It's not much after a life of seeming coldness. But I hope, my Jakey, I hope that there is enough of me in you to understand just how much that means I love you.
I had never heard that much emotion from my mother. I never thought I would. I missed her then, truly, deeply for the first time. I curled up on the bed and read the last two lines over and over, and the ache of loneliness throbbed through my gut. I do understand, Mother. I do.
Slowly it ebbed. Slowly the ache passed. And slowly, the rest of what was said by them started to seep into my consciousness. Or, actually, the rest of what they didn't say. Something had happened. Something went wrong that I didn't know about. They would not be on the Condor any longer and I would not have been safe, that much was clear. But what and why? I pulled myself back up flagged those two letters. I made a note to ask Alistair or Marlon how to copy them to my own holo. I didn't know if I'd ever read them again, but they were mine.
The next file was from Xavier. It began to paint a clearer picture.
Condor One communications log 478:
ATTN: StarTech Galactic
From: Commander Xavier Holling, COO Condor One
To whom it may concern,
As per the terms of the mutually agreed upon contact treaty, both Captains Cosworth have been delivered to the designated containment center. I have officially taken command of the Condor One. True to their word, we faced no resistance when the remaining crew decided to serve their terms out on the ship instead of on land. We have agreed to act as a processing center for information passing between galaxies, and they have agreed to keep us supplied until a time when it is no longer necessary. It was the very best agreement I could broker for the remaining crew.
I would like to take this opportunity to file an official complaint about the way the situation with the child was handled. Because I was not in command at the time, his escape was beyond my control. I have done all I can to bargain with our captors, but it will not be enough. We will spend our lives tied to this ungodly planet and I believe official censure of both Captains Cosworth is in order. The two of them lost their objectivity years ago. They abandoned the mission.
Do not send another ship to this solar system. It would not be well received. There is no way to make any escape, and I will not risk my crew trying. We have accepted our fate. Please do not make it worse for us. Learn from the data we send, and next time, step lightly.
My first thought was just how much of a bastard Xavier was. Covered his own ass with the boss, that's what he tried to do. That's what he always did. It was always someone else's fault. Typical. Some things never changed.
And then the enormity of it all slammed into me. Mother and Dad were prisoners. Daniel, Stephen, Jenna...they all were prisoners.
"But it doesn't make sense! The Qitani are our friends." I said it over and over when a very sleepy Ralph grudgingly confirmed what I put together.
"Jake. Keep your voice down."
"No." I didn't care if I woke the whole house.
He sighed and sat up. "How in the hell did you even find out?"
I scoffed. That was what he was going to focus on? "According to Dad, my 'uncle' was already supposed to have told me all about it."
Ralph looked at me for a minute then rubbed a hand down his face. He swore. "Look. You were so..." he began, before frowning and trying again. "I didn't think it..." He swore again, then sighed deeply. "Hell. Sit down." I didn't want to. I was that mad. "Shut that door and sit," he said more firmly. I shut the door and sat as far away from him as I could and waited while he took a drink of water.
"They had us from the moment we entered the solar system. We weren't leaving from that point on. We didn't know it, though. Not until after first contact with the Qitani."
"But they're our friends," I stubbornly insisted again.
"No, Jake," he said firmly. "They were friendly, but only as a means to an end. Not that I can blame them. Their lives are so very short. How long do they get? Twenty years? Twenty five, if they're lucky? The amount of research we carried with us was easily five, six generations worth to them. Think about that. In our terms, that's like three hundred years of technological evolution." He shook his head. "They'd be idiots to pass that up, to let it slip away."
"But we shared. We gave them what they asked for."
"Some. Not all. We could never have just given it all to them."
I shook my head. "Why? They gave us..."
"What? What did they actually give us, Jake? Supplies. Sure. Help with the fah'ti, though not intentionally for our purposes."
"What...what do you mean?"
"We weren't supposed to leave. None of us." He waved a hand when I opened my mouth. "Just listen. It's late and I'm suddenly feeling old and tired and sick of it all. Do you remember first contact? Yes, you do. From a kid's point of view. But think about that day, and try to see it through our eyes. We had no control over the ship. They took control when we were still on v-2445. Hell, they probably even made that discovery happen first in order to study us for awhile before they brought us in. They landed our ship. Yes, they welcomed us. That's true. But that was as much for show to their people as the televised IOC 'hearing' was for ours." He gave a sad little laugh. "That should have tipped us off right there, now that I think about it. They're much more like us than we ever actually wanted to believe."
It was all a show, then. Our freedom. Our friendship. Our trade, which I thought was fair until the dread gathered at thinking of it through Ralph's eyes. I shook my head, not wanting to accept that, but Ralph pushed on.
"It was in the first year that your folks were presented with an ultimatum. Either they agreed to never leave, or they and the entire Condor crew would be killed." I gasped. It was impossible for me to speak. "They're a war people, Jake. Even if we didn't have bazillions of bytes of precious intel, they could not let us go because we were a threat. We'd give some one else a way to get at them."
I thought I had him on that point. "They built us a fah'ti."
"Not for us. They built it for..." He shook his head. "Just listen and don't jump in, okay? We'll get there. God, I need a drink." He shifted on the bed and started gesturing as he spoke. "Your mother and father called a meeting when they returned from planet side. It was already too late."
"Xavier said he could have stopped it if he took control sooner."
He snorted. "Like anyone would follow that jackass! He could fly a ship. That's it. He had no idea how to lead a crew. No one liked him. If he had tried, we would have tossed him out the air lock. I can't believe you'd doubt that."
I threw my hands in the air. "I just found out that the last five years of my life have been a lie! I don't know what to believe."
He looked like he was going to argue for a second, but didn't. "He wouldn't have taken charge. Besides, even if he had, it was too from the very moment we entered that solar system, and he made absolutely no objection to follow the charts there. It was on our plotted course, and he was a stickler for things like that. I don't care what he says after the fact, he was as gung-ho as the rest of us to see what secrets those sister stars held."
I hate that that made me feel better, but it did.
"The fah'ti was only ever supposed to be used to transmit information only for humans, not physical mass."
I frowned. "But the Qitani use them to jump."
"Yes. They figured only the Qitani could use them. We're much heavier than they are. Maybe they figured the fah'tis were too flimsy to transmit people so big. Maybe they figured we were too stupid to figure out how to use them. Hell, I don't know. There was a different theory from every crew member. I think your mother was the closest. She believed they were conceited enough to believe we'd never dare try. Since you and I are sitting in a log cabin a thousand galaxies away from Laak'sa, I think that proves your mother was right." He took another sip of water and let me digest what he had said.