What would my parents say if they found out that I was changing? What would they think if they found out that I was going to concerts and partying it up? They would drive here immediately and drag me back home by my hair. In the blink of an eye I would be enrolled in the first all-girls college that my mother could find. Neither of my parents would believe the ‘it’s all part of the college experience’ story.
What would I tell them if they asked me why I wanted to do it? How could I explain to my parents that I hated being the good girl and I wanted to experience life? I wanted to meet people and have fun. They wouldn’t understand that because neither of my parents tried to have fun. They were okay with sitting at home any night of the week, doing nothing but watching reruns of Wheel of Fortune and Golden Girls.
Would I tell them that, for once, I wanted to fit in? I wanted to be going with the crowd instead of against it. How did I expect them to understand it when I didn’t even understand it myself? It was ludicrous!
I should tell Sabrina that I had a change of heart. I’ll just tell her that image really isn’t me and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about what my parents would think. At least I won’t disappoint them. I could just not tell them but parents find out everything somehow.
“Lily, are you listening?” Sabrina asked suddenly.
Her voice snapped me back to the present and I stared at my roommate. The words were at the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t utter them. Deep down I knew I needed to at least try going out and it didn’t matter what it would do to my parents. I couldn’t worry about them. It had to be one or the other and this time I decided that it was going to be me.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” I said as I ran my hand through my hair. “I got a little distracted.”
Sabrina sighed but, surprisingly, kept her nasty retorts to herself.
“I said that we need to go shopping for you. Tonight. You can’t keep going around campus with what you are wearing now. You need something sexy that shows off that body of yours.”
“Shopping?” I stuttered. "I hate shopping."
"Come on. We don't have to be there all day."
"Well, I don't have much money so I won't be able to buy much."
"Then we can just shop for deals. How's that sound?"
I hadn't been shopping for a while. In high school I only went to the mall to eat at Bennigan's with my parents. Then we would shop afterward. It sounded like a lot more fun going with the girls.
"Okay, let's go. But only for a few hours."
"Deal."
Chapter Three
By the time Sabrina and I got back to the dorm rooms I was exhausted. My head hurt from the scents and sounds of women shopping and gossiping. My arms hurt from changing in and out of clothes at a rapid pace. All in all I felt like I was run over by a Mack truck. Sabrina, on the other hand, was still as bouncy and happy as she was when we entered the store six hours ago. She was like the energizer bunny; she kept going and going and going. I flopped down on my bed, too tired to so much more than lie down. Sabrina flittered around the room putting her clothes away and whistling.
“So how hot is the card for you Sabrina?” I asked with a grin.
Sabrina looked at me and laughed.
“I mean, by the work out that the card got today, I’m surprised that it hasn’t disintegrated yet.”
“Yeah well the card is in very good shape. I make sure of that every month or so. It gets a physical, you know.”
“Every few months?” I asked, shocked.
Sabrina goes shopping every few months? For what? What could she possibly need that badly to go shopping for? I never shopped unless I really needed something. There were times that I was so stubborn that I didn’t go shopping until I had only one thing left to use.
“How much do you spend then?”
“Just as much as I did today,” she admitted. “Sometimes more.”
More?! She spent nearly two thousand dollars on herself.
“And your father doesn’t notice?” I asked.
“Nope. I told you, my dad goes through money like it’s water. He’ll never miss the money now or any other time.”
“Wow,” I said.
I wasn’t sure if I was in awe or if I was disgusted. I never met anyone who had that much money, let alone able to spend that kind of money without a second thought.
“But it was worth it, don’t you think?” Sabrina asked and I knew that I was supposed to nod my head.
It didn’t matter if I really thought it was a good idea. Sabrina, I learned, liked to know that she was right with whatever she suggested. Underneath the party girl, Sabrina seemed to have really low self-esteem. During our shopping trip she pulled me over to the side and explained that she had been a good girl. She had been a geek, a nerd. Sabrina ate in the bathroom every day at school just to keep from getting teased and bullied. She was overweight and covered in acne. High school was horrible for Sabrina and she refused to let college be the same thing. So she got skinny, took care of her acne, and became outgoing.
“I guess so. It was fun.”
“Do you like what you got?”
“I love them!” I said and smiled. “Even if I had to shop for deals. Thanks for taking me out.”
“No problem. I needed it as much as you.” Sabrina shrugged. “And now you can get rid of all of your lame clothes. They are disgusting, you know.”
She stuck out her tongue and shuddered.
“I thought that I was going to have to burn them when you were at class one day.”
“Nice, Sabrina. Great way to start the year.”
“Well the clothes are that disgusting!” she exclaimed. “I can’t help that, can I?”
“You’re ridiculous,” I muttered.
The two of us looked at each other before my lips curved into a smile.
“Are you hungry?”
“Starved, what do you want, Pizza or Chinese?”
“I can totally go for some sushi,” I told her.
Sabrina rummaged around in her desk drawer, pulling out menu after menu.
“Do you just have menus lying around, waiting?”
“I grabbed the menus to the best fast food places around here when I moved in. We can’t cook here so what the hell else are we supposed to do.”
It made sense.
“Well… Good job. At least one of us thought of this.”
“When your parents are away for most of your life, you kind of learn how to fend for yourself.”
Sabrina lost her smile and I shifted on my bed uncomfortably. An awkward silence filled the room. Sabrina sighed and looked at me.
“Well anyway, it’s whatever. I’m going to go order. You might want to hang up your clothes before they get wrinkled.”
“Sure, no problem.”
Sabrina slipped out of the room, clutching her phone to her hand.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Hey guys. First I want to say that I miss you… A lot. College is a heck of a lot different than I thought it was going to be. But it’s a not a bad different. It’s actually a pretty great different. The girl that is sharing my dorm with me, Sabrina, is awesome. At first I thought she was a little weird and she thought the same about me. She had these My Little Pony dolls on her dresser, all lined up and staring at me.
Anyway, since I know you’re wondering, I wanted you two to know that I am eating right and taking my vitamins. I’ve been exercising three times a week just like at home. I’m doing everything that I promised you that I would do if you let me live in a dorm.