“I will do my best to make sure you feel no pain and that it’s quick,” he assured me. “The only alternative is that we enter through Spessa’s End or Pompay, where the closest gateways to Irelone are, which would be rather time-consuming.”
“It’s fine,” I told him. “I can deal with it.”
“I know you can.” A pause. “You can deal with anything.”
I stilled, once again struck off-kilter by his too-soft tone as he continued to eye me closely, enough to make my skin prickle with awareness. I was grateful we had nothing else to discuss. I unclasped my hands, beginning to rise—
“Nektas told me you ran into the nymphs on your return from the Vale.”
“We did.” I remained tense in the chair, like a bird perched on a cliff, prepared to take flight. “I’d forgotten about them.”
“You killed one,” he said. “With eather.”
I nodded.
“You shouldn’t be able to do that.”
“That’s what Nektas said. The embers…I guess they really are that powerful. But that will soon be something I won’t need to worry about.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to keep you—”
“I don’t want you to do this.”
Confusion rose once more. “Do what?”
“This.”
I waited for more of an explanation. There was none. “I’m going to need you to elaborate.”
One side of his lips curled up. “You don’t need to become someone you’re not.”
The muscles along my spine clenched. “I’m not.”
“You’re being amicable. Understanding. Reserved. Even polite.” He fired off what most would consider admirable traits.
“It’s not an act.”
“I didn’t suggest that it was.”
I frowned. “Then what exactly are you suggesting, Your Highness? Because I’m confused as to why you would now demand that I be…what? More argumentative? Irrational?”
“As I told you before, I quite enjoyed the more…reckless side of your nature.”
I was still on the outside. Inside, however, I trembled.
“But this?” He lowered his hand to the surface of his desk. “This was how you were raised to be, wasn’t it?”
I sucked in a breath.
“Pliable. Submissive. Quiet.” He paused. “Empty.”
A sharp swirl of tingles swept along the nape of my neck as my eyes locked with his—with a gaze that continued to be intense and…and searching. I gripped the arms of the chair. “You’re trying to read my emotions.”
“Yes,” he confirmed without any hint of shame. “And I feel nothing.”
My mouth dried. “So?”
“There hasn’t been one time that I’ve been in your presence for more than a handful of minutes where I haven’t felt you project an emotion, be it joy, desire, or anger,” he said. “Not from the first moment I saw you in the Dark Elms till I tried to slow your breathing beneath the palace.”
I shook, my calm cracking.
“This isn’t you. You have never been like this with me.” His palm flattened against the desk. “Whether it’s because I’ve annoyed you or something else, you have always been yourself. You have more than earned the right to be yourself. To think what you want, feel what you want. That shouldn’t change.”
“It shouldn’t?” I whispered.
“No.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “No matter what I’ve done to you.”
What he had…? I stopped myself from finishing that thought. “The problem with that is that my feelings could’ve killed me and destroyed the palace.”
“Not your feelings,” he corrected quietly. “What I did to them. What happened is my fault, Sera. Not yours.” His gaze never wavered. “You do not need to change. And as…as selfish as this is, I don’t want you to.”
“I don’t want to be like this,” I whispered before I could stop myself.
Nyktos jerked—actually recoiled—and shadows became visible beneath his skin for a brief second.
My broken nails scraped the chair’s wooden arms, and I focused on my breathing until the abyss that pained whisper had come from was sealed off once more. “But I can’t feel like that ever again. So, we can’t always get what we want.” I rose. “Not even Primals.”
“Sera.” He stood, both hands flat on his desk. “I didn’t—” He winced, air hissing between his clenched teeth as he lifted his right hand from the desk and looked at it. His nostrils flared. “Fuck.”
“What?” My eyes searched his face when he didn’t respond. “What is it?”
Nyktos turned his hand over so his palm faced me. My lips parted at the reddish-black slash cutting through a circle seemingly inked into the center of his hand. “Kolis,” he growled, his eyes filling with vivid streaks of eather. “He’s summoned us.”
I’d never seen so many people in Nyktos’s office at once.
Every single one of his most trusted guards were present, including Aios and Nektas, who’d arrived with the two young draken. Jadis was in her mortal form, nestled against her father’s chest and fast asleep with what appeared to be half her hand in her mouth.
I glanced down at my lap. Somehow, I had ended up seated on the settee with Reaver, who was awake but currently had his diamond-shaped head resting on my knee. I think he’d done it to stop me from repeatedly tapping my foot on the floor.
Part of me also thought maybe he’d sensed my nervousness and was responding to it, which didn’t seem like a normal thing.
My gaze shifted to my bare wrists. The charm was there, invisible to me, but it wouldn’t work outside the Shadowlands. I could be kept in Dalos.
“He summoned you before I thought he would,” Nektas said, gently rocking Jadis from where he stood behind Nyktos’s desk. “I figured he’d take his sweet-ass time.”
“That’s what I’d hoped,” Nyktos said, leaning against the front of his desk, his arms crossed over his chest. Like the last time I’d looked at him, he watched me. Only me.
“Wait. I’m confused,” Ector said.
Theon snorted. “No one is surprised.”
Ector ignored him. “Being summoned to Dalos isn’t going to be fun, but getting his permission means crowning her as the Consort sooner rather than later, giving her the protection you’ve been wanting.”
“It does,” Nyktos said. “But it would’ve been preferable to get the embers out of Sera first.”
Aios frowned as she exchanged a look with Bele. “Are you worried that Kolis will be able to sense them in her now that they’ve grown stronger?”
My head cut toward Nyktos then. I hadn’t even thought about that. “Will he?”
“He may be able to sense something that alludes to you being no ordinary godling.” Only a faint glow of eather pulsed behind his pupils. “But if so, that can be explained away.”
“How?”
“Blood,” Nektas answered, rubbing Jadis’s back. One of her tiny feet peeked out from the edge of her blanket. “His blood. If anyone drinks enough of a Primal’s blood, they will give off some Primal vibes until the blood is completely absorbed into their system.”
“Oh.” I wanted to relax at hearing that, but we had a far bigger issue with me coming face-to-face with Kolis.
“So, as long as you play nice with Kolis, he’ll give his permission,” Saion said. “Really nice, Nyktos.”
“Yeah, good luck,” muttered Lailah. I looked to where she stood on the other side of a silent Rhain, her hand resting on the hilt of one of the swords strapped to her hip.
“It isn’t him I’m worried about.” Ector looked pointedly in my direction, and Rhahar gave a low cough.