I climbed into the back. Ted didn't even wait for me to close the door, just hit the acceleration and climbed into the air at an angle steep enough to scare the nickels out of my jeans.
"Wheee-oww!" hollered Dinnie, with elaborate enthusiasm. She applauded the takeoff, and bowed in her seat to the pilot. Maybe it should be a double murder.
Ted leveled off into an easier climb. Dinnie turned around to look at me. "So wasn't Uncle Daniel terrific, Jim?"
"Who?"
"Dr. Fromkin."
"He's your uncle?"
"Well, not legally." She pointed her nose upward. "He's my spiritual uncle. Ideationists are all one big family, you know."
"Oh," I said.
"You met Fromkin?" That was Ted. "You didn't tell me."
"You didn't ask. He's um-interesting." I said to Dinnie, "Do you work for him?"
"Oh, no-but we're very good friends. I probably know him better than anybody. The man's a genius."
"If you say so." I didn't know. He had seemed like just another pompous ass to me.
She said, "Plowboys should never pull on number-one guns. You're lucky he was in a good mood." She explained to Ted. "Jim challenged him."
"Jim?" Ted was quietly incredulous. "Our Jimmy?"
"I just asked him about-oh, never mind." My face was burning.
Dinnie turned to me. "So how was Jillanna?"
"Huh?" said Ted. "Who's Jillanna?"
"Jim went off with her last night. Everybody noticed."
"I hadn't realized I was so... popular," I mumbled.
"Oh, it wasn't you. It's Jillanna. She's got quite a reputation. There was this Air Force colonel who died in the saddle-a `massive coronary event'-but Jillanna didn't stop; not until she finished her own ride. You've got to respect a woman with that kind of control. And let's face it-how many can fuck you till your ears bleed?" Dinnie looked at me with wide-eyed frankness. "So, punkin? Was she good enough to stop your heart?"
"Mmfle," I mmfled. "I didn't do anything with her." Maybe I should just throw myself from the car.
"That's our Jimmy," said Ted. I could see the grin even on the back of his head.
"What a waste," said Dinnie, turning forward again. "Jillanna is so beautiful. She even put the make on me once, but I had to turn her down. Now I wish I hadn't, but I had taken a vow of celibacy for a year. Just to prove I could. There were just too many people trying to climb into my panties. Mother! I was wearing myself out."
Something in the back of my head went twang. Ted had gone social climbing last night-deliberately-and come up with this? She continued on, candidly. "It was a good thing I did, though. It made me appreciate things all the more. I mean, I must have come at least eleven times last night. I know you did," she said to Ted. "Then I lost count."
Good lord! I folded my arms across my chest and turned to the window. Did I really need to hear all this? Below, I could see huge burned-out areas-swaths of blackened rubble that marred the even march of avenues to the horizon.
Hardly anything moved. No cars, no buses, no pedestrians, no bicyclists-there was nothing. I saw three dogs trotting down the middle of a street and that was all. The stillness of that silent landscape was unnerving.
Someone had inscribed a giant graffito along a block-long wall. The letters must have been three meters high; it was readable even from the air. It said: WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE?"
There was dust, sweeping down in yellow gusts, piling up against a wall or curb or house. Would there be desert here-or what? Or would the prairie just reclaim the land, preserving almost perfectly a record of the last days of our civilization for some distant unseen archaeologists?
What would they make of us, those prying future eyes? I found myself resenting them. How dare they dig into our tragedy! Dinnie broke the mood.
She was patting her hair into place with one hand; it was a peculiar orange color. "So many people just don't understand how sensitive he is; I do. The man is too talented. If he ever learns to control his tools, he'll be dangerous."
I looked at Ted, wondering-what had he been thinking of? -but he was expressionless now. Occasionally he would nod or grunt, but his reactions were only noncommittal acknowledgments. Dinnie didn't seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't seem to mind. Good lord! Didn't her tongue ever get sunburned?!
"What's your meeting about?" I asked Ted.
He opened his mouth to answer-and Dinnie said, "It's the Spiralist Free World Association."
"Spiralism? You're going in for Spiralism now? I-" Stopped myself. "Never mind-" I held up both my hands. "-It's not my business. Everybody gets to go to hell in their own handbasket."
"It's only a breakfast, Jim-" he started to say.
Dinnie plowed right over him. "They're really charming people. And it's at Ragamuffin's, which is one of the few places that knows how to serve a decent continental breakfast-although I have to say, I don't think their wine list is very good, so I wouldn't recommend them for anything past brunch. Did I tell you how I once sent back the sommelier?"
Suddenly, I was no longer angry at Ted. He'd found a far more appropriate fate than anything I could plan for him. "Well, it certainly sounds ... uh, interesting. Um-will they be drinking the blood of any gentile babies this morning?"
I saw Ted's quick glance to the rearview mirror-he caught the expression on my face, how far my tongue was in my cheek. At least it was in my own cheek.
"Listen, Jim," he said, seriously. "I'm going to leave you off outside the hotel. But it's not really a hotel anymore. Uncle Sam's taken it over, using it as a temporary conference center. For the duration. So that makes it permanent. Anyway, I've gotten us both C-clearances-don't ask-so you'll have access to just about every formal session and most of the informal ones. I don't know if that includes the red-lined ones. You'll have to scout that out yourself-but carefully. Listen, you don't want your credentials examined too closely; you're valid, but just barely, so try to be inconspicuous, okay?"
"Sure-sounds good to me. But how did you do it?"
"I come from a long line of dog-robbers. Now, listen-you'll have to check in, first thing. Dial CORDCOM-REG; any of the terminals can rewrite your card. Oh, and by the way, your clearance also entitles you to use the vehicle pool. Unlimited access. It's very convenient. You don't have to bother with Rec-Rec's paperwork. You can have almost anything except the President's limousine or a Patton charger."
"Now, why would I want a laser-equipped tank?"
Ted shrugged. "For the fun of it?" The car bumped as it hit the road, bounced once and settled heavily. Ted touched the brakes lightly to bring the cruising speed down.
"You could get it, you know, if you really wanted it. Because you're-um, military. Special, you know? That's where the clearances came from too. All you have to do is take a couple hours training. And prove you have a real need for it."
"I'll pass, thanks."
"Well, keep it in mind. Could you imagine the look on Duke's face-or Obie's-if you drove up in one of those?"
I thought about it. No, I couldn't imagine it.
Ted turned onto a ramp and pulled up at a convenient side entrance. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Sure. Uh, nice meeting you, Dinnie." I stepped back as they rolled away. Spiralism?
I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets and headed into the hotel-huh? What was this? Oh, Dr. Obama's lockbox. I'd almost forgotten I was carrying it.
I found a row of terminals and slid into a booth. It took only a moment to register with CORDCOM. My card disappeared into the slot, then rolled out again, overprinted with a yellow stripe. A large C in a red box had also been printed in the upper right corner. Was that it?
I cleared and punched for Directory, Lieutenant Colonel Ira Wallachstein.
The screen flashed: SORRY, NOT FOUND. Huh?
Maybe I had miskeyed. I typed it again.