And then it happens … the chime … the system booting up. It’s fixed! Every tense muscle in my body relaxes. I settle into the seat and let out a long sigh of relief. Then, without hesitation, I quickly pull up my email.
There are four messages from Katie, and I read each of them—more than once. With each one, my heart both breaks and then mends, and when my mind finally puts together the messages she left me in the form of subject lines, my heart expands to epic proportions.
She wants me.
She wants us.
I say, hell yes.
Tears blur my eyes, but I blink them away. I have to let her know that I’m okay. I check my watch.
0600.
Struggling to do the math in my head, I finally realize that it’s only ten where she’s at, so I rip the phone from the cradle, dialing her number as fast as my fingers will move.
“We Can Try”—Between The Trees
DIPPING MY HANDS INTO THE hot, soapy water, I reach for a glass and then perform the same monotonous routine that I’ve been performing on this load of dishes for the past twenty minutes.
Scrub. Rinse. Repeat.
My eyes have been locked on a little girl playing in her yard across the street, but my mind isn’t processing what my hands are doing or what my eyes are seeing. I’ve had a one-track mind for the past several days, and it’s been on Devin.
I’ve carried my phone around in my hand like it’s attached to my body, and every time it rings, my heart stutters to a stop. But it’s never him, and with each day that’s passed, what little hope I had left has slowly started to fade.
A soft knock sounds at the door, but instead of moving to answer it, I just yell at whoever is there to come in. Probably not the smartest idea, but right now I don’t really care. My mind drifts back to thoughts of Devin when I hear the front door open and then shut, followed by the soft shuffle of someone walking toward me. Hopefully it’s not a serial killer. I take that back—
“Hey, Kit Kat.” At the gentle sound of Bailey’s voice, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and pray to whoever is willing to listen that she takes pity on me, because I’m not up for much of a fight right now.
Pulling my hands from the sink, I dry them off with a towel and then turn around and prop myself up against the counter. Bailey is standing in the doorway, her shoulders hunched forward, her hands wringing together. I can’t help but wonder what in the hell she’s so nervous about.
My silence must be unnerving because she takes a step forward and says, “Thank you for taking care of me the other night.”
Scrunching my nose, I think back to what she’s talking about, and then I remember her drunken evening. “You were gone when I got up.”
“Yeah”—she clears her throat—“sorry about that. I should’ve waited for you to get up, but I was embarrassed and still a little frustrated with you … well, more with myself … anyway, I just needed to get out.”
“How did you get home? You didn’t have your car.”
“My car was only a mile down the road at the bar, so I just walked.” Bailey’s eyes dart to the kitchen table and then back to me. “Mind if I sit?”
“Oh, um, no … go ahead, sit.” I stay standing. Right here, I feel absolutely nothing, but if I move … well, if I move, that might change. And I really don’t want that to change.
Bailey pulls out a chair, sits down and props her elbows up on the table. The room is eerily quiet, and judging by the way she’s shifting in her seat, it’s making her uncomfortable.
“Mama told me about Devin,” she blurts. I can’t say that I’m surprised.
“What do you want me to say, Bailey?”
“Nothing.” Her eyes soften and she shakes her head. “I just … I wanted you to know that I’m here for you if you need me. I know things have been a little rough between us, but you’re still my sister, and I want you to know that if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to sit down and eat a pint of cookie dough ice cream with, I’m your girl.”
Her words wrap themselves around my heart, and suddenly, the urge to close myself off isn’t as strong. But I don’t give in because giving in means feeling, and right now I’m specifically trying not to feel.
“Thank you, Bailey.”
She huffs and cocks her head to the side. Those three little words must not have been what she was expecting. “I’m sorry, Katie. There, I said it. I’m sorry for pushing you and for getting mad about the whole Wyatt thing. You were right, it wasn’t my business. I just—”
My phone rings, cutting her off, and both of our eyes dart to the tiny silver contraption as it jumps across the table with each vibration. My heart stutters to a complete stop, and much like every other time my phone rings, adrenaline pumps through my veins. Closing my eyes, I attempt to calm myself down, but it doesn’t work. It never fucking works.
“Here.” My eyes pop open in time to see Bailey reach for my cell. She looks at the screen and then up at me. “Unknown number. Want me to hit ‘ignore’?”
“NO!” Lunging forward, I snatch the phone from her hand, flip it open and push it against my ear. “Hello?”
“Katie.” His voice cracks through the line; it’s the sweetest fucking sound I’ve ever heard. Tears spring to my eyes and my trembling hand flies to my mouth. All of the tension instantly drains from my body as I slump against the cabinets and slide to the floor in a blubbering mess.
Bailey pushes from the table, runs across the room and drops to her knees beside me, enveloping me in her arms. The faint sound of Devin’s voice filters through the phone, but I can’t hear him over the cries coming from my mouth.
“Devin,” I gasp in between sobs. “Oh, God. I didn’t ...” A strangled moan rips through my lungs, my body rocking forward as my mind finally allows me to believe that this is real.
He’s alive.
“Please don’t cry, Katie. I’m okay.” Devin’s voice is soft and gentle, and I can tell by the hitch in his voice that he’s feeling just as emotional as I am. My lungs fight to suck in air, and when I’m finally able to catch my breath, my eyes look heavenward and I mouth a silent ‘thank you’ to whomever has been listening to my prayers. Looking down, I find Bailey watching me questioningly, and I give her a tremulous smile and nod. She slowly releases her hold and kisses me on the cheek before walking out of the room, presumably to give me privacy.
“I can’t help it.” I hiccup as I fight past the burning in my chest to just speak. “The explosion … and then the line went dead … you never called or emailed, and I had no way to get ahold of you, and …” With each word, the tears are returning at full force, emotion clogging my throat. “I thought you were gone. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again, and—”
“And now you’re hearing from me,” he breathes. “Because I’m okay. Shit, Katie, I can’t stand to hear you cry.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” My voice is thick—strangled. “You have no idea what went through my head, Devin. I just got you back, and then the thought of losing you, it …” The words fell from my mouth before I even had a chance to process what I was saying, but now that they’re out there, I don’t regret saying them. Because it’s true. He’s back in my heart—hell, he never fucking left.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper, batting away my tears. Devin’s breathing sounds labored and heavy as though the weight of the world was just lifted from his shoulders.
“You’re not going to lose me, Katie,” he vows. “Getting ahold of you, getting back to you, it’s all I thought about. You were all I thought about.” We both go quiet but the faint sounds of sniffling and heavy breathing still pass through the line. I’m not sure who’s doing what, but I honestly don’t care.