No. “Yes.”
Ash’s shoulders lifted in silent laughter.
“Are others as…?” I trailed off.
“What?”
It was hard to think of the right word. “Are others as kind as you?”
“Kind?” His head tilted. “I am not kind, liessa.”
The way he said liessa. It was indecent. “You have reacted far kinder to things most would’ve reacted to cruelly and without hesitation.”
“You mean when you stabbed me?” Ash clarified. “In the chest?”
I sighed. “Yes. Among other things. Are you going to say you only have one kind bone to go along with that one decent bone?”
“I would say that I have one decent, kind bone in my body when it comes to you, liessa.”
There was a snag in my breath. “Why?”
Silvery eyes met mine once again, the wisps of eather still. “I don’t know.” He let out a short, surprised laugh, his brows furrowing. “I don’t need to. Nothing would change from this moment, no matter if I left you upon waking or if I lingered longer. I don’t know. And that is an…interesting experience.”
What he said didn’t offend me because I wouldn’t have believed him if he had an entire list of reasons he was this strange with me. He was a god. Whether he lived hundreds of years or even longer, everything I knew could be contained in his palm. He was pure power given physical form, and there had to be countless beings in Iliseeum that were far more, well…everything than me. There were mortals far more intriguing and worthy of that one kind, decent bone in his body. And I didn’t mean that as a blow against myself. It was just the truth. I was unique because of what my forefather had done and that I had been born in a shroud and given a gift somehow and for some reason. Not because of anything I’d done with my life. The only understandable part was that he didn’t understand why we sat here.
“But there is something I do know.”
Curiosity rose. “What?”
“I want to kiss you, even though there is no reason for me to other than I want it.” The heated intensity of his stare held mine. “I would even go as far as to say I need to.”
A wild flutter started in my chest and quickly spread, much like that deadly flower of his that I reminded him of.
Did I want to kiss him?
I thought of when we’d kissed the night I’d first encountered the three gods, and the sharp, swift curl low in my stomach told me that, yes, I did. I was attracted to him on a visceral level that hadn’t been overshadowed by how infuriating he could be from one moment to the next, or the fact that he was a god—one who served the Primal of Death. Both of those things should extinguish any attraction I felt, especially the latter, but I couldn’t deny that he was the source of the flashes of warmth that had nothing to do with embarrassment.
Nothing seemed real right now. Not from the moment I’d healed the kiyou wolf to this very second. It was as if I’d entered a different world, one where I didn’t have to become someone else. One where I was wanted instead of scorned, desired instead of disliked. A world where I was just me and not the failed Maiden or would-be Consort.
I knew I shouldn’t. Just like I probably shouldn’t have worked up the nerve to enter The Jade and experience physical pleasure on my terms and just for me. I had no idea what the Primal would think if he ever came for me and realized that I was truly no longer the Maiden—if he would even know. I also knew there was a higher risk involved with Ash because he wasn’t a god from another Court.
But I wanted to feel. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to be kissed again. By him.
And I wouldn’t let who I was supposed to be, who I ended up becoming, or any thought of the Primal of Death stop me from allowing myself to want.
My pulse pounded dizzyingly fast. “Then kiss me.”
Chapter 13
The smile that spread across Ash’s face wasn’t slight or faint. It was wide and full of heated sensuality. I caught a brief glimpse of his teeth, two slightly elongated, sharp…fangs.
Now that I could really see them, I knew they weren’t the size of a finger like Tavius had once claimed, but I knew they could tear into my skin with shocking ease, nonetheless. The sight of them was yet another reminder of what Ash was. They brought forth a shivery mixture of fear and shameful excitement.
He moved then, erasing the distance between us. Every cell of my body tensed in a breathless sort of anticipation as that woodsy, citrus scent surrounded me.
“I don’t think I ever wanted to hear the word yes more than I do now,” he said, the bridge of his nose brushing mine. The shiver coursing through me had nothing to do with the cool touch of his skin. “Ever.”
Then his lips met mine, and the first touch was just that. A touch. But it was still a shock to my entire system, just like the moment I first entered the water. His lips were cool against mine, and the press of them was soft like satin over steel. He tilted his head slightly, and then I wasn’t thinking about his lips.
I wasn’t thinking at all.
The pressure of the kiss increased, and he tugged at my bottom lip with those sharp fangs. I gasped, my entire body shuddering.
His breathy laugh touched my lips. “I like that sound. A lot.”
“I liked that,” I whispered. “A lot.”
“But that, liessa, was barely a kiss.”
My blood thrummed as his hand settled around the nape of my neck. Liessa. Something beautiful and powerful… I felt like that now.
His mouth touched mine once more, and this kiss…it was nothing like the gentle touch of before. It was harder, and the feel of the tip of his tongue against the seam of my lips sent my heart racing. I opened for him, and the kiss wasn’t only deep. The flick of his tongue against mine was an exploration that tasted of honey and ice, and he kissed as if the same, almost frenzied curiosity that drove me also rode him. To know what it was like to feel wanted, desired, cherished. To just feel. I knew that was ridiculous. I didn’t think gods had that same curiosity, but the rawness of his kiss went beyond that need to know, as his hand threaded through my hair and his other flattened against my cheek. The kiss became all those things. I’d had no idea that a kiss could be like this.
Needing to feel more, I moved my hands to his shoulders. He shuddered at my touch. His skin was cool, and I didn’t know how he could feel that way when I was a sparking fire. I tugged on him, wanting him closer, only slightly concerned that I wasn’t apprehensive about that desire. A distant, still-operating part of my mind knew I should be more worried because I was feeling wonderfully impulsive and gloriously reckless.
But he was closer, and that was all I wanted to be concerned with. His large body urged mine down, and there wasn’t even a flicker of hesitation before my back met the grass. The weight of his upper body and the coolness of his bare skin bleeding through the thin slip as his chest pressed against mine was a heady, decadent shock to my senses.
The rumbling sound that came from him danced over my skin, my breasts, and then lower still. He seemed to be as affected, and that left me reeling in a dizzying way, knowing that he—a god—could react so strongly.