"I knew it. And what is it like? What is it like to stand there and look upon a new race and be the first human to interact and..." He broke off. "Sorry. I suppose you could say I've given this a bit of thought. You don't have to answer."
"I will," I said quickly. "I just...I don't know how to answer. You have to remember, I don't know anything else. Every week, or month, or year we'd be somewhere different. We'd be on a planet or an asteroid and it was always new. And if it's always new, it's never really new." I laughed at myself. "Does that make any sense?"
"Yes. Yes it does." Alistair was sitting forward, his face looking younger with his excitement. "If you're always doing something different, it's the same."
"Exactly!" He understood. Someone finally understood. "So yes, we met new tribes. But Ralph would be better able to tell you what it was like to 'discover'. To me it wasn't discovery at all. It was just life. One day here, next day there. One species here, next over there."
Alistair sighed, smiling, and sat back, folding his hands over his stomach. "How amazingly wonderful!"
"It was."
"You miss it, then?"
Too much to admit. So much that if I began to tell Alistair, this friend, this real, true friend just how much, I wouldn't be able to keep control.
But he didn't need my answer. He knew it. He changed the subject. "Tell me what is the hardest part of being on Earth."
"It's heavy."
Ralph snorted. "Amen to that!"
"And it smells. Terrible."
Alistair quirked an eyebrow. "I never noticed."
"And it's loud. And there's always, always someone telling me what to do and say."
"You look very good on the set," he said, nodding his head to his large telescreen.
"I look like a painted up puppet," I said flatly. He did not deny it. "I do what I have to do."
"And that is?"
"Jake, we don't want to bore your cousin..." Ralph was trying to lead me away from a danger topic. It made me want to talk about I all the more.
"And that is to gain the acceptance StarTech needs to gain the IOC's permission for interstellar breeding."
"Paving the way for galactic expansion?" I nodded, and he whistled. "Tall order from one so young."
"Not that young. I'm as old as you are," I reminded him with a laugh.
"Touche."
"All this talk about StarTech business...I thought we were here to get away from all that, Jake."
Lynette suddenly agreed with Ralph. "Why don't you ask questions about your family? You must have a lot." I felt like she was a traitor. She and Ralph both. Marlon would be no help to either side. His head was bent to his holo since the trip began.
And then it happened. I looked at Alistair and I knew I could inspeak with him. The thought popped into my head out of nowhere and I instantly shook it off, passing it off for tiredness or just a misread because of the sense of familiarity I had around him. After the second wave of inner feeling coming from his direction washed over me, I looked at him carefully. Was it really possible?
Best do what they say, Jacob. They don't know half of what you do.
My eyes went wide. What do you mean? Is this really happening?
You'll see in time. We'll have plenty of time later. For now they want you to be interested in your family. Let's play the game.
My heart raced with excitement. Alistair gave a tiny nod and a quick wink. It was real! I hadn't imagined it, he could inspeak. And he expected me to play the game, to ignore my discovery. He wanted me to sit there and pretend nothing monumental had just happened. He could feel my inner struggle and gave me a serious look. I willed my heart to calm down and took a deep breath. Play the game. Fine. I would prove I could. I asked about my family, not caring one bit what would be said after that. I just wanted to do whatever it took to wrap things up and get the others to go away.
We talked about family. We walked around outside. He had a beautiful estate at the base of a mountain. We saw animals and breathed in fresh air, that still stinks in my opinion, and ate dinner out on a wooden table on a wooden platform looking over the, well, woods.
And even though outside I was calm, cool, and, well, boring, inside I was racing. I kept trying. I kept trying to do it again. I kept trying to inspeak. I felt it, the internal closed door. He was intentionally keeping me from reaching him. And that thrilled me more than anything. It meant he knew what he was doing, that it wasn't some accident or an unconscious quirk.
Not long after dinner, Lynette said she was tired. Marlon hadn't said one rude comment in days, so I knew he was wiped as well. Ralph looked old and weary. As soon as the conversation started to peter out, I seized the opportunity.
"Why don't you all head to bed?" I suggested.
"Yes. The rooms are ready. Please, don't keep yourselves awake on my account," Alistair urged. For all his calm exterior, it was clear he wanted to talk to away from the others as badly as I did.
Lynette put up a little argument because it was early still and she didn't want to seem rude, but she made the argument as she was rising and heading towards the stairs. Marlon said, "Night," and took off without even looking up from his holo. Ralph didn't want to go. I silently begged him. After a moment he sighed. "Fine. But you get to bed soon, Jake. You've been stressed this week. You need your rest. Alistair?"
"I won't keep him up late," he promised.
Ralph gave me a warning look. It said, "So help me god, if you dare talk about things you know damn well you're not supposed to, you'll never walk straight again." With just one look.
"I'll be up soon," I promised. It was my way of saying, "Yeah, jeez, cut me a little slack, would you? I'm not a moron."
He nodded. He understood our code.
Alistair watched him climb the stairs, then waited until he heard the door close somewhere above before he began speaking. He didn't speak, though.
You can understand me, can't you?
Yes, yes! I screamed inside.
"It is a trick no one understands," he said aloud, looking very pleased with himself. "It's been a secret passion of mine for years, since I was a child. It is my conclusion that what we refer to here on Earth as 'telepathy' is actually an evolutionary advancement."
I was shocked. "Other people here can inspeak?"
"That's what you call it?"
"That's the translation. Uh, from Qitani."
He looked at me a moment. "The green people."
I never even felt his search. It made me uncomfortable that he could so easily tap in. The discomfort was replaced by the cold feeling of what I think of as the internal door.
"I did not mean to pry." He looked embarrassed. "It's habit, you see."
"It's...okay."
"No, it's not. It's one of my firm rules, and I'm sorry I broke it." He shifted. "My father, he could do the same. It got me thinking at an early age that perhaps it had something to do with genetics. And indeed, it does, though I'm just short of finding the direct gene. It's in families. And it's a talent that's especially prevalent in strains of the population that possess a higher than average IQ."
An evolutionary advancement with genetic ties. I was stunned. "I wonder what Mother would say about it all."
He quirked an eyebrow. "Actually, I've always wondered...since my father was proficient in telepathy, perhaps Auntie Eunice..."
I shook my head before he could even finish. "No. She can't."
He frowned. "Are you quite sure? Because there is a difference between can't and won't. Remember, Jacob, that the scientific method requires a large pool, if you will, of subjects to study. Is it that she could not? Or is it possible that she was too much of a true scientist to admit to something that could not be proven?"
I sat back. I had heard the expression "blowing one's mind". I could say that for the first time ever, I felt like my mind was blown. Maybe Mother could. Maybe she could all along, but simply had no way proving it to her own satisfaction. It would have explained so much. It would have explained why Mother questioned me so intensely about inspeaking, why it was constantly an issue with her. It would have explained why she pressed Morhal about that subject more than any other.