Now, I simply savored it.
Chapter 91: Oprah
At the end of October our literary agent called. Our book had "tested well" (whatever the hell that meant) and the initial publication run had been increased. Now they wanted to do a book tour, and wanted to schedule us for this. So far we had been conversing on a conference call, but at this I scratched my head and asked the agent to take the train down with details. Then I called Harry down at UMBC and asked him what he thought about this.
"Well, I can't do it! It's the end of the semester and I can't just break away for weeks at a time!", he protested.
"I figured you would say that.", I replied. "Let's talk to this fellow and see what he says. Maybe I can break free for a few days. Have you ever done anything like this before?"
"No, never.", he replied.
"Me neither."
The next day the agent showed up and we met in Harry's office at UMBC. The plan was to release the book officially on October 27, a Tuesday, and we would start our tour by the end of the week. Harry and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Nothing like a little warning! That was next week! The tour was to start on the east coast and work its way west, and last about two weeks.
"This is crazy! I have classes! I can't just leave for two weeks!", protested Harry.
I nodded. I pulled a calendar off of Harry's wall and started reviewing the time frame. "You have us starting this tour on Friday the 30th and going for two weeks." That would take us through the 13th, although they might keep it going if it went well.
"Uh...", the agent stammered.
"Let me see your proposed schedule.", I asked. He handed it over and I looked it over. "How definite is this?" We had television and radio interviews in Boston, New York, Cleveland, Chicago, St. Louis, Denver, Seattle, San Francisco, and LA, with a few other places penciled in the margins. San Antonio, Atlanta, and Miami were noted as possibilities towards the end of the schedule.
"What about Baltimore and Washington?", asked Harry. "I could do those, I suppose, if the timing was right."
"Those were secondary markets.", commented the agent.
"Secondary to publishing, maybe, but Washington is a primary market for the type of people who will be reading this book.", I replied. "Let me ask you, what's a typical day for one of these things?"
"Well, normally you would fly to the city the night before. The next morning we try and have you do a morning talk show on the radio. After that, a book signing at a local bookstore, the bigger the better, then maybe another radio show or a local television station to be interviewed by one of the local people. Maybe another book signing after that. In New York and LA we'll try and get you on one of the late night shows. Then, after that, you fly to the next stop."
"And who does this? Do we both have to be there?", I asked. I knew that this could help sales of the book, but Harry had a real dilemma with timing.
"Oh, no, we only need one at each location. In your case, we could split you up and have you do different parts of the country."
"Okay. So do you go with us? Does somebody meet us at each location? How does that work?", I pressed.
The agent started going over the mechanics of it all. No, nobody would travel with us. That would be too expensive and time consuming. We would get a schedule, and fly from city to city, take a cab from the airport, and stay in a local hotel. The rule was to travel cheap and save your receipts. We would get a daily budget - and allowance.
I rubbed my face with my hand. I looked over at Harry. "I'll let you do anything local or in DC. I'll handle the travel parts, but I am calling the limit at two weeks. Anything after that, and you can travel." I turned back to the agent. "Get the schedule finalized and sent to me as soon as possible and I'll have my travel agent set up my flights. With any luck, in New York and on the west coast I'll be able to schedule some visits with some outfits I do business with. Any chance you can simply give me a lump sum payment based on the per diem allowance?"
That took him by surprise. "That would be very unusual! What if your charges are less than that?"
I barked out a short laugh. "Trust me, they won't be."
"How can you be sure?", he asked.
I shook my head and smiled. "Because charter flights cost more than the per diem you'll be allowing, and I won't be catching cabs or staying at the Best Western. I'm not doing this for the money, but just so the book gets out there and noticed. This is important." The funny thing was just how much I believed it, too. I had always believed in the importance of infrastructure, and now, after going through Harry's work and the other reports I had read, it meant even more to me.
"The money's not important to you?", he asked, confused.
I shook my head. "I don't think I ever mentioned this at the beginning, but any of my share of the proceeds I'll be donating to the Red Cross. I assume you can handle this?"
"Exactly what do you do?"
I gave him an odd look at this. I had provided him the same bland biography we provided everybody, but he obviously never connected the dots. "I'm president of the Buckman Group. We're an investment company. I thought you knew that."
"Well, yes, but you're listed as Doctor Buckman, along with Doctor Johnson."
"Right, I have a PhD in applied math from RPI. I thought you knew that already." I looked over at Harry and he just shrugged his shoulders back at me.
"So what is this Buckman Group? Do you work for your family or something?"
Oh, Lord! "Let me make this very simple for you. It's my company. We're an investment firm and do private equity and investment deals. I am worth about three quarters of a billion dollars. I'll have my staff handle the transportation details. With any luck, I'll be able to meet some clients and investors in my off hours."
"You're worth a three quarters of a billion dollars?", asked an incredulous Harry Johnson.
"There's no need to bow to me, Harry. Kissing my ring will suffice." I turned back to the agent, who was just staring at me. "It's not that big a deal. I'll have my travel agent arrange for a small plane to fly me around, a car and driver in each city, and a decent hotel room. If there are any changes to the schedule, get them to her. I'll give her a heads up when I get back to the office."
"How come nobody's ever heard of you?", asked the agent.
"Because I don't advertise. We're not a public company. We're very private." It amused me at times. I had qualified to be on the Forbes 400 list for the last three years, but they had never twigged to me. That probably wouldn't last, but as long as it did, I would enjoy the anonymity. Besides, I was way down the list. My friend, Bill Gates, was much higher up than I was.
He left shaking his head, and Harry and I chatted a little while longer. He had seen our operation, but never really understood the amounts of money tied up in the business. He asked about getting involved, but I told him the minimum buy-in to our pools was currently set at a fifty grand, and we weren't structured like Merrill Lynch or one of the other stock brokers. Then I told him it wasn't that big a deal. In many ways I still considered myself a mathematician.