There was a beat of silence. “You okay?”
“I…I think my hair is sticky.” Closing my eyes, I ordered myself to get it together. There was no reason for me to behave so strangely. My big, unnecessary epiphany didn’t change Nyktos, and I needed to treat this the same way I treated the looming summons or the matter of who the soul inside me belonged to: deal with it by…not dealing with it.
Sounded like a plan.
I peeked up at him. Tension had gathered in the lines of his mouth and brow. Concern blossomed.
His gaze swept over my face so intensely I wondered if he was counting my freckles again. Or if I’d been projecting the wild mix of emotions earlier, and he was trying to figure out what had caused them. I really hoped it was the former.
It was neither.
“You’ve been sleeping a lot more lately,” he said.
A little bit of relief swept through me, but it was brief. “I know. I feel fine,” I quickly added. “No headaches or anything, but I didn’t sleep this much before. I guess it’s the Culling,” I finally admitted aloud—and to myself.
Nyktos nodded. “It could’ve been the training this morning—”
“I don’t want to stop.”
He pulled back as I swung my legs off the couch and scooted to the edge. “I’m not suggesting we do.”
“I feel like there is a but coming.”
Nyktos was still watching me closely. Too closely. “You saw Nektas’s eyes change color.”
I frowned. “To blue. Is there something wrong with them?”
“No,” he answered, brushing a few tangled curls back from my shoulder. “I’ve never seen them that color, but all of the draken used to have blue eyes.”
“Really?” Surprise flickered through me. “Why are they now red?”
“They turned that way after Kolis took the embers of life from my father,” he said. “It’s a sort of notam—a Primal bond between the draken and the true Primal of Life. It was severed when the embers were taken, and their eye color has stayed that way since there has been no true Primal of Life—no true Primal of Life who Ascended.”
“Then why did they just—?” I sucked in a sharp breath, rising to my feet. “Did they momentarily change because of me? But I haven’t Ascended. Obviously.”
“The embers could be growing stronger in you, and that innate, Primal bond between the draken and the true Primal of Life was temporarily responding to them.”
I crossed my arms. “Okay. I mean, that’s not a big deal. Right?”
“Normally, the increase in the strength of Primal embers isn’t a big deal,” he agreed…or didn’t, because the concern was clear in his deep silver eyes.
“What is the big deal then?”
Nyktos didn’t answer for a long moment. “It could mean that you’re closer to Ascension than we realized.”
Chapter 26
Being closer to my Ascension was a big deal.
Because being closer to it with these embers still inside me also meant being closer to my death. Not even Nyktos’s blood could save me, because it required more than just his blood.
It required his love.
Something Nyktos had prevented himself from feeling with the removal of the kardia.
So, we needed to get the embers out of me, and today was the first major step in that direction.
The sky was only beginning to lighten as Nyktos and I left the palace the following morning, headed for the stables as my new iron-hued cloak trimmed in silver fluttered around my boots. The material was soft and warm, and I really hoped things didn’t get messy where I’d end up ruining my new clothing.
Nibbling on my lower lip, I glanced up at Nyktos. At some point yesterday, I’d decided that he didn’t need to know how I felt. That I…I cared for him. It didn’t seem fair to put that on him, even though I knew he cared for me, too—and even though I thought what I felt might be more.
He had his hair swept back in a neat bun at the nape of his neck, all but that shorter piece I’d cut that rested against the height of his cheekbone. He’d continued to honor the deal—both deals—that he’d struck with me, joining me for supper and then, later, proving that he was an exceptionally fast learner when it came to using his tongue. My face warmed as memories rose of his head between my thighs and his mouth on me, doing all sorts of wicked, wonderful things for what felt like a small eternity.
Nyktos looked down at me as we neared the stables. “What are you thinking about?”
My eyes widened slightly and then narrowed on him. “Stop reading my emotions.”
“I’m not.”
“Sure doesn’t sound—” I gasped as Nyktos shadowstepped without warning, grasping my arms. Within the blink of an eye, he had me against the wall of the stables, the entire front of his body pressed to mine. My breath snagged as I looked up at him. Iridescent wisps of eather bled into his irises.
Then his mouth was on mine.
Nyktos kissed me, and he—gods—he kissed like his very life depended on it, and this was one of those moments. There was no checked or banked passion. He went for it. Lips. Tongue. Fangs scraping, teasing. When his mouth left mine, my knees actually felt weak.
“You were projecting,” he whispered against my throbbing lips. “Desire.” His tongue flicked over my lower lip, drawing a gasp from me. “Smoky and thick. If you keep thinking about whatever you have in your mind, we’ll never make it to the Vale.”
Clasping the front of his cloak, I fought the urge to pull his mouth back to mine. “That wouldn’t be…responsible of us.”
“Absolutely not,” he agreed, dragging his hands down my cloaked arms. “So, behave.”
“You’re the one manhandling and kissing me,” I pointed out.
“I’d say you’re the one driving me to do so.” His lips grazed mine. “But I’ve been looking for a reason to kiss you since you licked that drop of juice from your lip at breakfast.”
“You don’t need a reason,” I told him. “All you need is want.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” His forehead touched mine. Neither of us moved for the span of several heartbeats, and I almost wished we could stay this way. But that was a silly thought. Finally, he stepped back.
I peeled myself off the wall, noticing that a handful of guards were grouped together not too far away. Nyktos must have been aware of them long before I was, but that hadn’t stopped him. Which confounded me a little as we returned to being responsible and got moving. His act—his kiss—had been rather public. And, well, I wasn’t exactly used to anyone even acknowledging my existence in public.
The scent of straw and hay reached me as we entered the stables. I quickly saw that they were empty except for the horses. “Where’s Nektas?”
Nyktos led me toward the back row of stalls, his hand on my back a steady, grounding presence. “He’ll join us on the road.”
“In his draken form?”
“No, he’ll be on horseback. It will be quicker and easier to travel that way once inside the Vale.”
Meaning it was quicker and easier for me to travel that way. Not Nektas, who could take to the sky. But I bet Nyktos had wanted the draken in his mortal form beside me.
He stopped, the dim light of the stables glinting off his cuff as he slid open a stable door. “Meet Gala.”
Peering around him, my lips parted as I saw a gorgeous mare standing in the center of the stall, already saddled as she nibbled on some hay. She was almost as large as Odin, quite a bit bigger than most horses in the mortal realm. Her coat had a unique roan pattern with white hairs on top of a black base, giving her a faint blue coloring.