I hit him again in the face, which knocks him out cold. I stand, tuck the gun in the waistband of my jeans, and turn around. Ruby’s walking toward me holding the other cop’s gun.
“You good?”
She nods. “He’s out. Figured you wouldn’t want him too injured…”
“Thanks. After all, it’s not their fault. Come on.”
She sighs. “Pussy.”
I walk over to the squad car, aware that the road isn’t exactly quiet and people are going to remember seeing this, and us.
“What are you doing?” she calls after me.
I duck inside, reach under the dash, and fumble around until I find the wires for the computer built into the center console. I yank them out and stand up, grabbing the radio as I move away and turn to face Ruby.
“Just making sure they can’t tell anyone they’ve seen us.” I drop the radio to the ground and stamp on it.
She smiles. “Good thinking!” She points her gun at the front tire and fires once.
“Jesus! What are you doing?”
She shrugs. “Now they can’t follow us, either.”
“Yeah, but you could’ve just let the air out or something… Firing your gun isn’t exactly—”
She raises an eyebrow and smiles.
“—discreet… Never mind.” I sigh. “Christ, you’re worse than me.”
“Is that a compliment?”
I shrug. “Depends on your point of view, I guess.”
I walk past her and get back in the truck. She climbs in beside me. “We need to ditch this car. Chambersburg’s only a few miles away, so we’ll detour there.”
“Can we get something to eat? Maybe change our clothes again?” she asks.
I ease away from the roadside to rejoin the line of traffic. I check my mirror but there’s no immediate movement that worries me. “Yeah, why not.”
Ruby insisted we stop at a Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast. I’m not happy. Apart from being sick to death of seeing them everywhere I go, it’s just not natural! I mean, I’m sitting here with a glazed donut in front of me, which by itself would be fine, but this one’s been sliced horizontally and had bacon and egg shoved inside it! This isn’t food! It’s just a very confused, cross-dressing dessert pretending to be breakfast! When I die from the inevitable heart attack this is likely to bring about, I’m really going to hate myself. If I wasn’t so hungry, there’s no way I would ever eat here…
“Just eat it,” says Ruby, sitting across from me.
I look up at her unable to hide the disgust from my face as she takes a bite of her meal.
She shrugs, swallowing her mouthful of food. “What?”
“What do you mean, what? You’re eating a goddamn cheeseburger inside a donut. How am I the only one who finds that criminal?”
She takes another bite, not bothering to finish chewing before replying. “I’ve been incarcerated in an insane asylum for almost a year. This shit is heaven!”
She swallows again and takes a sip of her drink — some weird ice-based slush thing with fruit in it, apparently.
I push my meal away from me. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming here.”
“You’re such a snob!”
“No I’m not. I just feel that filling my arteries with this shit is depriving the CIA of their chance to kill me. I mean, they’ve been working so hard…”
She shakes her head. “Whatever. What’s our next move?”
I take a sip of coffee, which is tolerable at best, and think about it. “Well, we’re still a good few hours away from Greensboro. We’ll change clothes quickly, switch cars, then get the hell outta Dodge. The longer we stay in one place, the greater the chance of us getting caught.”
A waitress walks over to our table. “Is everything alright with your meals today, folks?” she asks, looking at me.
I can’t do it… I can’t lie to her. No, my meal’s not okay. It’s a travesty — an insult to all food. It’s unnatural, and despite years of perfecting the art of self-loathing, even I don’t hate myself enough to put my body through the torturous experience of eating whatever the fuck it is I just paid eleven bucks for.
I sigh and grit my teeth. “It’s… ah… it’s fine. Thanks.”
She frowns at me. I’m guessing I wasn’t able to keep the disdain out of my voice. The waitress turns to Ruby, who smiles at her. “Ignore him.” She gestures to me casually. “He’s just grumpy because he hasn’t been laid in a while.”
I fix her with a stare I usually reserve exclusively for people I’m about to shoot. The waitress goes bright red and walks away, avoiding my gaze as she turns.
“Thanks for that.”
She shrugs. “Well, it serves you right.”
“For what?”
“Being miserable.”
“Being—? It’s a donut with fucking bacon in it!”
She looks at me like I’m an alien.
“Oh, whatever.” I stand and stretch my back a little. “I need to make a call. Wait here.”
I head over to the back near the restrooms, where it’s quiet. I take out my burner phone and dial a number from memory. As it rings out, I turn to quickly survey the restaurant.
I can’t believe how busy this place is. We were lucky to get a table when we arrived. Our booth’s over by the window, which is useful — means we can see who’s approaching. I’m actually surprised there haven’t been more cops showing up, given this place is a donut-themed breakfast bar. Unbelievab—
“Hello?”
I smile at the dulcet British tone. “Josh, it’s me.”
“Adrian? Where are you?”
“I’m standing by the restrooms in a Dunkin’ Donuts in the middle of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.”
“What the hell are you doing in one of those?”
“I have no earthly idea. I was dragged here by Ruby.”
“Ruby?”
“DeSouza. She’s a…” I lower my voice and casually look around. “…She’s one of us. She’s agreed to help me on my next job.”
“Ah, right. So you settled on the recruitment plan then?”
“Yeah. Didn’t have much choice. How are things with you?”
“Busy. My new team’s on a mission at the moment, and I’m running intel for them.”
“Can’t you just hire someone to do that for you nowadays?”
“I could, but it’s hard finding people I can trust, y’know?”
“Yeah, I know that feeling.”
“So what can I do for you, boss?”
I smile again. “Nothing, really. Just… y’know, checking in.”
“Adrian, do you… do you miss me?”
I scoff. “No, ’course not.”
I do a little, but I’m not telling him that.
“Ah, you miss me! Boss, I’m touched, really I am.”
“Oh, shut your face.”
He laughs. “Listen, have you seen the news today?”
“No, why? Am I on it?”
“Not this time, no. Not yet, anyway — I suppose it’s still early…”
“Piss off.”
He laughs, but it soon fades. “There’s a lot of tension overseas at the moment. Lots of rebel activity in certain regions, and refugees from all over are killing themselves trying to find a new life in other countries.”
“Shit… I suppose you had to expect something like this after everything that’s happened. Still doesn’t make it any easier, though, I guess. How are your employees finding it?”
“We’re coping, for now. Our peacekeeping forces have come under fire in certain parts of Eastern Europe and Africa — local rebels, mostly. It’s nothing we can’t handle. It’s just becoming a more regular problem.”