On the way back, I asked the guys to drive us over to Hoosick Street. I had them drop me off out front of the Canty-Hammett Hot Spot. They were nervous about leaving me, but I wasn't. I was the only white face in the place, but I just walked up to the bar and sat down on a stool. "Can I get a beer?", I asked.
The black bartender looked me over curiously. "What do you want?"
"What's on tap? You got a Budweiser?", I asked.
He shrugged and silently poured me a glass. I pulled out my wallet and laid a five on the bar. He left it there and just watched me. I drank some beer as the room watched me. "Is Mister Canty or Mister Hammett in?"
The bartender nodded. "I'm Ron Canty. What do you want?"
"Nice to meet you, sir. If you could just sign one of these bar napkins for me, I'll finish my beer and get out of your way." I slid a napkin towards him from a pile at the end of the bar.
He rolled his eyes and snorted with laughter. "What is this, another frat stunt?"
"Yes, sir, that is exactly what it is!" I finished my beer and pushed it forward for a refill.
He refilled my glass and slid it back. "This is one of them silly ass white boy things, ain't it?"
I stuck my hand out. "Carl Buckman, silly ass white boy. How you doing, sir?"
He laughed at that and signed a bar napkin. I stuck it in my pocket and finished my beer, thanked him again, and left. Outside, I found my keepers nervously standing around the car, worried I was being mugged in the all black bar. I handed them the napkin and climbed into the car. I was also given five demerits for drinking.
I wasn't the only one to catch demerits, of course, and Tuesday night we discovered egregiously bad behavior amongst the neos. Jerry Modanowicz had flipped the bird to a brother on campus. As punishment, he was to paint the offending digit Wednesday morning, in shades of magenta and gold. In response, we all painted our middle fingers magenta with gold fingernails, although we almost had to tie Barry Lewis down to get him to agree. This was considered a sign of superior moral character by the brothers, by the way!Meanwhile, a different form of punishment was being meted out to us. During our hours of sleep, hidden loudspeakers were blasting "The Morning After", the sickeningly sweet theme song from last year's The Poseidon Adventure over and over at us. We started singing it back until they realized we couldn't be broken, and they stopped.
Thank God the professors knew what was happening. No tests or assignments were given to anyone that week, since this was happening to hundreds of us all over campus. Every frat did Hell Week the same week. The only time we had to sleep was in class, and the only time the teachers complained was when we started snoring.
It got seriously weird Wednesday night. We were asked if we had our new maps of Danbury, and then we were blindfolded and handcuffed, and then loaded into the back of a panel truck. We drove for what seemed like hours, but it was actually only about fifteen minutes before the truck stopped. We were let out and lined up, our handcuffs removed, and finally we were left standing in a row. After about five minutes, a voice behind us cried out, "What the fuck are you assholes waiting for?" We slowly took our blindfolds off and found we were at the edge of a parking lot facing the Hudson River. We all looked around and saw that behind us, across the street, one of the brothers was waving to us from the door of a bar. Nobody knew what was going on, but we ran across the street. The brothers were all buying us beer, as much as we wanted, and we all got wasted.
Thursday night we had to give our reports on the tasks assigned to us. Leo reported how many Coglans the Hoosick Bridge was long, including sub-Coglan units, like Coglanarms and Coglandhands. I presented the 44G bra and gave the measurements and counts of girls. The supervising brothers gave out with various humorous anecdotes about our performances.
Thursday night we also presented the results of our scavenger hunt. Not everything was found, but a surprising amount was. One of the deans was a brother from the chapter at Union College and donated a few mustache hairs. A cop in Green Island was a brother and was married to a stripper. It seemed that for the last few days brothers had been dropping hints on where to find things, if we were just smart enough to listen.
We were then given a few more hours of sleep and sent off to campus in the morning, with instructions to return that night, Friday night, at 7:00 PM, wearing our suits. By now totally confused and mystified, and totally exhausted, we went off to classes.
We were back at Kegs that night, and from the outside, the house looked dark and sinister. No lights could be seen through the windows. The Hell Master, Hank Barlow, greeted us at the back door. "From now until you leave, there is to be utter silence. Nothing can be said, and utter obedience is expected. As I call out your names, you will enter and stand in line. Obey and be silent."
Everybody looked at each other, with the one single thought - 'What the fuck is going on?!'
"Bruno Cowling!", intoned Bill. Bruno looked at the rest of us, shrugged in confusion, and went inside. Bill looked down at a slip of paper, and said, "Barry Lewis!" Barry followed Bruno inside. All of us were announced, in no order we could figure out. I was two from the last, and only followed by Tony Defrancisco and Andy Kowalchuk. I found the others all standing silently in the back hallway.
It was obvious why the place looked sinister. Black curtains had been hung over every first floor window, and over every archway between rooms on the first floor. It was actually kind of creepy. I could smell something cooking in the kitchen, but that was curtained off also. Hank followed Andy inside and went to the front of the line. "Follow and obey in silence." He moved slowly down the hallway, and after a second of confusion, Bruno moved along after him. Our little line moved through the dining room, down the front hall, and into the formal room.
It got stranger. Inside the formal room, the folding dining room tables had been set up end to end and covered with black tablecloths. The only light in the room was from the candles burning on every table. On one side of the string of tables were our big brothers, and I noticed how, as we streamed in and down the length of the tables, each pledge's big brother was already in position opposite him. The upper classmen were all dressed in suits themselves, and were standing in place, with chairs behind them. We had chairs behind us. Hank sat at the end of the table, and I saw Thad, the Chancellor, following behind, and he took a seat at the other end of the table.
Defrancisco, the big lummox, promptly moved to sit down, but I noticed nobody else was moving, and Tony's big brother was giving him a dirty look. I nudged him with my elbow and he stopped, looking at me in confusion. On the tables before us were silverware place settings and an empty wine glass. Thad picked up his knife and tapped his wine glass, causing it to ring, and suddenly all the big brothers moved to sit down, and indicated we should also. We were still silent as we sat in our assigned seating.
Everybody was looking curiously at the place settings. The fork was in its normal position on the left, but there was a steak knife on the right, and it was upside down, facing outwards and pointed at you. Everybody put their hands in their laps except Defrancisco, who picked up his knife. Marty looked at me and rolled his eyes, and I had to nudge Tony again. It looked like I was the idiot's keeper.
Next, Hank rapped his wine glass, and fifteen other brothers marched out from the hallway, all wearing dark pants and white shirts and looking like extras in a Mafia movie. Each of them had a bottle of champagne, and after lining up behind us, all bent forward at once and filled our glasses. Defrancisco moved to grab his but I nudged him and he backed away. Glasses were then filled across the table. We continued to sit there, and the waiters retreated, but then returned with a spoon in each hand. One spoon held a strawberry, and this was ceremoniously dropped in the big brother's glasses. The second spoon held a frozen pea, which was dropped in our glasses. The waiters retired, and after Thad tapped his glass, the big brothers picked up their glasses and motioned for us to do the same. Tony drank his right down, even though everyone else waited for Thad and Hank to drink. I looked at Marty and Jack Jones, Tony's big brother and shrugged. The moron just couldn't take a hint.