For the next ten days or so, there was a steady stream of the high and the mighty traipsing through the Hay-Adams, all of whom were noted by Fox News as being considered for various positions, and this was all indicative of how the Governor was taking a hands on approach to these critical selections. How dare anybody dispute this!? In some ways, this wasn't helping Governor Bush. After anybody was reported meeting with Cheney and Bush, Rush Limbaugh's next show would discuss why they weren't appropriate. I was highlighted as an 'extreme liberal, a closet Democrat, who has bought his elections and shares the left wing Democratic agenda with his New York Democrat wife!'
Marilyn found this extremely funny, though she seemed less amused when he commented that she had obviously used my billions on extensive plastic surgery and a boob job! It was my turn to look at her curiously and ask to see the 'evidence.' The twins also wanted to know if their mother had implants, and wanted to know if they could have them, too. I snorted and bit my tongue and let their mother chew on them for a bit. Our daughters did not suffer from the curse of flat-chestedness. They were D-cups like their mother, without the enjoyment of three pregnancies to help the process along.
I was not the only choice to be singled out as inappropriate. Colin Powell, one of the most respected men in the country, was also labeled as a Democrat, Fred Thompson of Tennessee was a 'Johnny-come-lately' to the political party, George Pataki was from a Democratic state (New York), and so on. There was nobody who was conservative enough for Rush Limbaugh! The man was more of a raving lunatic than usual on the subject.
On the Fourth of July I attended the obligatory parades back in Hereford and Westminster and spent the rest of the day drinking around the pool with my 'enhanced' wife. Our daughters were elsewhere (they wanted to be anywhere other than where their hopelessly ancient and clueless forebears were) and Charlie was out at sea, so I managed to talk Marilyn into wearing a very extreme swimsuit and then chased her around the pool. I caught her and examined her enhancements up close and personal. My wife's comment was that perhaps I needed to spend my billions for some enhancements of my own, which earned her a good smack on the rear when we got out of the pool. Then I chased her into the house and we spent some more time examining our original equipment.
On July 5, the world got exceedingly strange. George Bush called me direct, and asked me to meet him at his suite at the Hay-Adams the next day, and I wasn't to speak to anybody about this, not my wife, not my staff, nobody. I simply thought this was weird. Up until now I had always heard from Cheney's staff. It seemed like he wouldn't be involved in this discussion. Could this be some final private vetting? That didn't make sense. There were already some unofficial reports saying that I was no longer under consideration, though nothing so crass was coming out officially from the campaign.
At ten the next morning, Thursday, I went over to the Hay-Adams and went up to the Governor's suite. After going through the discreet magnetometer and being eyed by the Secret Service agent standing post at his door, I was allowed in and found myself with George Bush. It was just the two of us, and he led me to a small parlor and we seated ourselves in armchairs. "Thank you for coming, Congressman Buckman."
"It's my pleasure, Governor. Perhaps someday I can say, it's my pleasure, Mister President."
He smiled at that and nodded graciously. He might be a moron, but he knew the game when it came to being pleasant and making his guests feel welcome. "That's very kind of you. I wanted to talk to you some more, and get a feel for how you think the campaign is going."
"Really? I was under the impression that I would be playing no further part in the campaign. According to Fox News and some of the other outlets in favor of you, there is no question but that I would be a hindrance, not a help. I'm not sure I could be elected dog catcher according to them."
He made a wry smile at that. "Perhaps you've heard the old prayer, 'Lord, protect me from my friends. I can take care of my enemies myself!' While I will grant you that a significant portion of my support comes from a more conservative element in the party, I do have to appeal to other groups as well. Not everybody agrees with that, but it is true."
I made an accommodating gesture and nodded. Where was he going with this? "Well, of course, Governor, as the leader of the Party, you would have to reconcile different philosophies." I smiled. "Consider it good practice for after the election, when you have to get the Democrats to go along with you!"
"Let's hope so. Oh, by the way, is your wife really a Democrat?"
I laughed. "Very much so. Her parents are torn between their love of their daughter and their despair that she married out of the faith, so to speak. Then again, several of her brothers are Republicans also, so it gets spread around somewhat evenly."
He laughed at this. He really was a consummate schmoozer. "You have a history of working across party lines as needed. You've been a leader in bipartisan legislation, and it's my understanding that you are a major conduit between the parties when something quiet needs to be whispered back and forth."
Was that what he wanted? He wanted me to whisper something to the Democrats? "It's always been my experience that the best results, in either business or in politics, are those where both groups can smile at the end and feel they've come away a winner.", I explained. What did he want me to tell them, and to whom?
"Newt Gingrich told me that you warned him against the government shutdown. You told him it would be a mistake, and so would the impeachment."
What in the world!? What was he asking me about Newt for?! "I consider Newt to be a friend and a mentor. I worked closely with him for many years. We simply disagreed on tactics, not strategy. We both wanted the same things."
"Such as?", he asked.
"First and foremost was our desire to bring the budget under control. I know you agree with me that for forty years the Democrats have been treating the Treasury as a piggy bank to be raided at will. We have been buying things on the national credit card with no thought to how we would pay it back. Thanks to the Speaker's leadership on this, we took back control of the House and the Senate, and were able to impose some serious financial constraints. The budget has been balanced for two years now, and should continue that way into the future."
"Very true. I would think, though, that we've turned a corner now. A tax cut is in order, wouldn't you agree?", he asked.
"Perhaps, but only if we can keep spending down. We must maintain at least a moderate surplus in order to pay down past debt." Where was he going with this? Treasury? Budget Director? You needed a PhD in economics and finance experience for that sort of stuff.
"You also were the chief architect of the Contract with America."
"Governor, I was just one of many people involved in that.", I protested.
"No false modesty. You came up with the idea, and then let Newt take control. Why was that?"
"Practicality. Nobody is going to pay attention to a junior Congressman. Everybody pays attention to Newt Gingrich!" We both laughed at that, but I still didn't understand what was going on. There's an old joke that if you're in a poker game, and you can't figure out who the chump is, it's you. I was feeling very much the chump at the moment.