“Don’t try to mitigate it or tell me what kind of deal it is, okay? Don’t even talk to me in that pleading, whiny voice. Just shut up.”
McCaleb walked to the stern, pressing his thighs against the padded combing. His back to Lockridge, he looked up the hillside above the commercial part of the little town. He could see his house. Graciela was on the deck holding the baby. She waved and then held Cielo’s hand up in a baby wave. McCaleb waved back.
“What do you want me to do?” Buddy said from behind him. His voice was more controlled now. “What do you want me to say? I won’t do it again? Fine, I won’t do it again.”
McCaleb didn’t turn around. He continued looking up at his wife and his daughter.
“It doesn’t matter what you won’t do again. The damage is done. I have to think about this. We’re partners as well as friends. Or we were, at least. All I want now is for you to just go. I’m going inside with Raymond. Take the skiff and go back to the pier. Take a ferry back tonight. I just don’t want you around here, Buddy. Not now.”
“How will you guys get back to the pier?”
It was a desperate question with an obvious answer.
“I’ll call the water taxi.”
“We’ve got a charter next Saturday. It’s five people and -”
“I’ll worry about Saturday when I come to it. I can cancel it if I have to or turn it over to Jim Hall’s charter.”
“Terry, are you sure about this? All I did was -”
“I’m sure. Go on, Buddy. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
McCaleb turned from the view and walked past Lockridge and to the salon door. He opened it and stepped in, then slid the door closed behind him. He didn’t look back at Buddy. He went to the chart table and got an envelope out of the drawer. He slipped a five-dollar bill from his pocket into it, sealed it and wrote Raymond’s name on it.
“Hey, Raymond where are you?” he called out.
For dinner they had grilled cheese sandwiches and chili. The chili was from the Busy Bee. McCaleb had picked it up on his way up from the boat with Raymond.
McCaleb sat across the table from his wife with Raymond to his left and the baby to his right in a jumper seat perched on the table. They were eating inside as an evening fog had enshrouded the island in a chilly grip. McCaleb remained morosely quiet through the meal, as he had been through much of the day. When they had come back early, Graciela decided to keep her distance. She took Raymond for a hike in the Wrigley Botanical Garden in Avalon Canyon. McCaleb was left with the baby, who fussed most of the day. He didn’t mind, though. It took his mind off things.
Finally, at dinner, there was no avoiding each other. McCaleb had made the sandwiches so he was the last to sit down. He had barely begun eating when Graciela asked him what his trouble was.
“Nothing,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“Raymond said you and Buddy had an argument.”
“Maybe Raymond should mind his own business.”
He looked at the boy as he said this and Raymond looked down at his food.
“That’s not fair, Terry,” Graciela said.
She was right. McCaleb knew it. He reached over and tousled the boy’s hair. It was so soft. He liked doing it. He hoped the gesture conveyed his apology.
“I’m off the case because Buddy leaked it to a reporter.”
“What?”
“We came up – I came up – with a suspect. A cop. Buddy overheard me telling Jaye Winston about my findings. He turned around and told a reporter. The reporter turned around and started making calls. Jaye and her captain think I was the leak.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Why would Buddy do that?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say. Actually, he did say. He said he didn’t think I’d care or that it mattered. Words to that effect. That was today on the boat.”
He gestured toward Raymond, meaning this was the tense conversation he had caught part of and told Graciela about.
“Well, did you call Jaye and tell her it was him?”
“No, it doesn’t matter. It came through me. I was dumb enough to let him on the boat. Can we talk about something else? I’m tired of thinking and talking about this.”
“Fine, Terry, what else do you want to talk about?”
He was silent. She was silent. After a long moment he started to laugh.
“I can’t think of anything right now.”
Graciela finished eating a bite of her sandwich. McCaleb looked over at Cielo, who was looking at a blue-and-white ball that was suspended over her on a wire attached to the side of her bouncer seat. She was trying to reach for it with her tiny hands but couldn’t quite make it. McCaleb could see her getting frustrated and he understood the feeling.
“Raymond, tell your father what you saw today in the gardens,” Graciela said.
She had recently begun referring to McCaleb as Raymond’s father. They had adopted him but McCaleb didn’t want to put any pressure on the boy to think of or refer to him as his father. Raymond usually called him Terry.
“We saw a Channel Islands fox,” he said now. “It was hunting in the canyon.”
“I thought foxes hunted at night and slept during the day.”
“Well, somebody woke him up then because we saw him. He was big.”
Graciela nodded, confirming the sighting.
“Pretty cool,” McCaleb said. “Too bad you didn’t get a picture.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Graciela used her napkin to clean spittle off the baby’s chin.
“Anyway,” McCaleb said, “I’m sure you’re happy that I’m off it and things will be normal around here again.”
Graciela looked at him.
“I want you to be safe. I want the whole family to be together and safe. That’s what makes me happy, Terry.”
He nodded and finished his sandwich. She continued.
“I want you to be happy but if that means working these cases, then that is a conflict with your personal well-being as far as your health is concerned and the well-being of this family.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I don’t think anybody will come calling on me again after this.”
He got up to clear the table. But before picking up plates he leaned over his daughter’s chair and bent the wire so that the blue-and-white ball would be within her reach.
“It’s not supposed to be like that,” Graciela said.
McCaleb looked at her.
“Yes, it is.”
Chapter 29
McCaleb stayed up into the early morning hours with the baby. He and Graciela alternated nights on duty so that at least one of them got a decent night of sleep. Cielo seemed to have an almost hourly feed clock. Each time she awoke he would feed her and walk her through the dark house. He would gently pat her back until he heard her burp and then he would put her down again. In an hour the process would begin again.
After each cycle McCaleb would walk through the house and check the doors. It was a nervous habit, his routine. The house, by virtue of being up on the hillside, was fogged in tight. Looking through the rear windows, he couldn’t even see the lights of the pier down below. He wondered if the fog stretched across the bay to the mainland. Harry Bosch’s house was up high. He wondered if he was standing at his window looking into the misty nothingness as well.
In the morning Graciela took the baby and McCaleb, exhausted from the night and everything else, slept until eleven. When he came to he found the house to be quiet. In his T-shirt and boxer shorts he wandered down the hall and found the kitchen and family room empty. Graciela had left a note on the kitchen table saying she had taken the children to St. Catherine’s for the ten o’clock service and then to the market afterward. The note said they’d be back by noon.
McCaleb went to the refrigerator and got out the gallon jug of orange juice. He poured a full glass and then took his keys off the counter and went back into the hallway to the locking cabinet. He opened it up and got out a plastic Ziploc bag containing a morning dose of the drug therapy that kept him alive. The first of every month he and Graciela carefully put together the doses and put them in plastic bags marked with dates and whether they were the A.M. or P.M. dosage. It made it easier than having to open dozens of pill bottles twice a day.