“No, I was murdered – and the rat who did it has got my girl.”
“How distressing for you!” Simms patted Barney on the shoulder. “But take my advice, my young friend – put all thought of your mortal existence out of your head, and, above all, don’t contemplate going back to Earth to haunt your murderer. If you join one of our debating societies or discussion groups you will have the inestimable privilege of conversing with Galileo, exchanging scientific ideas with the two great Isaacs, Newton and…”
“What did you say?” Barney cut in. “What was that about going back to Earth?”
“Some misguided souls do it,” Simms said, shaking his head in disapproval. “They never achieve anything, of course. All that happens is that they eventually get swept away into infinity. It doesn’t bear thinking about.”
“How could anybody possibly return to Earth?” Barney said casually, disguising his intense interest in what he had heard.
“It can only be done safely during a lunar eclipse, when the Earth’s shadow forms a corridor linking it to the moon. Some poor tormented souls cannot wait that long, however…” Simms indicated the distraught-looking individual ghosts who were restlessly keeping themselves apart from the groups, “… and they try to get back during an ordinary full moon, when the tip of the Earth’s shadow comes near us. It means crossing a stretch of open space, which is a hazardous enterprise, but I daresay some of them must manage, otherwise the full moon would not be so prominent in the history of superstition.”
“That’s right,” Barney said, a desperate resolve forming itself in his mind. He still felt a powerful yearning to be with Mary, a fact which was slightly puzzling considering that neither he nor she had any physical presence to speak of; he would never rest until he got her out of Haggle’s clutches; and, in the name of both justice and revenge, he craved the chance to punish the little man for all his evil ways. And if the achievement of those goals necessitated crossing the brink of hell itself – so be it.
It occurred to Barney, as he quietly slipped away from Simms, that he had grown up a lot since setting out on his bicycle from the Daisyford employment exchange only two hours earlier.
After waiting three days for the time of the full moon, Barney traversed some thousands of kilometres of open space and reached the shadow of Earth with comparative ease. He did not deceive himself that the crossing had been without risk, however – he had seen other ghosts, presumably less massive than himself, being swept away by the unrelenting pressure of the solar wind. Their cries of despair faded quickly as they were accelerated off into some unknown and remote part of the galaxy.
Barney tried not to think about their ultimate fate as he arrowed down the cone of dark stillness, identified the continent of Europe with his spectral vision, and homed in on southern England which was settling into a night of peaceful slumber. Picking out familiar landmarks, he flitted over Daisyford, and briefly considered dropping in to see his mother before deciding that the ensuing complications would be too much for him to cope with on top of his other problems. In any case, she was likely to be busy with her boyfriend.
He descended on the roof of Gibley Castle, passing through the glass of the conservatory with ease, and came to rest with a jolt on the ancient fabric of the building proper. Haggle had been right, he realized – a particle with the wave functions peculiar to a ghost was unable to pass through thick stonework. Barney glanced around and was relieved to see that his mortal remains had been tidied away. He went to the small shed-like structure of recent origins which capped the elevator shaft, and found he was able to penetrate the thin sheeting of its door with very little difficulty. He sped down the shaft, coming out at successive floors to explore the castle, and eventually was drawn by the bright lighting of a small apartment on the ground floor.
On entering the room Barney saw that it was furnished as a kitchen. The black-suited figure of Haggle was sitting at a table, poring over a book and sipping a cup of chocolate. During his three days of waiting behind the moon Barney had nurtured a plan to lurk around near the laboratory door until Haggle opened it, and then to slip inside without being seen, but at the sight of his enemy his self-control snapped. Haggle was seated under a shelf which was laden with heavy porcelain jars, and before he had considered the consequences Barney – driven by ungovernable fury – was whirling around the room at an ever-increasing rate, like a particle in a cyclotron, trying to dislodge the jars. As his speed built up his mass increased accordingly, as dictated by the laws of physics, and the ceramic containers began to vibrate and stir under the multiple impacts of his ghostly form.
Haggle looked up from his book, his eyes widening in alarm. He turned his gaze towards the overhead shelf, saw one of the jars toppling down on him, and threw himself clear an instant before it shattered on his chair.
Barney came to an abrupt halt, his disappointment giving way to relief as he belatedly realized the position he would have been in had Haggle met a well-deserved end. With the little man dead there would have been no physical agency for opening the laboratory door and Mary would have continued languishing in captivity. Barney, knowing he was invisible because of the brightness in the kitchen, paused beside Haggle and was concerned to see that he was clutching his chest with one hand and holding on to the table for support with the other. Perspiration beaded out on the white dome of his head. He emitted a strangulated gasp, staggered out of the kitchen and lurched along a passageway to the elevator.
Barney stayed close behind him the whole way down to the dungeon level, hovering solicitously as Haggle clawed the remote control box out of his pocket and opened the laboratory door. Steeling himself to endure the unpleasant intimacy of partially occupying the same space as Haggle’s body, he went through the narrow aperture with the little man. The heavily shielded door swung shut behind him and, his whole body suffused with tender longing, he cast about him in the hope of espying Mary and once again hearing her voice. She was not to be seen.
“There’s no point in your hiding, my proud beauty,” Haggle croaked, hobbling towards his bed. “I have a feeling I’m soon to be released from this physical shell, and when that happens… you and I… you and I…” The excitement of visualizing what he would do when he finally came to grips with Mary apparently placed too great a strain on Haggle’s system. He gave a quavering moan and collapsed unconscious on the bed. Barney gazed at him anxiously, half-expecting to see an astral body arise from the mortal clay, but rapid shallow movements of the chest told him that Haggle was still in the land of the living.
“Mary! Where are you, Mary?” Barney kept his voice low. “It’s me – Barney. I’ve come back to rescue you.”
“Oh, Barney!” There was a flicker of soft radiance in one of the darkest niches of the room, and Mary came into view and glided towards him.
At the sight of her Barney felt a pang of desire which almost frightened him with its intensity. He was impelled towards her, but stopped short of actual contact, partly because he was afraid of offending her innate modesty, partly because of the startled expression on her face.
“Mr Haggle did poison you,” she gasped. “I had hoped that part was untrue, that he was only taunting me.”
“It was true, all right,” Barney said. “The little swine gave me a lethal dose of something. I don’t care about that, though – it didn’t stop me coming back for you.”
“But you are a ghost – just as I am.”
“I know.” Barney got an impression that Mary was not as pleased to see him as she ought to have been. “What difference does that make?”
“What difference? You were not able to open that door when you were alive,” Mary said, a note of asperity creeping into her voice. “How do you propose to do it now that you are dead?”