“Let me repeat myself.” His voice grew thick with fury, each word spat like a venom-tipped arrow. “Why in the fuck would I do that?” A muscle in his temple throbbed. “When your demand proves what’s so plainly visible on your hand and in your behavior.”
“I ask for his freedom because it doesn’t make sense for you to do so. He’s your enemy. My husband.” I lifted my chin at the low snarl coming from him, allowing myself to only feel a smidgen of fear. I could control that. My tone. Him. The eather. The learned instinct was like slipping on a gown that only felt a little too tight, and it was so obvious to me then that I hadn’t fully become nothing until right now. “My husband, whom I love but am not in love with. I wouldn’t do anything for him, but will you do anything for me?”
“I think that should be obvious,” he spat. “Considering I killed my brother to bring you back to life and then spent what has felt like eons searching for you.”
“But I don’t remember any of that.”
His nostrils flared. “Do you remember me not killing you after you stabbed me? Should that not be proof enough?”
“No.”
Kolis’s eyes went wide. “And why not?”
“Because not killing someone you love is the bare minimum. That’s not doing anything for them,” I told him, thinking this was something I’d never thought I would actually have to explain to someone. “No matter what you have to gain from their death.”
He snapped his jaw shut.
“But freeing Nyktos?” I picked up my glass and rose.
Kolis took a step back from me.
I could barely hide my smile. “That is something you don’t want to do, but you would be doing it simply to please me.”
“And why would that please you?”
“As I said, I love him. I don’t want to see any harm come to him,” I reasoned, more calmly than I’d ever done in my entire life. I crossed to the table and boldly turned my back on Kolis. “I don’t want to have to worry about him, and I will. And that has nothing to do with love.”
I picked up the decanter and pulled out the stopper. “He protected me, even before I became his Consort.” I filled a glass for myself and then poured Kolis one. Hopefully, he wouldn’t destroy this flute. “You’ve endangered me.”
“I have done no—”
“But you have.” Holding the glasses, I faced him. Kolis hadn’t moved from where he stood near the divan. “But you also didn’t know who I was. I didn’t either, not for a long time.” I offered him the glass.
He hesitated but then took it.
“Anyway, I don’t think I can fall in love with another if I’m worrying about the one I do love,” I said, taking a sip of the fruity water.
“And why would you be interested in…falling in love?” Kolis demanded, the hollows of his cheeks flushed.
“Because I’ve never known what it’s like to be in love and to be loved in return—” My voice cracked, as did the vessel I’d become. Closing my eyes, I turned my head and waited until the burn of the truth eased. The sting didn’t fade completely because what I’d said was true, and no matter how empty I made myself, I could still feel that agony. “I would like to know how that feels.”
There was silence, and then the air around me stirred. My heart skipped a beat as I opened my eyes.
Kolis stood less than a foot from me. “This feels like a manipulation,” he said. “But the pain I just witnessed was real.” A moment passed, then his voice lowered. “Why would you want to love me?”
Man, wasn’t that a damn good question? A very loaded one, with so many reasons why I could never, ever love him.
But Kolis didn’t want to hear that.
It wasn’t what he needed from me.
I watched the bubbles in the water fizz as I racked my brain for what I knew about Kolis. It wasn’t much, but I did know why he’d frightened Sotoria so badly that she fell from a cliff in her attempt to escape him.
“Relate to him,” the Mistresses of the Jade had instructed. “Form a shared commonality. Be sympathetic, but do not show pity.”
“I…I was never wanted as a child, not beyond what my mother believed I could do for her kingdom,” I said slowly, hoarsely. “You likely already know that, but I was an outcast in my own home and avoided. Some even feared me. No one wanted to touch me.”
The glass I’d given Kolis sat untouched on the table. He watched, not even blinking.
“I suppose we have that in common,” I said. “And maybe from that commonality, love can blossom.”
His head twisted sharply to the side, away from me. “But only if I first release the man you already love?”
“Yes.”
Kolis’s chin dipped an inch, his voice a whisper of nightmares. “Do you think I’m a fool?”
A niggle of fear found its way in, but I squashed it. “If you weren’t, then I’d know you’re not in love with me. Being in love with someone makes you do incredibly idiotic things.”
“Idiotic enough to forget that you tried to kill me already?” he asked.
“I’ve stabbed Nyktos,” I shared. “So…”
Kolis blinked. “You stabbed Nyktos?”
“Yep. Held a dagger to his throat, too.” I took a drink as the false King openly gaped at me. “I’ve also threatened him more times than I can even begin to recall.”
He gave a slow shake of his head. “You are…not what I expected.”
I snorted. “You aren’t the first to say that.”
His frown deepened. “What will happen exactly once I free Nyktos? What will that change?”
Hope sparked, but I would not let that little fucker grow. “I won’t fight you.”
“Explain,” he ordered impatiently.
“I won’t try to escape.” That was a lie. “I won’t run from you.”
He inhaled sharply. “You will…submit to me?”
The feeling of thorns pricking my skin went up and down my body. I tried to get my mouth to form words, but I couldn’t. Well, I’d been wrong again. My canvas wasn’t as blank as I needed it to be. Apparently, even I had my limits. “I will not fight you, Kolis.” I finished off the bubbly water. “Do we have a deal?”
The false Primal of Life studied me intently and a little warily. “We do.”
Relief almost took me to my knees—almost.
“But only if you speak the truth about Sotoria and how you feel. I will find out. All your truths.” He smiled. “And if you’re lying?” He retrieved his glass. “I believe you know what will happen.”
My throat dried. I remembered what he’d said. “There will be no end to the atrocities committed upon me and those I care about.”
Kolis’s smile spread. “In both life and for you in death,” he said. “I will take your soul, and it will be mine.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
It was the following afternoon—or was it early evening? I couldn’t be sure. Sunlight had filled the windows when I fell asleep, and it was there once more upon waking.
I hadn’t dreamt of Ash again or the lake. I hadn’t dreamt at all.
Now, I was seated at the small dining table, staring at the platters of food. A bowl of soup and a heaping plate of eggs and crisp vegetables had been brought to me earlier, but an entire feast had been laid out now—beef, chicken, and roasted duck, sitting among bowls of vegetables and fruits dusted with sugar. There were also pitchers of three different types of refreshments. Another line of quiet, veiled Chosen had served the food while Callum supervised. Then, the Chosen left.