through the pile, found what she wanted and said:
'Thursday?'
'Yes?'
'Randolph calls me a tart because I like boys. Do you think that's fair?'
'It's one of the great injustices of life,' I told her. 'If he did the same he'd be toasted as a "ladies' man". But Lola, have you met anyone who you really liked, someone with whom you'd like to spend more exclusive time?'
'You mean — a boyfriend?'
'Yes.'
She paused and looked at herself in the mirror.
'I don't think I'm written that way, Thurs. But you know, sometimes, just afterwards, you know, when there is that really nice moment and I'm in his big strong arms and feeling sleepy and warm and contented, I can feel there is something that I need just outside my grasp — something I want but can't have.'
'You mean love?'
'No — a Mercedes.'
She wasn't joking.[16]
It was my footnoterphone.
'Hang on, Lola — Thursday speaking.'[17]
I looked at Lola, who was trying on a basque.
'Yes,' I replied, 'why?'[18]
'The safe side of what?'[19]
'I see. What can I do for you apart from answering questions about pianos?'[20]
I wasn't busy. Apart from a Jurisfiction session tomorrow at midday, I was clear.
'Sure. Where and when?'[21]
'Okay.'
Lola was looking at me mournfully.
'Does this mean we'll have to miss out on the gym? We have to go to the gym — if I don't I'll feel guilty about eating all those cakes.'
'What cakes?'
'The ones I'm going to eat on the way to the gym.'
'I think you get enough exercise, Lola. But we've got half an hour yet — c'mon, I'll buy you a coffee.'
21
Who stole the tarts?
'My first adult foray into the BookWorld had not been without controversy. I had entered Jane Eyre and changed the ending. Originally, Jane goes off to India with the drippy St John Rivers, but in the ending that I engineered, Jane and Rochester married. I made the decision from the heart, which I had not been trained to do but couldn't help myself. Everyone liked the new ending but my actions weren't without criticism. Technically I had committed a fiction infraction, and I would have to face the music. My first hearing in Kafka's The Trial had been inconclusive. The trial before the King and Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland would not be as strange — it would be stranger.'
The Gryphon was a creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion. In his youth he must have been a frightening creature to behold, but in his later years he wore spectacles and a scarf, which somewhat dented his otherwise fearsome appearance.
He was, I was told, one of the finest legal eagles around, and after Snell's death he became head of the Jurisfiction legal team. It was the Gryphon who managed to secure the record pay-out following the celebrated Farmer’s Wife v. Three Blind Mice case and was instrumental in reducing Nemo's piracy charges to 'accidental manslaughter'.
20
'You've got a hearing for your trial — remember the fiction infraction? Well, there have been some delays with Max de Winter's appeal so they've applied for a continuancel — can you come this afternoon if you're not too busy, say three o'clock?'
21
'Alice in Wonderland, just after the "Alice's Evidence" chapter. The Gryphon will be representing you. Don't forgetl — three o'clock.'