‘Yes.’ She was wearing a dress with white flowers on a black background, large flowers, rather in the same style as the dress she had worn the other time, a small black straw handbag, her lips and nails painted pale orange, a large wristwatch, a man’s watch, almost out of place with such a feminine dress. Particular signs: the way in which she looked at him, he wasn’t being honest with her.
‘Go on,’ she said.
He told her everything, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s, hoping she would then say no.
She didn’t say either yes or no, instead she launched into what sounded as if it was going to be a long speech. He had to let her carry on, it was the only satisfaction he could give her, he had nothing to offer her but blood and tears, like Churchill.
‘I haven’t done any other experiments like that since Alberta died,’ his Livia Ussaro said, while the thunder roared ever louder in the background. ‘Her death was the ultimate evidence that private prostitution is impossible. I wrote in my notes that a woman is a piece of merchandise that’s too much in demand, she represents a financial and social element that’s too large for a whole structure of interests not to be created around her.’
Old ideas, but correct ones. Little Miss General Topics wasn’t expounding any revolutionary theories, just presenting the facts.
‘It isn’t possible for a woman, especially nowadays, for her own reasons and of her own free will, to carry out such activities privately. Everything is structured to take a percentage from her, to “protect” her, to “organise” her. Two years ago, during my first experiments, a corset maker insisted on giving me some suspenders, she’d already understood and I pretended to accept, then she told me that she knew a gentleman who’d be able to offer me much bigger gifts. A parking warden had seen me get out of the car of one of these men and had also understood. He said, “Listen, you don’t have to make so much effort looking for something, and besides, it isn’t good to go around the streets by yourself. Let me handle it for you. There are lots of foreigners who ask me what they can do. You stay at home, and when there’s something I’ll phone you, isn’t that better?” Of course, it would have been much better, but apart from the fact that he wanted half, it would have become a professional activity, whereas I wanted to see if it was possible to remain an amateur. It isn’t possible. I got very scared once, and I don’t scare easily. Without realising it, I’d stopped for a moment in the Via Visconti di Modrone. It was afternoon, I didn’t know it was an allotted area, at least in the evening, I was careful never to go where the professionals were, but that time I made a mistake. Suddenly a man got off a moped, it couldn’t have been any clearer who he was if he’d worn a sign around his neck with the word pimp on it. What he said, more or less, was this: “Don’t think you can do as you like. Tell me who your friend is and I’ll smash his face in.” He wouldn’t believe I didn’t have a friend. “I see,” he said, “your friend doesn’t want you any more, that means you’re free, if you want to come over to me, I’ll be your friend.” He wanted to force me to be part of his stable, but there were too many people about and I managed to get away. But I was really scared.’
Livia was obviously completely mad, and he really would be a criminal to take advantage of such lucid madness. But maybe she would say no. In the meantime the lightning was dancing around them, the barman interrupted them to say that he was scared of storms and would never again agree to work in a place like this.
‘Basically these days there’s only one form of semi-prostitution without pimping. They could be nice girls who have an elderly friend, some even have two, plus a boyfriend, if they have one. Or they could be women separated from their husbands who have to be helped by someone, and if this someone is of modest means, he helps them for a while, a few months, then they have to look for another. Some of these nice ladies have sewing machines at home, and they sew for their neighbours, their acquaintances, a few distant relatives. Every now and again someone comes to see them. “How are you, signora?” “Oh so-so,” it may be a neighbour from where they lived before, or the pharmacist who gives them credit. “Don’t be offended, signora, I brought you something.” “Oh, you shouldn’t have, I can’t accept that.” “It’s only a handbag, it isn’t a diamond ring.” ’
How well she imitated the voices, was this tower really solid? Go on talking, my darling, and then say no.
‘In my opinion, that kind of prostitution is odious, because it’s hypocritical. I’d never do anything like that.’ She was talking, oh, yes.
She liked things to be clear and above board: really mad people didn’t like shades of grey, compromises. Maybe the tower was very solid, but in any case the storm suddenly abated, the lightning stopped, the rain and thunder faded.
‘I’ve talked too much, I know, when I’m with you I always talk too much, I just wanted to explain why I want to help you. I’ve done my experiments and I’ve understood where the evil lies, of course I do, they even debated it in parliament: it lies with the pimps. We’ll never be able to eliminate it, but every time we find a pimp we have to crush him.’ Passionately, she put both hands on the table. ‘Tell me exactly what I have to do.’
Here she was, another apostle, crushing evil. Together, they were crusaders. She really believed she could crush it, but what exactly do you want to crush, my darling? The more of them you crush, the more there are. And that’s all right, but maybe you have to crush them all the same.
‘Think it over for a few days, before you agree.’
‘You don’t have to speak like that to me, I don’t need to think it over, I’m a quick thinker.’
Yes, yes, darling. ‘All right, then think of those two girls, they’re both dead. If we get this wrong you could join them.’
‘I’ve already thought about that.’
‘And remember that we have everyone against us, even the police, and we won’t be protected by anyone.’
‘I’ve thought about that, too.’
‘Well, then,’ and now there was a solemnity in the way he spoke to her that was more intimate than ever, ‘think about this. Every day you’ll have to go with one or two men, for weeks, maybe to no avail, maybe we won’t find anything, or maybe you’ll be the third victim, but think about that seriously, we’re not playing games here.’ In his anger, he forgot himself and swore. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
Coldly, she said, ‘You didn’t have to say that to me. You’ve introduced a personal note into the question. From what you told me, and from the way you told it, it seems you don’t like the idea of me having to go with men. If that’s the case, it distorts everything, quite apart from the fact that I’m not remotely interested in what you like or don’t like. You asked me to do this work, and as soon as I said yes, you said no. You’re the one who’s playing games, not me.’
Be quiet, be quiet, why did he always have to get into things he couldn’t get out of, things that ended up as matters of life and death?
‘Tell me what I have to do, and that’s it. I’m old enough to know what I’m doing, if I’d wanted to say no I’d have said no. But I can’t.’
She couldn’t. ‘All right, then let’s go up on the terrace and get some fresh air, the rain has almost stopped.’
Up there, looking down at the lights of Milan, there was quite a wind: it was damp, like a wet sheet in the face. He explained to her the abominable details of the filthy work they had to do, he gave her the foul instructions that would make it less dangerous for her, he explained the signaclass="underline" ‘If you put your elbow out of the window once, that means “found him.” If you put it out twice in a row that means “danger.” Tomorrow, I’ll bring Davide to see you and we’ll do a rehearsal together, as soon as there’s something that’s not right, make the signal and he’ll be there.’ Because that was how it was, now he was even getting the other poor bastard involved. When someone was as sick in the head as he was, they didn’t know any limits.