In this dream I was lying in the barren room beside Carol's body. I seemed to be paralyzed because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't move any part of my body. At last, exhausted from my efforts, I lay back and stared at the face of Lea, which had appeared floating above me. I telepathically asked for her help, but she shook her head saying, "Think carefully, Jon, before you ask for help. I must remind you that if we help you, it will be impossible for you to attain third-level awareness soon enough for us to complete your time translation."
"All right," I said, "but then help Carol. Take her back to the mainland."
Again Lea shook her head. "I can't do that unless she requests it, and so far she has asked to remain with you even if it means her death."
Then I found myself suddenly awake back in 1976 shouting, "Don't let her die, Leal Don't let her die!"
CHAPTER 16: Karma
I had dressed, eaten breakfast, and done a lot of floor pacing and it was still only 6:45, but I decided to call Karl anyway. He usually woke up at about 7 a.m., but today he answered on the first ring. He had been awake for almost an hour struggling with a feeling that he ought to call me.
Five minutes later I was sitting with Karl and Neda at their kitchen table sharing Karl's carrot juice.
I told them about Eli's revelation.
"I've always told you to pay more attention to what I say!" Karl laughed. Then, looking thoughtful, he added, "Do you suppose there could be something to that, Jon?"
"My dearest and truest friend, there was never any doubt!" I said as I threw my arm across his shoulders. A lump arose in my throat and my eyes burned briefly with the poignancy of restrained love that aches to be expressed.
I told them about my difficulties in 2150. When I finished with Lea's telepathic dream communication, Karl got up from the table and said, "That Macro society of yours will be guiltier than Elgon if they let Carol die when they could easily save her."
"But Karl, they don't look at death the way you do," Neda said. "Besides, from the Macro view there is no problem, since it's a perfectly just universe and no one can experience anything that he hasn't chosen."
"What about the population explosion that Elgon is planning? My God, with 30 to 50 kids in every family it won't be long before they take over the world by sheer numbers!"
"Yes," I replied, "I've thought of that, too, but I know that the Macro society won't interfere with the free will of anyone."
"But they force people to stay on Micro Island," Karl objected.
"That's not true, Karl," Neda responded.
"How the hell do you know'!' Karl exploded.
"Because Jon told me," Neda answered as she got up and gave Karl a smile and a hug which melted his irritation.
"She's right," I said. "C.I. told me that although the Macro society originally gathered up all the micro survivors after the disastrous earth changes and plagues and put them on Micro Island, it was not done to punish them, but to help them."
"How's that?" Karl asked.
"Well, they planned to use Micro Island as sort of a grade school where they could show everyone the concepts of Macro philosophy," I explained. "Elgon and Sela were among the early resource people there on the island. It was the misuse of their powers, which they used to control their students, that caused their regression to lower levels of awareness.
"Elgon insisted that there was one way and only one way to attain Macro awareness, and that way was his way. He stopped being a modest resource person and became an arrogant teacher declaring himself as the one and only authority on Macro awareness.
"He then gathered about him such souls as he could influence through coercion, intimidation, hypnosis, or just plain fast talk, and started his own little 'family.' His aim was to clean up the Macro society by giving them firm rules to live by, a police force to help them stay within these rules, and a great charismatic leader-himself -to look to for wisdom and guidance.
"As long as his students did as he said, he 'loved' them dearly and praised them as his 'family.' If they did not do as he said, he told them they were inferior, excluded them from his 'family,' and directed his remaining followers to do likewise. One could get back into Elgon's family only by acknowledging his omniscience."
"Then why do all those people stay on Micro Island if the Macro society doesn't keep them there?" Karl questioned.
"Elgon's propaganda has most of them believing they have the best of all possible worlds. Those who are discontent are not permitted to leave. Elgon knows that if they are exposed to a more Macro way of life they will lose their fear of him and he will lose his power."
"But, Jon, if you and the Macro society know this, why don't you capture Elgon and his thousand controllers and put them on another island where they can't control the lives of other people?"
Neda answered, "Because that would be controlling the lives of Elgon and his followers, which would, in the long run, just keep the problem alive."
"How do you figure that?" he asked.
"It would be just like healing someone who had not yet learned all they wanted to learn from being sick. He'd have to start the lesson all over again. If those souls didn't want to grow from a micro experience they would not have chosen to be born into Elgon's rule," I explained. "If we end the experience for them they'll just have to design another experience to learn that lesson from. No, if it's to end, they must end it themselves."
"Then there's no hope!" Karl exclaimed. "You've just got to let everyone crap on you and take it with a smile. I'll be damned if I'll buy that humble pie nonsense."
"You're right, Karl," Neda said. "You'll be damned, by your own negativity. That's what hell and damnation are all about. They are the micro refusal to accept the consequences of our own actions."
"Now, wait a minute, Jon," Karl injected. "Didn't you once tell me that the Macro society doesn't believe in eternal hell or damnation?"
"That's right," I answered. "But remember, our subconscious mind contains the memory of all our past thoughts and actions. To the extent that we try to avoid applying what we learned from the lessons offered by our past experiences, we are unconsciously driven to repeat them. In other words, we attract to us exactly those experiences which we, within our own minds, condemn."
"I was fascinated," Neda added, "to learn that we can only hate or dislike that which is in our selves, and we can only love or like that which is in our selves."
"That's a lot of crap," Karl said shaking his head. "Why, I can hate a rapist and murderer and not have that inside me."
I shook my head, "According to the Macro philosophers, to the pure in heart all is pure. So, if you find yourself hating or condemning anything, you not only have performed the same act in the past, but by actively condemning this action you'll soon find yourself performing it again possibly in this very life, though some times in another."
"I just don't believe that," Karl replied stubbornly.
"I can understand why you wouldn't believe it," I responded. "It's only been since I've been able to recall more and more of my past lives that I've been able to see the truth in it."
Neda reminded us that it was time for Karl to go off to teach his morning class, so I said I would see them later and went back to my apartment. There I wrote in this journal, bringing it up to date.
I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out some way to reach Carol and get her away from Micro Island. By evening I still hadn't thought of any successful way to save Carol without giving in to Elgon's wishes that I become a permanent resident of Micro Island.