I squeezed my eyes shut. Breathe out. Had I seriously tried to attack the Primal of Death?
I didn’t want to think about that. I couldn’t think about what surely awaited me after what I’d done to the would-be King of Lasania. All I could focus on was that I was here now with him, the object of over a decade’s worth of training and grooming. A strange sort of laugh worked its way up my throat, but it found silence against my sealed lips. Because no matter what had happened in this Great Hall, no matter who took the throne now, I still had a duty to Lasania.
I was supposed to be seducing Nyktos, not dismembering people in front of him and trying to kill him. Not until I’d made him fall in love with me. In my anger and disbelief, I’d apparently lost sight of a very important step there.
The reality of the situation once again settled over me as the anger slowly returned to the simmer of the last three years…and maybe even longer than that.
Nyktos.
A name known but never spoken out of fear of gaining his attention or inciting his wrath. A name I’d never even allowed myself to think.
But he was finally here. How many times over the last three years had I wished for just such a chance to fulfill my duty? Countless. He was finally here. This could be it.
Could’ve been the chance.
I wasn’t sure how one could seduce another into falling in love with them after stabbing them in the chest.
But I knew what he’d meant when he said that my actions were inciting a reaction I didn’t intend. I’d been around enough men in my life to understand what he was saying…and to feel now what I had been too furious to register when I pushed back against him earlier. The thick, hard length of him had pressed against my lower back. He had been aroused.
He still was.
My mind was quick to push past everything, seizing on the knowledge that this was something to work with. Perhaps there was still a chance—a small one. Physical intimacy was only part of a seduction. It was everything else that would be damn near impossible now—forging a friendship, learning what he liked and disliked so I could mold myself into what he wanted, gaining his trust and then his heart.
My stomach churned. Molding myself into what he wanted. When I was younger, there had been a time that I hadn’t questioned any part of my duty or what it entailed. I was young then and wanted nothing more than to save my kingdom.
Now, every part of me chaffed at the idea of becoming someone else to gain the love of another. If that was what it took to make someone fall in love, then I didn’t think I wanted anything to do with it.
But this wasn’t about me. It never had been. This was about the Nates and the Ellies and everyone else who would continue to suffer. I needed to remember that.
“Did you forget to breathe?” the Primal asked softly.
Possibly.
I exhaled raggedly as I opened my eyes, my lungs burning and white spots blinking in and out of my vision. I needed to think. He’d come for me. That had to mean something.
He shifted his stance behind me, the slight movement sending a shiver of awareness through me.
There was no way I could think with him holding me so closely. “Let me go.”
“I don’t think so.”
I bit back a retort that surely would not help me. “Please?”
A deep chuckle rumbled out of him and through me. My eyes widened at the sensation. “You saying please makes me warier of letting you go.”
My hands opened and closed. “You’re a Primal. I can’t hurt you.”
“Do you think I’m incapable of feeling pain because I’m a Primal?” His cheek dragged against mine, sending a shiver across my skin. “If so, your assumption would be incorrect.”
My gaze dropped to the floor. “I wouldn’t be able to seriously hurt you.”
“True.” He didn’t relax his hold. “But I don’t for one second believe that piece of knowledge would stop you from trying yet again.”
It wouldn’t. Except attempting to harm him again wouldn’t further my duty one bit. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.”
“That sounds about as likely as a cave cat not clawing through the skin of the hand that attempts to pet it.”
I inhaled sharply and then jerked at the sensation of those coarse hairs against my breasts. “Are you afraid of me, then?”
“A little.”
I let out a rough, biting laugh. “Nyktos? The Primal of Death, afraid of a mortal girl?”
His breath teased my jaw. “I am not foolish enough to underestimate a mortal, female or not. Especially after what I just saw you do,” he said. “And don’t call me that.”
I frowned. “Nyktos? That’s your name.”
“I am not that to you.”
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be offended by that or not, but whatever. Calling him Ash was far easier than using the name that meant death.
My gaze skipped over the floor to where his arms were folded across my chest. His skin tone was several shades deeper than mine in the sunlight, and smooth under the dusting of hair. “You don’t have scales for flesh.”
“What?”
Tavius’s taunt still echoed in my thoughts as I closed my eyes, and I felt my control slip once more, letting out something other than anger. It was a rawness that came in a rush. “You rejected me.”
His hold loosened.
“And worse yet, you didn’t even realize who I was, did you?” I said, not faking the hoarseness in my voice. I wished that was an act.
A wake of tingles erupted as Nyktos’ arms slid away from me. Warm air rolled over my back and shoulders. “I always knew who you were.”
My eyes flew open, and I turned to face him. “You did?”
Quicksilver eyes fixed on mine. “I knew who you were when I stopped you from getting yourself killed when you went after those gods.”
He…he’d known and hadn’t said anything? He knew and appeared surprised by my anger?
“You knew who I was then and said nothing? You knew the night we found that body and didn’t say a word? And the night at the lake?” A tremor worked its way through me. “You knew then and didn’t tell me what the name Ash was short for?”
He bit his lower lip as he glanced at the still-impaled body. “I have a feeling if I answer that question honestly, you will be inclined to go back on your promise.”
“I’m already halfway there,” I snapped before I could stop myself. I stepped forward, lowering my voice. “You made a deal. You didn’t fulfill it, Ash.”
His jaw locked as his gaze returned to mine. “Why do you think I’m here now?”
Chapter 21
Why do you think I’m here now?
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. The floor felt like it was trembling under me again. It took several moments for me to fully register what he’d said. What it could mean. “You…you are here to fulfill the deal?”