At that point I turned back to his assistant and said quietly, "Let's have that box." He lifted the box up to the conference table, where it moved a bit. "Let me introduce the newest member of the Buckman family. My daughters named her Stormy!" I popped the lid off the box and the pup dutifully stuck her head out and looked around. I awkwardly reached in with my good hand and lifted her up, and she licked my face. The room erupted in applause and cheering.
I had a funny feeling something was about to happen, so I told the assistant, "Leave me the cover section, but spread out that paper back here." His eyes widened a bit, but he smiled and tossed the cover section on the table. I turned back to the group and said, "Excuse us, but this little girl is still a puppy. I think we need to set her down." The fellow picked up Stormy and set her down on the newspaper, and she dutifully squatted and peed about ten gallons out. I made a wry look at the audience, and nodded to them. More than a few of the politicians looked horrified, but nobody could see from the audience. When she was finished, she looked around and tried to wander off, but the assistant grabbed her and put her up on the table. She came over and licked my face again.
Only one thing to do! I picked up the front page of the New York Times, probably the most liberal newspaper in the country. I held it so that everyone could see the cover. I leaned into the microphone and said, "Stormy prefers the New York Times because it's extra fluffy and absorbent. The New York Times – Stormy tested, Stormy approved!"
The laughter was pretty deafening at that, and we needed to bring this to an end. I pushed the pup down the table to the girls and stood up, picking up a microphone. "I think it's time to let some people go home. I'd like to apologize to the people of Springboro that I wasn't able to meet more of them the other day before we were so rudely interrupted. Here's two more campaign promises. First, the people behind me, your Governor and Senators and Congressmen, are going to bust their butts to help get Springboro back on its feet, and your next President, President George W. Bush, will be helping make that happen." I looked back and saw the people behind me were all loudly agreeing to this. I turned back and continued, "Secondly, I am going to be recuperating for a few more days, and then I'll be at the convention in Philadelphia. However, my first stop after that will be in Springboro, and I'll see what I can do to help them myself!"
Chapter 129: Home Again, Home Again
With that we shut off the mikes and despite the reporters still calling out questions, we all started moving out. Behind me at my feet was the soiled newspaper. Great! I dropped to one knee, to try and roll it up one handed, when the young assistant dropped down next to me and said, "I'll get that, Congressman." He already had a small trash can ready. I steadied the trash can for him and he rolled it up and stuffed it inside. "We're out this way, Congressman."
I looked around and saw that the twins had already bundled up the mutt, and were following their mother out the door we were heading towards. "What's your name?", I asked him. He was about 24 or 25.
"Frank Stouffer, Congressman."
"And what do you do in this traveling circus?"
"Mr. Rove has me assigned to the Governor."
I nodded and was about to speak further when Doctor Shooster tapped me on the right shoulder. "Congressman, you can't leave yet. I need to check you out first."
I grumbled at that, but was much more polite when Anna Simpson came up and shook my hand and kissed my cheek. "Thank you so much, Congressman! I know Tom and Sylvie want to thank you. Maybe when you come back you can meet them. You are coming back, aren't you?"
I smiled. "I just said it on national television. I don't think I can back out now. If she's not out of the hospital by then, I'll look her up, for sure."
"Thank you." She kissed my cheek again and then looked over at the twins. "You did real good with those girls." Then she was gone.
I said good-bye to the other politicians. They were planning on an inspection tour of Springboro, to 'assist.' God help Springboro! Before they left, I asked George Bush, "What's that kid of yours, Frank, do for you?"
He gave a shrug. "He's one of Karl's boys. Why?"
"Can I have him? He seems smart."
"Why? What do you need him for?"
"I need a dog-robber.", I told him.
He glanced at Frank and pointed at me. "Stick with the Congressman. You belong to him now."
Stouffer looked surprised with that but rolled with the flow. "Uh, okay." He turned to me and said, "What's a dog-robber?"
"Old time Army term. It means an aide-de-camp, somebody who helps out a general, who will rob a dog of his bone if ordered. Go get your stuff from wherever you've got it stashed and get back here before we leave. Pick up a dog crate big enough to handle Stormy and a few dog bowls.", I told him.
"Where?"
"Figure it out, dog-robber!"
He looked alarmed, but took off.
Marilyn looked over at him as he left, and then smiled at me. "Behave, Carl, he's not a second lieutenant."
"Honey, that is exactly what he is!" At that I followed the good doctor back to my room for a final checkup.
Unfortunately for the billing department, I proved healthy enough to be released and deny them the pleasure of another day's charges. We were on our way towards the door by five or so. As we reached the lobby, Frank Stouffer came racing in, out of breath, and yelling, "Wait!" He had a suitcase in one hand, a hanging bag over his neck, a large plastic animal crate in the other hand, and stuffed under that was a bulging plastic bag with the name of a pet store on it. He was being followed by a protesting cab driver, demanding payment. "I caught you!"
"A good thing you did, too. It'd be right embarrassing to miss the flight." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet, but couldn't handle opening it and paying the cabbie. I handed it to Marilyn and said, "Can you pay this guy?"
Marilyn snorted and smiled, and pulled a fifty out. "This cover it?"
The cab driver was suddenly all smiles, and he took the fifty and took off. The rest of us distributed the loot and Jerry McGuire, who had miraculously reappeared after the press conference, led us outside to a limo. From there we headed towards the airport, where the G-IV was waiting for us. We got on the plane and it was wheels up for Westminster.
My daughters had been wearing nice knee length dresses, which combined with some high heeled sandals, made them look older and more mature. I noticed that Frank had eyed them curiously. When he sat down in front of me, facing backwards, I told him, "Frank, you do realize that they aren't even 16 yet, don't you?" That wouldn't happen until tomorrow. "Do I need to take you down to the range and show you what happens to a hollow point when it hits something?"
He laughed at that. "No sir, I'm good on that. They are pretty cute, though, you have to admit that. They'll turn 18 sooner than you think."
I waved that off. "So? Six months from now I'll be the Vice President and have access to military weaponry. You have any idea what happens when a beehive round goes off? It's awesome!"
"I'll take your word for it, Congressman."