Stepping out of headquarters, I head toward our tents, wondering what she’s doing at this very moment. It makes me sound like a fucking pussy considering I just got off the phone with her, but what can I say, the girl makes me stupid. She makes me think and feel things that I haven’t let myself think or feel in a long-ass time—things like marriage, kids, love, and a future away from here. A future where I can go to bed with her gorgeous body wrapped around mine and wake up every morning to her beautiful face. Those are the things I’m thinking of, the things I’m dreaming of, and the things I’m determined to make happen, because what I feel for Katie surpasses normal human reasoning. I have to make it back to her. I have to feel her in my arms and make her mine. There isn’t any other option.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” a voice calls out just as I’m about to enter the tent. I look over my shoulder, and under the moonlight I see Navas seated by the fire pit with a half-smoked cigar clenched between his fingers. I stop in my tracks, then spin around and walk toward him. Hooking my foot around the leg of a chair, I pull it toward his and take a seat.
“What?” I ask, feeling the smile still tugging at the corners of my lips. I fight the damn thing the best I can, but it’s a losing battle.
“That shit-eating grin you got. It about blinded me when you walked past.” He laughs and slaps a hand against his thigh.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, pulling a cigarette from the pack and lighting it.
“The fuck you don’t,” Navas says with a chuckle. “You pretty much live at the Comm Center now! You really are into this girl, huh?”
“You already know I am, fucker.”
“Why don’t you want to talk about it?” he asks, looking me intently in the eye as if trying to read me.
“I don’t know, man. I guess I figured you’d think it was all crazy. Fuck, sometimes I even think it’s fucking crazy.” I take a long drag of my cigarette and think about the words that just came out of my mouth. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about.
“What’s crazy about it?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to the girl in ten fucking years.” And you have no idea what I did to her, I think to myself, knowing full well that not talking to her for ten years doesn’t mean shit.
“Have you talked on the phone, or webcammed, or has it just been letters and emails?” His eyes quiz me even harder now as he puffs at his cigar. He looks like a mob boss interrogating a potential snitch. I can’t say I like these reversed roles very much.
“First phone call was just now,” I say, letting the fresh memory of the conversation tug at my attention. God, her voice is perfect. So soft and delicate … the kind a guy would be lucky to have whispering ‘good morning’ from the pillow beside him. I wonder if her heart raced like mine did during our call?
“No, shit?! That’s cool, man. How’d it go?”
“It was …” I trail off, my thoughts still on the call, my mind filled with images of her wrapped tightly in my arms. “Perfect.”
“You going to call her again tomorrow … or, fuck, I guess it’d be tonight?” he asks, rising to his feet and throwing the cigar butt in the pit. Taking one last drag of my cigarette, I flick it to the ground and then follow him to the tents.
“Yeah, I think I just might do that.”
My day went by as slow as hell, mostly because I was counting the minutes until I could get back to the Comm Center. Good God, I sound like a fucking girl. I look around, half expecting someone to walk up and shoot a bullet through my man card.
When I’m certain I’m alone, I pick up the phone and dial her number. Each ring raises my level of anxiety, and I shift around nervously in the seat. I hope she picks up. Another ring and I’m wishing I had actually scheduled a call with her.
“Hello?” Her sweet voice sends a jolt of electricity through my system, leaving me breathless and at a complete loss for words. “Hello?” she says again, bringing me to my senses.
“Hey, sorry, it’s Devin … hi!” Fuck, I just sounded like a little kid.
“Devin.” She releases my name in a husky breath, and the sound makes my dick go instantly hard. Closing my eyes, I picture us sitting together on the couch, her legs straddling my hips, my hands roaming ever so slowly up her arched back—
“I was hoping you would call. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if you would or not, but I was hoping …”
“You were?”
“Mmm-hmm,” she purrs. The sound is too fucking erotic, and I have to reach down and rearrange my junk.
“This whole time difference thing makes it a little difficult. I wasn’t sure when would be the best time to call you.”
“You can call me anytime.” Her voice may be soft but her words speak volumes, and something inside of me clicks—something that I’ve been worrying about. This is real. “No matter when it is, I’ll do my best to answer … promise.” The sweetness in her promise makes me ache to have her near me, and I have to change the subject before I do something stupid like beg her to marry me. Because that would totally be stupid. Right?
“How was your day?”
“Uneventful,” she says with a sigh. “I had today off, so I went for a run this morning and did some shopping this afternoon.”
“Run?” I laugh, remembering how much she used to despise running in P.E. “The Katie I know isn’t a runner.”
“Knew … the Katie you knew wasn’t a runner. A lot has changed over the last decade.”
The smile falls from my face for several reasons. First, because she’s right. A lot has changed. And second, because it does nothing but drive home the knowledge that I don’t really know her anymore, and maybe more has changed than I think.
“Okay, I totally lied.” Her husky laugh travels south, and my cock goes from rock solid to throbbing against the confines of my zipper. “I’m so not a runner. But I tried! I really did try. I got up at the break of dawn, laced up my Asics and ran around the block.”
“You ran around the block?”
“It’s a big block.”
“You’re so full of shit,” I joke, feeling the smile slide back onto my face. “I bet you didn’t even run the whole way.”
“I hate you.”
“Because I’m right. You totally walked, didn’t you?”
“I jogged,” she corrects. “There’s a big difference. And enough about me.” She huffs, but the amusement is clear in her voice. “How was your day?”
“Boring … but a boring day is a good day over here.” I pause and think about how lucky we’ve been as of late. Not much has happened since the incident with the girl, and the missions have run smoothly thus far. In my experience, that means something is bound to happen. There’s always a calm before the storm.
“What’s it like over there? And what do you do … wait, am I allowed to ask that?”
“Yeah, you can ask that.” I laugh, secretly loving that she wants to know more about me. “It’s nothing too special. We’re on something called a combat outpost, so it’s pretty small … just bare essentials. A few buildings, one of which I’m in now, and some tents we stay in. A couple of porta-potties but no shower.”
“No shower? Yikes!” She laughs but catches herself, as if she feels bad for jesting me.
“No, you have no idea. Our tents have a smell that could be collected and used as a biological weapon. It’s beyond bad.” She laughs loudly through the phone and it makes me want to continue, if only to hear that sweet sound again. “I do my absolute best with baby wipes and water bottles, but some of these guys over here have a misunderstanding of what good hygiene is. I swear this guy Elkins hasn’t changed his uniform in months. You could stand it upright without him in it.”
“Oh God,” she slips out between laughs.