"Now, who were you selling me to this afternoon, and why do I want to see them?" We talked about another fifteen minutes, and Chuck was fairly flustered the entire time. I could see him flipping through appointment slips that he was now going to have to cancel. Afterwards I brought in Sherry Longbottom to discuss upcoming legislation, and then Babs Brosinski, my Constituent Services Director, to discuss any problems back in the district. Babs, despite a name that suggested a ditzy blonde, was a tough-as-nails battleaxe brunette. I had brought Cheryl down for a day, and she had taken to Babs quickly, and they looked to be a good team for handling problems back in the Ninth.
Mid-afternoon, I got a phone call from Marty, who complained that I was an individual of low moral character, who was prone to lead innocent victims to a life of ruin. He didn't sound all that good, but he had been socking it away even more than I had. I chided him by saying I learned many of my dissolute habits from him, and then reminded him to call me next week and confirm his visit to the house.
That evening I went over to National and Tyrell flew me back to Westminster. I made it in the house before Dum-Dum figured out I was home, but she was so neurotically insistent on playing with me, I sat down in my chair and let her lick my face while I rubbed her belly. Marilyn came over to kiss me hello, and Dum-Dum decided to lick her face as well. "AAAAGGGHHH! Dog kisses!", Marilyn complained, sounding like Lucy Van Pelt.
I glanced around to make sure the kids were out of earshot. "I don't think it's the kisses so much as the tongue that bothers you."
"AAACCCKKK! That's so gross!"
I rubbed Dum-Dum's belly, and scooted her away. "French kissing a dog! That's a new low, even for you!"
"Keep it up, wise guy!" This time I gave her a real kiss, which calmed Marilyn down. Then the girls jumped into my lap, while Charlie smirked and rolled his eyes. He was now at a very old and wise point of life, nine going on ninety. The odds of his survival to ten were low, and dropping by the day.
Dinner was some leftover beef stew from the beginning of the week, and some fresh baked rolls. The stew was sort of blah (Marilyn can't cook) but the rolls were quite nice. After dinner we sent the kids packing and I told Marilyn about the next weekend. "I've got an old buddy coming next weekend. We don't have anything planned, right?"
"You're supposed to ask that first, and then make your plans.", I was told.
"Okay, do you have anything planned for next weekend?"
"Well, no."
"So can I have a friend over for a sleepover, Mom?!"
"You can be eliminated, you know! You sound like Charlie and his buddies. What if the kids invite somebody?", asked my wife.
"Then they can have a slumber party in their room. It's what they do, anyway."
Marilyn had to nod in agreement at that. "That's true enough. Who is it?"
"You'll never believe who I ran into the other day. Remember Marty Adrianopolis from Kegs?", I asked.
Marilyn looked suitably blank. "One of your old frat brothers? The name's not ringing any bells."
"Big guy, a couple of years ahead of me. He was my frat big brother." Marilyn still looked blank. "He was bartending with me the night we met. We used to bartend a lot."
That made her eyes light up. "Oh, yeah! Big guy, always flirting with me. Didn't we invite him to the wedding or something?"
I nodded. "Yeah, but he didn't make it. I don't remember if we even heard from him, but he was out of school two years by then. Have to ask him."
"Okay, I remember him now. What's he up to?" Marilyn stood to clean the table.
I stood as well, and we carried the dishes into the kitchen. I ended up leaning back against the island while she rinsed and washed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Me, I would have just stuck them in the dishwasher, but no that wouldn't have been doing it right. "He's a lobbyist, of all things. He sold his soul to Satan."
"When he comes, I'll tell him you said that."
"Yeah? Maybe I'll tell you what he said about you!"
"What!? He remembered me?"
"Not specifically. He just remembered the little brunette with the big tits I was banging..."
"HE DID NOT!"
I gave my wife a pious and innocent look. "Oh, yeah, he remembered because of all the noise you used to make. He told me they could hear you all the way over in Grogan's..."
"BULLSHIT!", she squawked, loud enough to attract the attention of the kids.
All three came in. "Mom?!" asked Charlie. I knew he couldn't quite believe his ears. Marilyn never swore in front of the kids.
I tried to keep a straight face, but wasn't succeeding very well. She looked daggers at me, and I was biting my lip. "Out!", she told them.
Charlie snickered and headed towards the living room.
Holly looked at her mother and said, "Mommy! You always tell us that if we say bad words, you're going to wash our mouths out with soap!"
Molly chimed in at that. "Do we need to wash your mouth out, Mommy?"
I was barely holding it together at this point. Marilyn glared at all of us, and pointed towards the living room. "OUT! ALL OF YOU! OUT!" The girls giggled and scampered away, followed closely by me. I was followed by a wet dishcloth. "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY!"
"What'd you say to Mom, Dad?", asked Charlie, once we were all out of the kitchen.
"None of your business. Feel free to ask her, though. She'll drop you in the pool and pull you out in the summer. It's your life, though."
Just then a loud clatter came from the kitchen. Charlie grinned and said, "I don't think so!"
"Discretion is the better part of valor.", I told him, which didn't really register. I grabbed a magazine from the end table and started reading in my recliner.
After finishing with the dishes, Marilyn came out of the kitchen, and I had to bite my lip all over again. "You think you're so funny!", she said to me, in a more normal tone.
I had to laugh. "You know, all those years ago, I told you that you'd get in trouble screaming like that."
"You are deluded!"
"I warned you that the Carl Buckman Experience was a life changing event."
Marilyn started laughing now, too. "In your dreams!"
I glanced around and saw that none of the kids were paying any attention to us. I smiled and responded, "I bet I can make you scream."
"Forget it!" I just gave her a confident look and a half smile. "Maybe. Later. If you think you're up for it!"
I grinned back. "Just remember, an artist does his best work on a fresh canvas! Maybe you need to clean up - all over! - to make sure you get the best result. That and dig out a gag, since I don't want your begging and screaming for more to scare the children."
That really made her laugh. "Bullshit!", she whispered to me.
I just waggled my eyebrows in return. "Just remember, I taught you everything you know, but not everything I know!"
Marilyn really laughed at that. On the plus side, shortly after the kids went to bed, Marilyn opened a bottle of wine and took a glass into the bedroom, and said she wanted to relax in the whirlpool bathtub. That meant to me that she was planning on a bubble bath and shaving her legs. I'd bring her in a refill after a bit, and then head to bed a little early, after she was done cleaning up.