After a bit I just slumped back in my chair. "This all makes so much sense when you explain it this way! I could talk for hours about what I've seen, but it fits."
"Well, as I said, aside from the hallucinations, which aren't mentioned here at all, he has all the classic signs. For what it's worth, it's not a terribly serious case, at least as these things go. Your brother seems to be functional and stable, at least as long as you aren't in the picture."
"And if I was?"
Janet gave me a perplexed look and held her hands up in the air. "Then all bets are off. Your brother's delusions, in their totality, relate to you. If you are around, his hostility will increase and his disorganized thought processes will become more disorganized."
"I moved out when I was 16, and by then I was sleeping in the family room and locking him in his room at nights. He was starting to get violent, at least towards my possessions."
"If you had stayed, he might have gotten violent towards you."
I just shook my head. I knew the answer to the next question, but I had to ask it anyway. "Is there any kind of cure?"
"No, not really. Again, for what it's worth, your brother is relatively stable and functional. There are some antipsychotic drugs, but the effects are uneven. He may stabilize and improve as he gets older. The fact is we can diagnose it, but we don't know what causes it, and we don't have a cure. There's a lot of research being done, though. Maybe we'll know more in a few years."
Or maybe not. By the time I rerouted back, they had some new drugs, but still no cause or cure.
I stood up. "Well, that explains a lot. I guess I'm never going home again."
"John mentioned you had moved away from home years ago, and you said the same to me. I'm sorry to hear that, but is it that important anymore?", she asked.
"No. It just hurts, you know, knowing they prefer the crazy one instead of me. I guess that's just the way it worked out, Doctor." I shrugged. Nothing was going to get better about this, so I just needed to get on with my life.
"If you ever need to talk, not just about your brother, but about anything, you know how to reach me. I won't tell John."
"Thanks, Doc." I took the report back and shook her hand, and then went back to Kegs. I needed a drink, but not to get drunk. I didn't need that kind of problem. I'd end up as nutty as Hamilton!
Chapter 45: Hazing
Over Christmas I stayed with Marilyn in Utica. Christmas Day I got Big Bob alone in the kitchen and asked for Marilyn's hand in marriage. She knew what I was going to do, and wanted to be with me, but I said it was a guy thing and asked him alone. I was just about as nervous as when I did it that first time. Big Bob said yes, although I knew he wasn't thrilled with me. Marilyn squealed when I came back out and sent her upstairs to get the jewelry box with the ring in it. It was a one carat flawless and perfect cut solitaire on a simple white gold mounting. I made sure to have it insured, since she was bound to lose it sooner or later.
That winter we didn't travel anywhere. Marilyn needed to stay and study, and I needed to work on my dissertation. We kept up with the trips to Lake George, though, all through the winter.
I knew things were going too smoothly to last. A couple of months later, at the end of March, I drove back down from Lake George on Sunday, just after lunch. I knew I had missed Sunday supper, so I simply went up the back stairs and down the hallway to our room off the landing. Joe was surprisingly quiet when I came in, and then he left. He returned a couple of minutes later bringing Buddy Ebbits and George Dukoski with him.
I was still unpacking when Buddy announced, "We had a problem while you were away."
I looked over at them. "Oh?" Buddy was the Pledge Master, and George was scheduled to be the Hell Master. It had to be something with the Pledges.
Buddy and George looked at each other, as if to ask who was going to admit it. He just nodded. "I didn't find out about it until it was over."
George added, "I was over in Grogans', so I never knew about it." He looked very embarrassed at this.
"Knew about what?" I looked over at Joe, but he had spent the weekend away, too.
"The Dregs got loose. Friday night, while all the pledges were hanging out, the Dregs got drunk and made the pledges crawl around on the floor.", said Buddy.
"They did what?"
"I heard it was worse than that.", said my roommate. I looked at him for a second, and then turned back to Buddy and George.
Buddy dropped into the chair at my desk. "From what I've heard, Boris, the Hammer, and Ghormley got it into their peabrains that since pledges had never been laid, they needed to experience sex, so they made them get undressed, put their underwear on their heads, and crawl on their bellies up the stairs. Somehow this was to simulate working their way up through a cock. Don't ask me to explain it. I don't understand it."
"When did this happen?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Friday night."
"And you guys let these idiots do this? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!?", I exploded.
"Hey, I didn't even know about it. I was over in Grogans'.", replied George.
"It was a quiet night. Most of us were down at Crows. They were having a party.", said Buddy lamely.
"Christ! How many of the pledges did they get to do this?"
"Uh, about eight or nine, I think."
"You think? You don't know? Jesus H. Fucking Christ! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW!?"
Buddy cringed at this, so George answered. "It looks like there were nine pledges in the house. Afterwards they all took off and left to go back to the dorms. They've all heard about it by now."
"And?" I knew there had to be more to this.
"Six have dropped out of the pledge class." He gave me the names. "Three who were here and three who missed it."
I just stared for a second. Six out of an incoming class of fourteen. That was an almost 50% drop. This was not good. The last two classes had been relatively small. We needed a big class to keep the numbers up.
Everybody pays 'dues' to live in the house. This is about 90% room and board, with the balance for various social items and random requirements. It's like any business, where you meet your requirements with a certain level of occupancy. Anything above that gives you additional funds. It's also a battle between overcrowding and cash. Sophomore year we had 37 brothers living in and were crowded, but we had plenty of cash for parties and rush activities and decent meals. Since then the number of brothers had been dropping. Lots of guys had single rooms (excellent for getting laid) but cash was tight. We were down to about 30 brothers. If 6 guys dropped out, it would be down into the mid-20s, and that's a problem. All of your money is going to room and board, you still need to raise dues, and you don't have enough cash to recruit or rush. It becomes a vicious circle. Not enough brothers means not enough dues means there's no money to recruit new brothers and the number just starts dropping for another round.
"Six? You have got to be shitting me! This just keeps getting better and better!"
By now, a few of the other guys in the house had stuck their heads in the door and weighed in on the problem. It sounded just about as bad as it could get. After a bit more, with everyone explaining that they weren't around to do anything, I announced that there would be a formal house meeting that night, even though it wasn't scheduled, and threw them all out to pass the word.