The C train appeared and screeched to a stop. Nan and Yafang stepped onto it. Only a few passengers were aboard, some of them nodding off. Nan and Yafang sat down near a corner. "How did it happen?" he asked her.
"He tricked me."
"How? I don't mean to be nosy. I never thought he could be so dangerous. He's such a wispy man."
"Three days ago Howard's daughters worked at the restaurant, so Heng Chen and I were both off for a day. We live in the same area, and he said he'd like to take me to the movies in the evening. I asked him what pictures were good. He said, 'Have you seen adult movies?' 'No,' I said. I had no idea they were porno flicks. I thought they must be something too serious for kids to understand. So he took me to a place nearby. We saw how Americans were having sex. I'd never seen that kind of thing before and was astonished and, to be honest, also fascinated. In the dark Heng Chen began to caress me, and I didn't know how to resist him, too ashamed to make any noise. Afterward we went to his apartment." She sobbed and blew her nose. Her face suddenly aged, lines appearing under her cheeks. She went on, "I was excited and never knew there were so many ways of doing it. Heng Chen said he was good at it and could teach me how to make love. I tried to reject his advances, but he begged me, saying, 'We're all drifters in this country and ought to help each other. It's just like you have food in your pantry while I'm starving. Sex can help you forget your misery and loneliness, can make you happy.' All of a sudden he became so talkative and so piteous that I was touched. I felt sorry for him and let him have his way. He was like a wild beast, even bit and pinched me, and he wouldn't let me go until after midnight. But it was too late for me to return to my place by myself, so I slept in his living room. He wanted me to share his bed, but I refused. I stole out of his apartment at daybreak."
Nan remained silent, not knowing what to say. She had gone to Heng's bedroom of her own accord, though no doubt he had planned to seduce her. Her story upset Nan, as he realized that those who were wounded would in turn wound others. It was hard for him to imagine that Heng, a timid man in appearance, could be so bold and so vile.
"What should I do?" Yafang asked him. "I don't know."
"If this had taken place back home, I could've asked my brother and his friends to beat him up, but here I don't know anybody. In fact, I've told only you what happened. You're a good man I can trust. Tell me, do you think he raped me?"
Amazed, Nan massaged the corners of his eyes with his fingertips, then put down his hand and said, "In reality he did, but it will be hard to prove because you went to the movies with him and entered his bedroom. He can say you two had a date and the sex was consensual. It will be your story against his story."
She sobbed again, this time louder. Nan put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Don't be so sad. In this place we have to be tough, and have to endure a lot of humiliation. Sometimes you even have to swallow a tooth knocked off your gum."
" But I never thought my fellow countryman would…do…do this to me!" she panted.
"A man like him, not daring to hurt whites or blacks, can only turn on the Chinese." He removed his hand from her shoulder and sighed.
" Can you come and stay with me tonight? " she asked, and her eyes dimmed. "I feel so lonely, also frightened. Nobody cares about me here. My roommates are not in tonight and the apartment feels deserted. Please come with me. I'll be nice to you."
"Yafang, you're too emotional to think clearly. You're a good woman and will recover from this. I can't go to your place tonight. That will amount to taking advantage of you, and later you'll despise me. "
She nodded, her head hanging low. "You misunderstood me. I meant to invite you to stay in our living room. I'd just want to have someone in my apartment. I'm scared."
"Forgive me for what I said then, but I can't come with you."
"I understand."
"Don't tell others about what happened to you unless you absolutely trust them. If you can't help it, call home and talk to your siblings."
"That I can't do. They'll tell my parents. So far I've always told them everything is excellent here."
"Then you can call me if you want to talk." "Thanks. I might."
She got off at Kingston-Throop avenues, dragging her feet away as if her body were suddenly too heavy for her.
That night Nan reviewed Yafang's story in his mind. He felt low and somewhat regretted not having gone with her, but he feared he might get entangled with her too deeply. His life was already a quagmire. At this point he didn't want to be involved with another woman, and he had to concentrate on his own survival and that of his family. The more he thought, the more tormented he was by the notion Pingping had often expressed, namely that it was more dangerous to mix with your own people than with strangers. Yafang's trouble proved that. Many of their compatriots here were desperate and wouldn't hesitate to harm one another. In Heng Chen's case, there must have been more to it than just taking advantage of Yafang. His wife's betrayal might have turned him into a misogynist. No, not exactly. He obviously still lusted after women. Perhaps he was so desperate and so cornered that he couldn't help but move fast to seduce a young woman. But afraid of lawsuits and retaliation, he could only prey on a new arrival from their native land.
Yafang never phoned Nan. At work she was polite to him but remained aloof. Nan knew he must have hurt her pride, and she might have felt he had left her in the lurch. He noticed that she talked a lot with Aimin and Chinchin. Several times he caught her wistful eyes glancing at him, but whenever he joined their conversation, she'd turn taciturn. She seemed to avoid speaking to him, though she did tell him that she very much enjoyed the issues of New Lines he had given her.
12
MR. LIU called and said his wife, Shaoya, had completed a short story. He wondered whether New Lines could use it. If they could, he would send it along right away. Nan told him, "By all means, we'd love to see it. What's it about?"
" About how hard a Chinese woman works in an underground sweatshop in New York."
"That's good. We probably can run it."
"Should I mail it to you?"
"No need. I'm going to the print center tomorrow morning, and I can stop by and pick it up. That will save you the postage."
"Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Nan. I'll see you then." Mr. Liu sounded tired, as though he'd lost some of his voice.
Nan told Bao about Shaoya's story. They both believed they should publish it provided she was willing to resume her pen name, Purple Lilac; yet they couldn't make the final decision until they had read it. Bao kept saying this was a good sign: some fiction might bolster the circulation of the journal.
The next morning Nan went to the Lius'. It took him a good while to find their apartment, because he wandered into a neighboring tenement that looked identical. Finally, as he was approaching the correct entrance, he heard a woman screaming in Chinese, but he couldn't make out her words. A black man ran out of the stairwell and almost barreled into Nan, who stepped aside to let him pass. The front of the man's canary yellow pullover bore the large words sick of it all! He nodded at Nan and sauntered away. Nan went to unit 127, and the female voice was intelligible now-it was Shaoya's.
"I've worked myself half to death to make the money while you just threw it away right and left," she shouted. "I didn't mean to," came Mr. Liu's tamed voice. "You must pay it back."