Unable to stay still, I pulled on his hold. Nyktos’s arm fell away. I rose, backing away from him. “I will not hide from his summons, Nyktos.”
His hand fell to the arm of his chair. “And I will not allow you to be in danger.”
“I’m already in danger! I’ve lived my whole life that way.” The crack in my chest threatened to spread and deepen as I stared at the empty bookshelves. “If my refusal to answer his summons caused something to happen—for people to be hurt or killed—I couldn’t…” I shoved the hair back from my face as I turned away from him. “I couldn’t deal with that.”
“Is that really why you are determined to answer his summons?”
Slowly, I faced him. “What other reason could there be?”
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” His grip on the arm of the chair tightened, bleaching his knuckles. “To get to Kolis?”
I opened my mouth, but it struck me that I should be celebrating this. Not once—not from the moment Attes had delivered his message until now—had it even occurred to me that Nyktos wouldn’t be forced into taking me as his Consort tomorrow. I could come face-to-face with Kolis without the risks of escaping. And if I looked like Sotoria, my duty would be even easier to achieve. Not only lives would be saved. Entire realms would be. I should be thrilled.
But I wasn’t.
I felt anything but that. A wild mix of emotion brimmed beneath the surface, causing the crack in my chest to weaken even further. I was scared. Horrified. Angry. Desperate. On the verge of losing control—
I sucked in deep gulps of air, shutting it all down. Silencing the storm much like I had when I donned the veil.
Nyktos hadn’t taken his eyes off me. His stare was as hard as it had been earlier. “This way, you wouldn’t have to try to escape, would you?”
The breath I took fell short as the back of my neck burned. “Fuck you.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw. I thought he might have flinched, but I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care. I turned stiffly, leaving his office before the crack in my chest exploded again.
Before I lost control.
Nektas was waiting in the hall when I stormed out of Nyktos’s office. I didn’t see Ector as I turned, walking past the draken. I swallowed a curse as Nektas fell into step beside me.
“Great. You’re following me,” I muttered.
“You’re very astute, meyaah Liessa.”
I sighed.
“You don’t like being referred to as a Queen, do you?”
“You’re very astute, meyaah draken.”
Nektas’s laugh was short and rough as I opened the door to the stairwell. “I didn’t know I was your draken.”
I started climbing the narrow steps far less grand than the main staircase. “Yeah, well, you’re my draken as much as I’m your Queen.”
“You are our Queen with or without a coronation.”
“That makes little sense, but whatever,” I muttered, reaching for the door on the fourth floor.
Nektas stretched his arm over my head, pulling it open before I could. “You carry the only true embers of life in you, Sera. You’re the Queen.”
I looked over my shoulder at him with a frown.
He eased past me, quiet as he led the way to my bedchamber. I watched as he entered the room and proceeded to go straight to the bathing chamber. He pushed open that door and inspected the space before going to the balcony doors while I stopped by the settee. There, he shoved the drapes aside and looked out.
“Do you want to check under the bed, too?” I suggested.
He turned, arching a dark brow. “Was Ash wrong? In doubting your motivations?”
“Gods,” I snarled. “Is eavesdropping a talent draken are particularly skilled at, or is it just something you’re really good at?”
Nektas stared blandly at me.
I held his gaze.
“You want to know what I think?”
“No,” I said.
“I’m going to tell you anyway.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“I was attempting to be polite,” he replied, and I snorted. “He was wrong.”
I said nothing.
“But he was also right.”
“Well, your commentary was helpful, as always,” I said, shaking my head in frustration. “You know, the thing is, I don’t blame Nyktos for questioning that. Not really. But, honest to gods, seizing this as an opportunity to get to Kolis didn’t even cross my mind.”
“Then who are you more angry with? Ash or yourself?”
“Both?”
He smiled faintly. “You can’t be angry at both.”
I looked away. “Yeah, but being angry doesn’t matter. What Nyktos believes doesn’t matter. What I want doesn’t matter. What does is the fact that Kolis one-upped us—probably without even realizing he did. Now, we will both be summoned, and how can Nyktos convince Kolis that he has no idea how a god Ascended or that he doesn’t know it was Bele?”
“As Ash said, he’s had to convince Kolis of many falsehoods in the past.”
“Like what?” I asked, unable to stop myself.
“That Ash doesn’t hate him with every fiber of his being and wants to see him chained beneath the ground. Kolis doesn’t know that. He thinks that Ash is only testing his limits when he rebels against him or pushes back on something. Kolis believes that Ash is as loyal to him as any other Primal.”
Disbelief rolled through me. “How can Kolis not know the truth when he killed Nyktos’s parents? How can he even think for one second that Nyktos would be loyal after that?”
“Because Ash has convinced him that he feels nothing regarding his mother. That wasn’t difficult for Kolis to believe since Ash never knew her,” he explained. “And he’s convinced Kolis that he hated his father—that he considered Eythos weak and selfish. If Ash hadn’t been successful in hiding his true feelings toward him, Kolis would’ve done worse than what he did after he took the embers.”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“Kolis killed every god and godling that served under Eythos, ensuring that none could Ascend to replace the Primal of Life.”
“Good gods,” I whispered. “All of them?”
“Those who were not at Court were hunted down across Iliseeum and the mortal realm. Even godlings several generations removed from the Court, those who never went through the Culling, were slaughtered.”
I clamped my mouth shut against the rising bile. I didn’t know what to say, but I suddenly thought of the murdered mortals. The siblings and the babe. Could their deaths have been a result of that? Had Nyktos believed wrong? Or was it that he’d felt he couldn’t tell me at the time?
“If Kolis knew how Ash really felt about him, he would’ve killed every god here,” Nektas continued quietly. “Every mortal and godling. Chained every draken in the Abyss. Kolis would’ve leveled the Shadowlands.”
I sat on the edge of the bed.
“So, convincing him of this will be no different.”
“How…?” I clasped the bed column I sat near. “How can he be that convincing?”
Nektas’s crimson eyes met mine. “It’s the same thing that drives you to be so convincing. That it is his duty to do whatever is necessary to protect as many people as he can.”
I flinched. “I’m not pretending—”
“I’m not talking about Ash.”
He was talking about Kolis—about the duty I knew was mine. One that would allow me to do whatever was necessary. I pressed my lips together. “But it’s different. Kolis hasn’t made any personal attacks against me. There isn’t history between us like there is with him and Nyktos.”