‘That’s all over now,’ she declared. ‘And because of you all I have a future. A future that I am looking forward to more than I can properly express in words, although I’ve tried to express everything else in words over these last few months…’ She hesitated, looking directly at Jeremy Hall. ‘… It’s a future I am going to share with the brilliant lawyer who, can you believe, I once told I didn’t want in my life. And now without whom I couldn’t live. So I am very glad I won’t have to…’ She raised her glass. ‘I’ve just drunk to you all so now I invite all of you to drink to Jeremy and I. And to our future together
…’
There was a babble of congratulation and Dawson demanded to perform the wedding ceremony and they agreed at once. There were more toasts, to the success of the book, and it was gone midnight when the two doctors helped the unsteady priest to bed. Before he went upstairs Hall managed to separate himself sufficiently from those who remained downstairs to say he wouldn’t expect her that night. Jennifer, who was slightly and happily drunk, retorted that she wouldn’t be denied anything on her official engagement night and would come if she thought Emily was sleeping soundly enough.
She’d had caterers in for the evening and spent some time seeing them off the premises, finally checking the kitchen before going upstairs herself.
Emily still slept with a low night-light, which Annabelle had moved into Jennifer’s bedroom when she’d settled the child down. Emily was sprawled sideways across the bed and stirred and muttered something from her growing-up dream when Jennifer lifted her back to one side so that she could get into the other.
Having done so Jennifer remained propped up on one arm, looking down. Emily’s hair was curled out, on the pillow, and she’d put her thumb in her mouth and was sucking, noisily. Jennifer felt an engulfing, overwhelming rush of love. So perfect, she thought: so perfect and beautiful and wonderful.
‘Emily,’ she whispered, softly. ‘My Emily. I love you, my darling.’
Her arm began to numb, from the way she was supporting herself, so she lay back to take her weight off it. And then the numbness seized her, paralysing her.
‘ Hello Jennifer,’ said Jane.
Chapter Thirty-nine
‘ Jesus, I’ve been bored! Almost couldn’t wait, several times. Glad I did though. This is perfect: everyone I want, all in the same place at the same time. Here, where it happened the first time…
‘ There have been a few bright moments, but not a lot: difficult not to have hysterics at all that exorcism shit from the priest…’ The voice deepened, mockingly. ‘… “ This, my child, is a miracle. Proof that God loves us. ” And what a hypocritical cow you turned out to be, pretending you believed it. I know what believing is and you sure as Hell haven’t got it. It was fun, conning the old motherfucker, though. Conning you all. Remember how clever I was! How I stopped swearing and pretended to be contrite, repentant…! ’ There was another voice change, deep again. ‘“ Pray with me, my child: seek God’s forgiveness
…”’ Then high, childlike. ‘ Oh, yes please! Forgive me, God, for I have sinned!
‘ And don’t I know about sin. I’m a practising expert. Learned it all from dear Daddy, beloved Bishop, the man of God. Taught me all the lines, all the bullshit, and was like every other man. Preached from a pulpit on Sunday and fucked every woman he could lay his hands on every other day of the week while he spent Mummy’s money impressing everybody what a good guy he was. Mummy didn’t die in a boating accident. She committed suicide – drowned herself – for what she couldn’t tolerate: not the fucking of every other woman. When she saw him hit on me. He never fucked me hut he wanted to: was panting for it. So I set the whole thing up. Asked them both, but separately, to see my confirmation dress on the day of the ceremony: asked him to come to my room first. I was waiting for him, naked. Let him feel, so he’d be doing it when Mummy came. I wanted her to divorce the bastard: cut him off without a penny, so he couldn’t buy his respect any more. But she killed herself instead. For the rest of his life I kept him never knowing if I’d tell anyone. And at home I always walked about naked, taunting him with what he couldn’t have. Drove him mad. And I loved it. Loved torturing the dirty, lying, cheating bastard. A cheating bastard of God.
‘ That’s when I decided the Devil was more fun, all those years ago. That’s how I amused myself, when I got here. Used to pretend to all the Jesus jockeys and kneel among them and when they prayed to their God I prayed to mine for my father to burn in Hell in more agony than anyone else. Imagine that: I became a bigger, better hypocrite than Bishop Daddy, which is what he made me call him.
‘ Think what I’ve done, Jennifer. Dawson was right. I really am the Devil incarnate. I left my blood and fingerprints and hair for DNA on purpose. I really did! I planned it. I’ve legally proved in a court of law that ghosts exist. I’ve fucked religion. When I’ve finished tonight there are going to be Devil cults all over the world, praying to me.
‘ That’s the most brilliant part of everything I’ve done but it was fun torturing you like I tortured Bishop Daddy. You really believed you’d worked out the numbness, to tell you when I was with you, all by yourself, didn’t you! I did it on purpose, shit-for-brains: all of it. Made you numb when I wanted to, didn’t bother when I intended you and the idiots with you to imagine you were free. You’ve never been free. There hasn’t been a moment when I haven’t been there, knowing everything that’s been going on. Never will be. Christ I can’t believe how stupid you all were! ’
Jennifer struggled to move but couldn’t. Her mouth was frozen half open but no sound came when she tried to scream: she couldn’t even move her tongue.
‘… Don’t tire yourself, honey. You’re not going to do or say anything for yourself any more. Just for me. What I want to do.
‘ Your boyfriend’s not much good in the fuck stakes, is he? I’ve seen bigger dicks on newborn babies. Hardly knows how to use it, either. You did a good job, faking orgasms, Jennifer. Best supporting role in our own very special Oscar nominations, how about that! Not a bad lawyer, though. I was frightened no-one was going to pick up on the clues I’d left behind: thought I was going to have to have you do it. Wasn’t that phoney trial a scream! Another time I could hardly stop myself laughing. Interesting, what he found out though. Would have put Gerald in the gas chamber, where he belonged… And he got it right about why I’m doing this to you: nothing at all about my murder. Always knew you weren’t involved in that…’
Emily stirred, turning in her sleep and throwing an arm out as she did so. Jennifer could feel the warmth from the little hand.
‘… That book you’ve spent so much time on – not bad, by the way – is going to round it all off very nicely, isn’t it? I’m going to be the one to provide the ending you could not make up your mind about. One you never thought of… my very own Bible, for all my waiting worshippers…
‘ Now here’s what we’re going to do, Jennifer. We’re going to kill Emily first. And then Jeremy: he’s expecting you, after all. After that we’ll just take them out as they come, simply wander down the corridor, helping ourselves: the priest and Cox and Lloyd and the psychiatrist. And those other fucking lawyers. Might as well include Annabelle while we’re about it. How many’s that? Eight and the brat. That’ll do.
‘ And don’t think you’ll be able to stop me. Oh, and don’t think I’ll let you commit suicide, either. I’ll stop you ever doing that. You’re going to suffer until you’re a very old lady for taking Gerald away from me. That really was your crime, taking him from me. Mine was believing he was any different from all the other men. But then that was yours, too, wasn’t it?