It turned out that Marilyn was the belle of the ball in more ways than one. She selected a nice scarlet red Versace gown with a slit up one leg to about mid thigh, and up top it featured a matching bolero jacket. The really interesting part was when she took the jacket off after we got to the Ball – under the jacket the top was a red sequined bustier, backless and strapless! Marilyn must have been tanning topless, and she looked good! I gave a wolf whistle that a few other people noticed, and Marilyn blushed and preened, twisting around to show me, and everyone else. Later on I discovered that she hadn't worn pantyhose, but stockings. She whispered to me during our first dance that she wanted my inauguration to be memorable. It was! She also made most of the tabloids and women's fashion magazines, and her dress became the season's must-have for evening gowns. Versace ended up making it in about a half dozen colors, as well as black, and the just-above-the-knee length black version became that year's LBD!
It was a lot more relaxing to be able to just attend the single ball, even if I did have to break off every few minutes to a sound room to make a televised appearance at one of the balls. At least this time nobody was going to take a snapshot of Marilyn snoring with her mouth open and drooling on my shoulder. We were actually able to dance, and I could have an extra drink or two. Unfortunately the guy carrying the football wouldn't let me nuke John Edwards's home town. He still pissed me off with his shit during the end of the campaign about Michael Petrelli. He was another putz I wouldn't mind nuking. (If he had managed to contact me after Jeana's death, and introduce himself in a civilized fashion, we might well have had a very different relationship. Selling the story to The National Enquirer and then suing me for billions was not a civilized introduction!)
Shortly after the Inauguration, I managed to tweak Marilyn on national television. One of the perks of being the President is being able to host musical groups at the White House. Sometimes this means wearing a tux to the Kennedy Center for a night of classical music (good) or opera (dreadful). Occasionally it means you get to dress casually while Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band rock the East Room – that was awesome! Whenever this goes on, of course, it's going out on PBS, and for the good stuff, one of the networks. I remember when I introduced Bruce Springsteen that I commented on the air, "It's a bit tricky for the President to get out at times, but one of the perks of the job is being able to call up Bruce Springsteen and ask him to come over to the house and play a set or two."
In mid-February we had a night of bluegrass and country music, with Alison Kraus followed by Brad Paisley. Marilyn and I were definitely looking forward to this; we never asked the opinions of our children, who were under orders to attend and smile. My job in all this is to act as the host, to introduce the performers, make a joke or two with them, and then sit down and listen. Pretty straightforward and simple. First up was Alison Kraus with her band Union Station, and that was pretty cool. I'm not madly crazy about bluegrass, but I won't turn it off if it comes on the radio, either.
The fun started when Ms. Kraus was finished and it was Brad's turn on the stage. His music was a more modern country style. I went up to the low stage, and did a quick intro, but then, before I sat down, I decided to have a little fun. "Brad, before I let you perform, I need you to do something for me. Could you help me for just a minute?"
Paisley looked a little amused and confused, but he was a game trouper. "Of course, sir. What can I do?"
I turned towards my wife and said, "Marilyn, can you come on up here with me?"
Marilyn looked mystified, but she was game. She joined us on the stage and said into the mike, "I have no idea what he's up to.", which got us some laughs.
I answered that with, "Brad, the First Lady and I have had an argument for years now, and you are qualified to settle it."
He glanced over at Marilyn, who had a curious look on her face, but he was in too far now. "I'll do what I can, sir."
"Okay.", I continued. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you began singing and playing guitar back in high school, right? Back when you were a teenager, right?"
"Yes, sir."
I looked towards his backup band. "How about you guys? The guys I mean, not the ladies, were you in groups then, too?" I got several agreements and thumbs-up from the band, though I doubt much of it made it to the microphones. "Okay, so here's the question. You'll see why I have to ask you, and why I couldn't ask Alison earlier. Marilyn and I have been arguing for years about this. She says that performers like you join bands and musical groups because they love music and performing and I say that teenage guys join bands in order to meet girls."
Paisley started laughing loudly at this, and his band pretty much broke down. Even the backup singers, all women, were laughing fit to bust a gut. Meanwhile the audience was laughing, as was Marilyn. "You are a rat!", she told me.
Paisley was grinning as he spoke into the microphone. "Nothing like putting me on the spot, Mister President! Who do I make angry, the lady of the house, or the guy who can order the IRS to investigate me?" I just smiled at that. "I'm going to have to say – the music and the performing. Sorry, sir, my mother would never forgive me if I got a lady angry at me!"
"Hah!", added Marilyn, giving me a superior look.
I wasn't done, though. I looked back at the band. "Guys? The music or the girls?!"
"Girls!", roared out from the band.
Brad was laughing again, and Marilyn punched me in the ribs lightly. "Brad, I think you've been outvoted! I think I'll let you get on with the music now."
"Good idea, sir, and I'll let you get on with your divorce!"
Marilyn laughed and hugged me, then went over and kissed him on the cheek, and we sat back down. Even the kids seemed to enjoy the evening after that, and clips ran on most of the comedy and news shows the next day.
I was hopeful that this year I would be able to get some stuff accomplished in Washington. Certainly last year, an election year, was a lost cause. Nothing gets done in D.C. every fourth year. Now, I wanted to head off a housing bubble, even if that caused a recession. A recession is nothing unusual, and was often the result of a bubble collapsing. The trick is not to let the bubble get too big. The Great Recession was caused by artificially inflating the bubble to monstrous size, and then suddenly popping it. I wanted some sort of increased banking regulation and to chew on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, make people look at them more realistically. If we had a mild recession in 2006, which was five years after the last one, then by the time the elections rolled around in 2008, we would be on the rise again, always good for the incumbent party. It's a cold calculus, but a realistic one. It was still a lot less painful to work with than to keep blowing smoke up everyone's ass until the wheels came off, and we suffered the worst recession since the Great Depression!
Oh, I also had to keep balancing the budget in the face of some heavy Democratic and Republican opposition! The Republicans were really pushing for a tax cut. I had been putting them off for three years, and running budget surpluses and paying down the debt. The Dems wanted to keep taxes where they were and increase entitlements. Everybody wanted to keep the gravy train rolling on biscuit wheels, especially with the gung-ho housing market. I knew what would happen and I desperately wanted to keep things under control.
Worst of all for me, I now had a split Congress. The House was still solidly Republican, but the Democrats had managed to take back the Senate, with 50 Dems and Bernie Sanders as an Independent, versus 49 Republicans. The worst part? Harry Reid was the new Senate Majority Leader, and Harry didn't like me. We had never really jelled. He was a fair bit more liberal than me, and we disagreed on a number of items. Even when I had a liberal position, such as being pro-choice, he turned out to be pro-life! I could already feel an itch between my shoulder blades from where I knew the knife was going to go in!