I went upstairs with Rita when she said she was ready for bed. I wanted to stay up with June but I went up with Rita. Rita wanted me to hold her close, and I held her in my arms and petted her. It surprised me that I got hard immediately and had a great desire to have intercourse with her, but of course she had the curse. She noticed I was excited and said, “Well, it’s a shame to waste it, and why don’t you go down and make Junie happy with it?” Joking, of course, but she had never made this kind of a joke before.
When she went to sleep I fought with myself and decided I would have to go downstairs if only to talk things over with June. We had hardly talked at all after what happened the night before.
She was on the couch with the television off and the radio on, and she had a blanket over her. I thought, maybe she was sleeping and wondered why she hadn’t gone to her room. Then she looked over at me and took the blanket off herself, and she was naked and waiting for me.
We neither of us said a word. I went over to the couch and we had sexual intercourse. Of course it was her first time but it didn’t pain her too much and she was able to have a climax. When it was over I couldn’t stop holding her and touching her. It was like with Rita at the very beginning. I just kept holding her and touching her and telling her that I loved her.
Then we talked about Rita. We didn’t either of us know what to do. June said maybe she should go away, and I said maybe Rita and I should go away, and we knew that nobody could go away and that we couldn’t stop what we were doing, either, but no more could we keep on carrying on behind Rita’s back. It looked as though there was no way out.
JUNE: I was so filled with love for Gordon, but at the same time I loved my sister more than ever. And I felt closer to her than ever before because we shared this wonderful experience, we were both of us lovers of Gordon’s. And I thought, I’m taking something from her. But I didn’t want to take anything from her. I wanted to give love to her but instead I was taking something from her and I couldn’t do that, but no more could I give Gordon up.
GORDON: We decided we would have to tell Rita. We talked it out and I said I would have to be the one to tell her. We didn’t go so far as to discuss just what it was we would say. What I would say. There was just no way to talk about it because I had no idea at the time how I would say it or how I wanted it all to work out.
Then we had intercourse again that night. I didn’t know but that we might never have each other again after that. First she used her mouth on me for a little time, and then I did the same for her. She had mentioned about this man doing it to her and her liking it and not liking it both at once, and I had never done this to any girl nor to Rita either and was interested in seeing what it would be like and how she would like my doing it to her. It was better than either of us thought it would be, and then after doing it for awhile I got on top of her again and we had sexual intercourse, and then I went upstairs. Rita was asleep. I got into bed and didn’t think I would be able to sleep, but I dropped off right away.
RITA: When he told me it was a hammer hitting me in the middle of the chest, a sledge hammer in the middle of my chest, and then there was just this numbness, and the first thought I remember having was that this thing had been a long time coming and at least now it had finally happened and was out in the open.
And I said, “Well, you’ve got her now and I guess you won’t be wanting me anymore. And I can’t blame you because she is younger and prettier than I am and maybe she can give you the children that I couldn’t give you.”
And he said, “No, I don’t ever want to leave you, I love you and want you always.”
I said, “But then do you mean you want to stop with June?”
“No,” he said, “`because I love you both.”
I said, “Well, you can’t love both of us.”
He said, “But I do. You love me and you love your sister. She loves me and she loves you. Why can’t it be that I love you both and you both love me?”
“Well,” I said, “that sort of thing cannot be because people are not like that. A man has one wife and a woman has one husband and that is all. I do not see how a man can have two wives. Is that what you want, for us both to be your wives?”
And he said yes, that was what he wanted, and he thought that was what we both wanted, what all three of us wanted, and I said I could not understand it.
GORDON: Of course I had been thinking about this all day, and it was the only way I could see for us to work it out.
RITA: I told him if he loved me he wouldn’t need anyone else, and he said that wasn’t true, that loving Junie made him love me more. I said how could that be and he said that was how it was.
And I said, “What would you do, sleep with me three nights a week and with her three nights, and on the seventh day you would rest?” And he laughed, but I didn’t mean it to be funny. I said, “You cannot have us both and you will have to choose.” And he said for me to think about it, and I said that I didn’t see as there was anything to think about.
I said, “Well, what would you want us to do? Maybe you would want for us to get one big bed and we would all sleep in it, with her on one side and me on the other side and you in the middle.” And he said that would be the best way to do it. “Well, you must be crazy,” I said, “to think that I would go along with something like that, or Junie, either, for that matter. You must be stark crazy to think we would put up with that.”
He said, “What do you mean, ‘to put up with it’? Because it would not be taking anything away from you, or making you do anything you wouldn’t want to do, so how is it something to have to put up with?” I asked him if he thought I could just lie there in bed with them and watch him making love to my sister. “I don’t see why not,” he said. And then he would expect me to make love to him while she was there. “I think it would be a beautiful thing,” he said.
Well, I could not understand any of this.
GORDON: I had not worked every bit of this out in my mind beforehand. A lot of it, a great part of it just came to me as I was talking to Rita. It was a matter of being able to see things clearly that I had not so much as thought of before. All at once I was seeing that we are all taught certain things about sex and love — we aren’t even taught them so much as we grow up with them taken for granted all around us — and for the first time I was looking at these things and seeing that they did not make any sense to me. I was seeing these things clearly and plainly as never before. I was seeing them the way a person will all at once come to see God at a revival meeting. It was that way, it was what you would call a revelation. Now I have been to revivals in the past and I have never had this sort of an experience, although I have seen others have it and have known what it is like. And it was that sort of a feeling that came over me, that I had found something great and beautiful and important. It was that kind of a feeling and I wanted to take Rita in my arms and make her see how beautiful it was, how beautiful and right it could be.
RITA: I said, “You just want more sex, that is all you want. You want two women instead of one and that is all.” He said if that was all he wanted there were easier ways to get it, and he wound up telling me all about the waitress in Dayton, which I knew about but we had never brought it up and I didn’t know who she was, just that there was a woman. Well, he discussed this, although at first I didn’t want to hear about it, and as he was talking a strange thing began to happen to me and that is that I began to be calm and began to see things differently. I do not know how to explain this so that it will make sense. This had all been going against the grain of me, and now it was becoming so that there was no grain and it was going smooth.