"Congressman, these are some of the compelling reasons you are being considered for the Vice Presidential nomination. Properly handled, these positions can play to the base of our party, while your bipartisan nature plays to the other voting blocs."
I practically coughed up breakfast when he said the words 'Vice Presidential.' Still, I managed to keep my game face on, and simply looked at him curiously. "I'll be happy to help in any way I can, Governor."
He smiled and said, "Do you know the difference between being involved in something, and being committed to it?" Of course I knew the answer, but I simply allowed him to continue. "Well, this morning, I had bacon and eggs for breakfast. Now, the chicken, she was involved in my breakfast, but the pig, he was committed!"
I dutifully laughed. "Well, Governor, you can count on my commitment, that's for sure." Commitment to what?
"I was hoping you would say that. You see, Congressman, it's been very expensive getting to this point in my career. I mean, surely you can understand this, from your own experience." What the hell?! Did he want a campaign contribution? I simply nodded in understanding and agreement. "Well, I would think a sign of that commitment might be a suitable contribution, no, an investment, in the future."
The cheap bastard was hitting me up for money! I kept my emotions off my face. "I would think you've already picked up a substantial sum for the campaign, and it's only going to increase."
"I was thinking more along the lines of the difference between being involved and being committed. I was thinking more along the lines of a personal commitment, man to man, as it were."
Suddenly it hit me! Stripped of all the subtlety and innuendo, George W. Bush was proposing to sell me the Vice Presidency of the United States of America! I choked down my outrage, and leaned back in my seat. He kept his silence and simply watched me. There were no witnesses, no recorders. Who would credit such an outrageous charge?
It made sense, actually. The Bush family was wealthy, but it was all family money, which meant it was actually his father's money. George had a few million on his own, but it was nowhere near the level of dear old Dad. He had probably netted about $15 to $20 million when he sold his chunk of the Texas Rangers, but his oil investments had been a bust.
What the hell did I say to this? My mind was zinging back and forth at the speed of light, or even faster! Was he so confident of winning the election he could skip the pretence of having a Vice Presidential pick who could help? As Vice President, I would be in an intimate position with one of the dumbest guys to ever make it to the Oval Office. At least, that was how I remembered him from my first run through. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was smart like a fox! It actually made sense, in a way. Cheney had been out of the government for eight years. How the hell did he really end up as Vice President? Did he know the difference between being involved and being committed? After years of running Halliburton he probably had the funds necessary. I couldn't see any of the others with the funds sufficient to do this. Who else had he approached? McCain? He didn't have the money, but his wife did. He would never go along with something like this! Was that the reason he despised George Bush so deeply? Or did George figure McCain would flap his yap and blow the deal?
"Governor, have there been other indications of commitment? What level of commitment has been offered?", I asked. Let the bidding begin.
"There have been offers. Signs of the trust and commitment needed.", he admitted.
"Governor, I can't begin to determine the commitment necessary without knowing what else has been suggested."
"Congressman, I think we've both been in business long enough to know I can't simply give you a level and accept that you'll do that plus a dollar."
Don't you dare compare yourself to me as a businessman, you idiot. I was eating guys like you for lunch long before I got into politics! "No, but I can make a few guesses, can't I? I would expect the likeliest individuals, those with the assets to make such a commitment, would be able to invest perhaps $4 or $5 million. Am I at least in the proper area? I need to at least know something, Governor.", I responded.
He smiled at that. "And if you were correct in that, what would your response be?"
It was in the single digits, then. Probably all the info I would get. "I won't get in a bidding war. I'll give you a number. You can take it or leave it."
"Of course."
I rubbed my finger along the side of my jaw for a moment. This man was everything I despised in a politician, stupid and venal at the same time. Could I pay him enough to let me protect America from him? "Twenty."
The twit's eyes bugged out. "Twenty million dollars?" I was probably doubling his net worth.
"Of course, with that level of investment, of commitment on my part, I would be expecting an equal commitment from you. I would want to be included in all the major decisions, a chance to give you my thoughts on everything.", I cautioned.
"Absolutely, that goes without saying!"
"It won't be a lump sum, either."
"Oh?!", he answered warily.
"Unh, unh. Five now, five after being nominated at the convention, five after the election, and five after the inauguration." I didn't trust the man as far as I could throw him.
"That seems reasonable. When do you see this happening?"
"Do you have the account number?"
"What?"
I pulled out my cell phone. "Give me the account number and I can have the first five million wired to it. You'll have confirmation by tomorrow."
"Oh." He thought about it for a moment. "I'll have to get that for you."
What an idiot! The man was not a mastermind of finance. "Tomorrow morning, then. I'll make my preparations. You'll get confirmation within 24 hours."
"Excellent. I'll call you later today." He smiled and stood up. "Now, I think I need to make a few preparations."
"Of course." I stood up as well, and went to shake his hand. However, when he took my hand, I didn't let go. "One thing, Governor, my word and my deals mean a lot to me. I've made a lot of deals over the years. I'm sure you heard what I told the Clinton team a couple of years ago, when they tried to break a deal. I think we can all assume I would be equally unhappy with any other deal being broken. I mean, it would show a lack of commitment, wouldn't it?"
"I quite understand, Congressman Buckman, I quite understand.", he said, still smiling.
Don't smile, asshole. You've just been had.
Chapter 127: A New Campaign
That night I had Marilyn come into my office with me and I told her what was happening. Not entirely, though – I didn't tell her about the commitment, just that I was being selected. I didn't do this until after the girls went to bed, but I didn't want them to have any chance to overhear us. This was too insane to let them know. They would never be able to keep their mouths shut! Marilyn was simply astonished, since we had both come to the conclusion prior to this that I had no chance in the world of being named for anything whatsoever.