What is the meaning of this? You do not have permission to touch me. Where is your suit? And why aren't you all slimy? You are supposed to have skin that feels slimy.
And you are supposed to be all scaly. I guess our parents lied.
"Jake," said Christophe patiently behind me. "Is..is everything all right?"
They cannot inspeak, I let her know.
Good. I do not think I want such people to know my words at this moment.
Very regal. I smiled at her again. "Everything is fine, Christophe."
You lie! How could you tell him such? I am connected to these machines and these..these..grundhi dare tell me...
I sighed inside. I urged her to calm down. I pointed out that the machines were beeping louder the more upset she was and that the louder they beeped, the more the grundhi would do to her. She gave me an angry look, but I could feel the fear behind it. I squeezed her hand. It startled her, but she didn't pull away.
"She's scared. Get everyone to leave her alone." I left no room for arguing.
Christophe turned to one of the nurses rushing in. "I want the room cleared of all staff. Immediately." The nurse nodded and cleared out the others and the bots. "And keep that door closed until you have my permission to open it." The nurse agreed and left. "Is it all right if I stay? Or should I leave as well?"
This is your primary?
I laughed. "No, Christophe is not a primary," I said out loud. Inside I explained his position.
I am in no shape to take council.
She was tired. She was scared. She was weak and in pain...and still, always, forever a queen. The absolute relief that flooded through made my smile bigger. "It's okay if you stay," I told Christophe over my shoulder. "But keep in mind she's very weak."
Jacob! You do as I command.
Not here. I squeezed her hand again to let her know to follow my lead on this one. She was there! Real! With me! I felt...electric.
You have been changed. Has it been so very long after all? I do not think I like the change.
She didn't remove her hand in spite of the words, so I didn't think she minded all that much. "This is Christophe Venderi. He's one of StarTech's leading men. Christophe, this is Ashnahta, Primary to the Throne of the Qitani of Laak'sa." It didn't realize what I'd said until it was out. Her title. It's how she herself trained me to introduce her. As soon as it was out I could feel the flood of pain in her. I looked at her. The sadness in her eyes was almost my undoing.
Christophe did not pick up on the private feelings and welcomed her. He said something to me, but I was too busy trying to figure things out.
He is speaking to you.
Why did you jump?
Answer to your primary, Jacob. You are rude.
She closed off any answer to that question. "I'm sorry, what did you say Christophe?"
He looked at me a long moment before standing. "I said that it must have been a terrible journey and I assume that the Primary to the Throne would like to rest. I will excuse myself and allow you two old friends to catch up." On the way by, he hit the tint button on the window to give us privacy. I could have hugged him.
"My throat burns like cooking embers," she said out loud in Qitani when we were alone. Her voice sounded raspy and very deep, like she sounded the time she was allowed on the Condor. The extra oxygen changed the way her vocal cords worked. I got her a glass of water and she made a face. "It does not smell right."
"It's not marsh water, that's for sure," I answered in English. If she was going to stay on Utopia, she might as well learn what it's really like to be the odd man out. Mean? Nah. Just some friendly table turning. Besides, she might not deign to speak it herself, but she damn well knew what the words meant. "It's clean and cold, though. Drink it."
She pushed herself up. She looked absolutely ridiculous in the human hospital gown. Her eyes narrowed and she dared me to laugh. She took a long drink of the water. "It has no flavor. What is the point?" I put the cup back on a table and then we just sat and looked at each other. "It is heavy here," she said eventually.
"Yes."
"Is that why your arms have gotten large?"
"Yes. Apparently big muscles are an attraction on Earth." I posed, flexing. "What do you think?"
"It is ridiculous. You do not need those lumps."
I laughed. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. You'll get used to the different gravity. It'll get easier once you start eating. I know you're hungry."
"Do not pretend to know my every thought just because you...you..."
She was flustered. I didn't know why. Something got her worked up. I smiled. "I don't. I just know that trip and what that jump does to you. Did it myself, you know. A little food, a little time, a few dozen heavy workouts in the conditioning room and you, too, could be this buff and tough!"
"You make jokes."
I grinned. "Yes."
"I did not come here for you to make such jokes!"
Then why did you come?What happened? How did you get here? I didn't mean to grill her. I couldn't help it. She's so much better at inspeaking, at controlling the emotions.
Do not.
It was such a stark command that I obeyed.
She sat back on the bed and tried to arrange her blankets, but the tubing for the IVs was holding her arms back. "What is all of this...this..." She was tugging at the tubes going into her arms.
"Our way of medicine," I explained, following her change of subject. "Don't tug on it. It's giving nutrients to your blood."
She looked shocked. "It is into my core?"
"Yes, but only..."
Remove it!
She was panicking again. "It's okay, it's nothing bad." They did not have intravenous medicine on Laak'sa. It was one of those gaps in knowledge that confused our crew. They had excellent pills and even surgeries. On the whole, though, their medical knowledge was very primitive. Mother believed it was another product of their naturally short lifespans, that they had an attitude of why bother with the effort when natural death was so close anyway, or something like that.
Ashnahta began clawing at the IVs. "Remove them!" she screamed. "Get them out of me! Out!"
I jumped up and put my hands over hers. A few drops of the blood so deeply red it was almost brown trickled out from under the tubing. I felt her fear at the sight as if it was my own. Maybe it was my own. I calmed her, with words inside and my hands outside. I had seen this done thousands of times. I knew how to remove the tubes. "You'll hurt yourself if you do it like that," I said out loud.
Get them out.
I opened a supply drawer in the cabinet near the bed. There were swabs and bandages and I took out a couple. "No one was trying to hurt you," I explained. "You couldn't eat or drink."
"Do not tell lies to me. That is not food."
I had to laugh at her tone. I gently held her arm when she flinched until she relaxed enough for me to slide the IVs out and quickly bandage the holes. "No, not exactly. It's the vitamins and nutrients found in food, all taken out and put in water. It feeds you when you can't feed yourself." I patted the bandages in place and smiled at her. "But you're awake now and can eat for yourself so we don't need this anymore, do we?"
"I do not think I shall want anything put in my self again." The tone was regal, the eyes were scared.
I wondered...is that how I had looked to her all those years on Laak'sa? Eager, but scared. Willing, but scared. Trying my hardest, but scared...
You have reached your manhood I believe.
The thought hit me out of the blue. It took me a second to respond, and when I did, it was with laughter. "No, not even close."
You tell me more lies.