“Do you know each other?” asked Ezhov, indicating each of them with his finger. “This is the prosecutor, and this is my daughter.”
The brunette closed her eyes for a second and then stretched her hand to the guests for a handshake.
“Now, let us have a drink,” said Ezhov, pouring three shots. “To our guests! You are God’s people, and I will drink to keep you company. Thirty-three at once. To your health.”
They had a drink. Grishutkin chose a pickle and started eating ham. The doctor drank, and sighed. Mr. Tulpansky smoked a cigar, after first asking for permission from the lady, and when he smiled, everyone saw that he had all thirty-three teeth in his mouth.
“Now what, gentlemen? Your shots are empty, and we cannot wait. Doctor, let’s have a drink to medicine. I love medicine. And in general, I love you people, thirty-three at once. No matter what you say, the young generation still walks in front of the others. To your health!”
They began a conversation. All were talking at once, except for the prosecutor, who sat in silence, blowing the cigar smoke through his nostrils. It was obvious he considered himself a nobleman, and despised both the doctor and the detective.
After the supper, Grishutkin, the host, and the prosecutor sat down to play cards. The doctor and Nadezhda Ivanovna sat near the grand piano and continued talking.
“Are you going to perform an autopsy?” the young, pretty widow said. “An autopsy on a dead body? Wow. What will power that would require! An iron will. To take a knife, and without a hesitation, to stab it into the body of a breathless man. You know, I adore doctors. They are very special people, I think doctors are saints. But doctor, why do you look so sad?” she asked.
“I have a premonition, a bad feeling, like I am going to lose a member of my family, or a close relative.”
“Are you married, doctor? Do you have a family?”
“Not a single soul. I am single, and I don’t even have friends. Tell me lady, do you believe in premonitions?”
“Oh yes, I believe …”
While the doctor and the lady talked about the premonitions, Grishutkin and the prosecutor were playing cards, returning to the table with food and having another drink from time to time.
At 2 a.m. Ezhov, who was losing money in the game, suddenly remembering the conference he had to attend later that day, slapped his forehead, and said, “Oh my God, what are we doing up so late? We are violating the law. Tomorrow, we should be leaving for this early conference, and we are still up playing cards. So let’s all go to bed. Thirty-three at once! Nadezhda, please go to bed. I pronounce our meeting over.”
“You are lucky, doctor, that you can fall asleep at night,” whispered Nadezhda Ivanovna when she said good-bye to the doctor. “I cannot sleep when the rain is hitting the window and my pine trees rustle outside. I will head to my room, and I will be bored reading a book. I cannot fall asleep now. And in general, if a lamp in front of my door in the corridor is lit, it means that I cannot sleep and that I am very bored.”
The doctor and Mr. Grishutkin found two huge beds in their rooms, made from mattresses put on the floor. The doctor undressed and lay down on his mattress, covering himself completely with a blanket, even his head. The detective also undressed and lay down, but then he jumped back up and started pacing the room, from one corner to another. He was an easily excited man.
“I am thinking about the landlord’s daughter, the young widow. Such a beautiful, refined young woman. I would have given anything to have had a woman such as her—her eyes, her shoulders, and her feet in those purple stockings. This woman has set me on fire. And she would belong to God knows whom—to a judicial civil servant, a prosecutor! He is a fool and he looks like an Englishman! I hate those legal people. When you spoke to her about premonition, she blushed, and he almost burst into pieces from jealousy. What can I say—a luxuriously beautiful woman. A wonderful woman! One of nature’s wonders.”
“Yes, she is a nice, respected lady,” said the doctor, talking from under the blanket. “She is sensitive, nervous, responsive, and a very easily excited person. We can fall asleep in an instant, but she cannot. Her nerves cannot stand this stormy night. She told me that all night—through the whole night—she would be bored, and would be reading a book. Poor woman, I pity her. Probably her lamp is on right now.”
“What lamp?
“She told me that if the lamp in front of her door is on, it means that she is not asleep.”
“Did she tell you this?”
“Yes, she did.”
“Then, I don’t understand you. If she told you this, then you are the happiest of men—what a man. Congratulations. I am jealous of you, of course, but anyway—congratulations! I am happy not only for you, but I am happy to see that scoundrel, that legal young man to be defeated. I am happy that you would lock horns with him. Now get dressed and go.”
Grishutkin, when drunk, becomes too relaxed at times. “You are joking, of course. God only knows what you are telling me,” said the doctor, embarrassed.
“Now, don’t talk, doctor. Get dressed, and go to her. Now, as they sing in the opera, ‘A Life for the King.’ ‘We should pick up the flowers of love every day.’ Get dressed, brother. Faster, faster.”
“But …”
“Faster, you animal.”
“Excuse me, but I don’t understand you.”
“What is there to understand? It’s quite clear. Is this astronomy or what? Just get dressed and go to the lamp.”
“I am surprised that you have such a low opinion about that person and me.”
“Stop your stupidity!!!” Grishutkin began to get angry. “How can you behave like this, so cynical?”
He tried for a long time to convince the doctor to go. He kneeled in front of him, and finished his plea by shouting, and swearing with filthy language, even jumping on his bed. He went to lie down, but fifteen minutes later, he jumped up and woke the doctor up.
“Listen,” he said, “do you refuse to see her? Are you positive?” he asked in a strict tone of voice. “Yes, why should you go? You are so easily excited. It is so hard to go to autopsies with you. I am no worse than that lawyer, the womanizer, or you womanish doctor. I will go by myself.”
He got dressed very quickly and headed for the door. The doctor looked at him with surprise, stood up, and walked over to lock the door.
“I think you are joking, sir,” the doctor said.
“I don’t have time to talk to you right now. Let me out.”
“No, I will not let you go. Go back to bed. You are drunk.”
“What right do you have not to let me go, doctor?”
“I have the right to do it, as a noble and honest man, who wants to defend an honest woman. Think about your actions. You are sixty-four.”
“You say that I am a nobleman. Who is that scoundrel who told you that I am old?”
“Agei Alexeevich, you are drunk and excited. Don’t forget, you are a human being, not an animal. An animal would act as you are trying to, guided by instinct. But you—you are a human being, the king over nature.”
The detective stuck his hands in his pockets. “I am asking you for the last time, will you let me go out or not,” he cried in a very piercing voice, as if outdoors. When he finally realized that the answer was no, he yelled, “You scoundrel!”
But then he backed away from the door. He was drunk, but he nevertheless understood that his piercing cry had probably woken everyone up in the house.
After a brief period of silence, the doctor came to him and touched him on the shoulder. The doctor’s eyes were red, and his cheeks were burning.
“Agei Alexeevich,” he said in a trembling voice. “After all those rude words, after you forgot about respect and called me a scoundrel, you should agree that we cannot stay together under the same roof. You treated me terribly. Let’s assume that I am guilty, but what exactly am I guilty of? She is an honest and noble lady, but all of a sudden you allow yourself these words. Excuse me, but we cannot be friends anymore.”