She’s silent for a minute. “Jesus… you are a pussy, aren’t you?”
I look over and see she’s smiling playfully. I frown. “Be aware that I am yet to develop any reservations about shooting you.”
She pouts. “What about the whole ‘no women, no kids’ rule?”
I laugh. “That’s not a rule! This isn’t a movie — if you’ve done something awful enough to warrant someone sending me after you, then you’re going to die, simple as that. Yeah, I won’t shoot a kid, but that’s my own choice. I know plenty of people who probably would. Besides, you’re not a woman — you’re a killer.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not a woman? Do you want me to prove you wrong? Because you know I will…”
“No, I’m good thanks. Not that you’re not lovely and everything, but I’m driving and, y’know, too much of a good thing, et cetera…”
We share a laugh, and the lighter mood helps me relax more. Makes me think back to the good ol’ days when I was talking to Josh on the phone, traveling solo around the country. Despite working hard over the last few years to ensure my days of doing that were over, right now I’d give anything to trade this in and go back to those simpler times. Just for a little while.
We shoot past a sign for Chambersburg.
Hang on a minute…
We’re heading straight for…
“Shit.”
Ruby looks over. “What is it?”
I’m the first to admit geography has never really been my strong point. Further proof of how reliant I was on Josh — he would always tell me where to be and how to get there, so I never paid much attention. But I’ve just realized something…
“We’re gonna drive straight through Virginia…”
Ruby shrugs. “That a problem?”
I nod. “The CIA wants me dead. Langley’s its home. Plus, we’ll be within spitting distance of the White House before that…”
“So we’ll just keep a low profile… it’ll be fine. You worry too much — you’ll get an ulcer or something.” She settles back in her seat, closing her eyes.
I sigh. “I think you’re missing the point. The CIA, and presumably the president, knows I have evidence to bury them — that’s why they want me dead. They also know I’m a pretty good assassin. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that at some point I might try killing someone. It’s kind of my go-to solution to most problems. So the closer we are to them—”
“…The more security there’ll be,” she nods as she finishes my sentence, finally seeing where I was going with it. “So what do you want to do?”
“Not much we can do, I guess. Whether you like it or not, we need someone of The European’s caliber on our side, and we don’t really have the time to detour a couple hundred miles west just to avoid the more direct route on the slight chance we might—” Lights flash in my rearview, and the sound of sirens follows a moment later, distracting me. It’s a squad car with two officers in it. “—be seen… Fuck!”
Ruby sits up straight in her seat and looks over her shoulder. “Are they signaling to us?”
“Yup.”
“What are you going to do?”
I shrug. “Try my best not to shoot them and hope they don’t look in the back.”
The big bag of goodies we got from Oscar is in the back under some tarpaulin, in case you’re wondering.
I pull over to the side of the road and roll my window down. I see the cops in the mirror fall in behind us. They both step out of their car, look around, and adjust their belts to look casual but threatening. They exchange a glance and then approach the truck.
I look at Ruby. “Let me do the talking, okay?”
Let me do the talking… Jesus, we’re screwed!
They draw level with us, and the guy on my side leans down. He looks older than me — gray hair and a weathered face… maybe mid-fifties. “License and registration please.”
“Is there a problem, officer?” I try to sound as normal and innocent as possible while pretending to search for things I obviously don’t have with me.
“I hope not, son.”
I look over at Ruby. She’s doing her best to flirt silently with the younger officer at her side, but so far he seems to be resisting her charms.
“I don’t have them with me, sorry — must be in my other jacket… What’s this about?”
The cop stands up straight and takes a step away from the truck, reaching forward and opening my door as he does. “Can you step out of the vehicle please, sir?”
I sigh. “You’re not gonna tell me what this is about? This could be viewed as harassment, you know that, right?”
He doesn’t bite, remaining calm and stubborn. “Sir, would you please step out of the vehicle?”
I do, albeit reluctantly.
“Is this your truck?”
Oh.
I shrug. “I’m driving it.”
“Answer the goddamn question, and don’t get cute with me.”
“Yes, it’s my truck.”
“This vehicle was reported stolen from a parking lot in Baltimore yesterday afternoon.”
I glance back at the old, brown rust bucket that has served me well these past thirty hours or so. I catch the eye of the other officer standing by Ruby’s door. His face is expressionless. I can’t tell if that’s disinterest or genuine ignorance. Either way, whether this is me springing a trap or just running out of luck, I can’t afford to get delayed by the police. And I definitely can’t let these assholes put me in the system — all hell would break loose.
I need to do something, and in these types of situations, I only really have one approach…
I turn back to the cop in front of me. “Doesn’t look stolen to me… It’s right there.”
He looks away for a second with frustration, letting out a heavy sigh. “Alright, smartass, move to the front of the vehicle, turn around, and put your hands on the hood.”
I shrug again. “Make me.”
He moves his hand to his holster, unclipping the piece of material securing his firearm in place. “Don’t test me. Move around the vehicle… and put your hands on the goddamn hood!”
I pace slowly to the front of the truck, lean forward on the hood, and spread my legs. I look up and glance through the windshield at Ruby, who’s staring at me, silently asking what I intend to do.
Good question…
If I let these pricks arrest me, it’s game over. If I knock him out and run, it’s game over. These are my only options, and either way I’m screwed.
But knocking him out is more fun…
I flick my gaze to her door and wink at her.
The cop moves behind me. I look over my shoulder at him. “Put your hands on me, and I’ll break them.”
The younger one by Ruby’s door looks over; his hand disappearing to his side hovering over his firearm.
“Threatening a police officer with violence?” says the one behind me. “That’s it. I’m placing you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent—”
“You first!” I spin around clockwise and bring my elbow up, slamming it into his face. He staggers back, losing his footing and falling to the ground.
Behind me, I hear Ruby’s door open. I look back in time to see her ram it into the other cop’s body. He stumbles backward and she steps out, moves toward him, and kneels down out of sight behind the truck.
I turn back to my cop, who’s reeling on the ground. I take a step and crouch beside him to pick up his weapon. “Look, I’m sorry about this, I really am. This isn’t personal. But there’s some shit going on right now that’s so far above your pay grade that you can’t see it for the sun, you understand? You’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”