‘Baba, will he be cured?’
The Baba pointed upwards to the sky with the finger that he had used to bless Pran with.
‘And Baba, what about his work? I am so worried—’
The Baba leaned forward. The escort tried to plead with Mrs Mahesh Kapoor to give way.
‘Work?’ The voice was very soft. ‘God’s work?’
‘No, Baba, he is looking for a position. Will he get it?’
‘It will depend. Death will make all the difference.’ It was almost as if the lips were opening and some other spirit speaking through the skeletal chest.
‘A death? Whose, Baba, whose?’ asked Mrs Mahesh Kapoor in sudden fear.
‘The Lord — your Lord — the Lord of us all — he was — he thought he was—’
The strange, ambiguous words chilled her blood. If it should be her husband! In a panic-stricken voice, Mrs Mahesh Kapoor implored: ‘Tell me, Baba, I pray you — will it be a death close to me?’
The Baba seemed to register the terror in the woman’s voice; something that may have been compassion passed over the skin-stretched mask of his face. ‘Even if so, it would not make a difference to you. . ’ he said. The words appeared to cost him immense effort.
He was talking of her own death. That was what he must mean. She felt it in her bones. Her trembling lips could barely form the next question:
‘Are you talking of my death?’
‘No. . ’
Ramjap Baba closed his eyes. Relief and agitation struggled in Mrs Mahesh Kapoor’s heart, and she moved forward. Behind her she could hear the voice whispering, ‘Thank you, thank you.’
‘Thank you, thank you,’ it continued to whisper more and more faintly as she, her son, his sister, her husband, and his mother — a chain of love and, consequently, of fear — moved slowly out of the crush on to the open sands.
11.16
Sanaki Baba, his eyes closed, was speaking.
‘Om. Om. Om.
‘Lord is ocean of the bliss, and I am his drop.
‘Lord is ocean of love, and I am part and parcel of it.
‘I am part and parcel of Lord.
‘Inhale the bivrations through the nostrils.
‘Inhale and exhale.
‘Om alokam, Om anandam.
‘The Lord is in you and you are part of Lord.
‘Inhale the environment and divine master.
‘Exhale the bad feelings.
‘Feel, do not think.
‘Do not feel or think.
‘This body is not yours. . this mind is not yours. . this intellect is not yours.
‘Christ, Muhammad, Buddha, Rama, Krishna, Shiva: mantra is anjapa jaap, the Lord is no any name.
‘Music is unheard bivrations. Let music open the centres like lovely lotus flower.
‘You must not swim, you must flow.
‘Or float like lotus flower.
‘OK.’
It was over. Sanaki Baba closed his mouth and opened his eyes. Slowly and reluctantly the meditators returned to the world they had left. Outside, the rain poured down. For twenty minutes they had found peace and oneness in a world far from strife and striving. Dipankar felt that everyone who had shared in the meditation must feel a warmth, an affection for all the others. He was all the more shocked by what followed.
The session was barely over when the Professor said: ‘Can I ask a question?’
‘Why not?’ said Sanaki Baba dreamily.
The Professor cleared his throat. ‘This question is addressed to Madam,’ he said, stressing the word ‘Madam’ in a manner that implied an open challenge. ‘In the inhalation and exhalation that you talked about, is the effect due to oxidation or meditation?’
Someone at the back said: ‘Speak in Hindi.’ The Professor repeated his question in Hindi.
But it was a curious question, which was either unamenable to any answer — or which could only be answered by a bewildered, ‘Both.’ For there was no either/or, no necessary contradiction in the two possibilities of oxidation and meditation, whatever they might mean. Clearly the Professor believed that the woman who had usurped too much power and closeness to Babaji needed to be put in her place, and that a question like this would show up both her ignorance and her pretensions.
Pushpa went and stood to the right of Sanaki Baba. He had closed his eyes again, and was smiling beatifically. Indeed, he continued to smile beatifically through the entire exchange that followed.
Everyone’s eyes other than Baba’s were on Pushpa. She reverted to English and spoke with spirit, and with cold anger:
‘Let me make it quite clear that quastions here are not addrassed to “Madam” or anyone else but to the Master. If we give teachings here it is in his voice, and we translate or speak because of his vibrations speaking through us. The “Madam” knows nothing. So quastions should be addrassed to the Master. That is all.’
Dipankar was transfixed by the severity of her response. He looked at the Baba to see what he would say. The Baba’s eyes were still closed in a smile, and he did not alter his stance of meditation. Now he opened his eyes and said:
‘It is as Pushpa says, and I ask her to speak with my bivrations.’
At the word ‘bivrations’ there was a flash of lightning outside, followed by a clap of thunder.
The Master had forced Pushpa to answer the question. She covered her face with a cloth from distress and embarrassment.
Then she spoke with anger and sincerity and embattled defensiveness.
Looking straight at the Professor, she said:
‘One thing is a must to say, and that is that we are all sadhikas, we are all learning, no matter how aged, and we must only ask the quastion which is ralevant, not any quastion for sake of quastion only, or to hold an examination of “Madam” or Master or anyone. If you are truly troubled by a quastion then you can ask it — if otherwise, then you will not get grace from the guru. So I should make that clear, and now I will answer the quastion. Because I can tell that we will have more quastion and answer sassion, and I must make all that clear from the beginning—’
Here the Professor attempted to interrupt, but she shot him down.
‘Let me speak and finish. I am answering Professor Sahib’s quastion, whatever spirit it is asked in, then why should the Professor Sahib interrupt? Now I am not a scientist of oxidation. . oxidation is natural, but it is always there. But what is happening? You may be seeing or hearing, but word or picture as such: what is that? What is effact? It can be different. If you see obscene picture, that will have one effact on you, a strong effact’—she screwed up her nose and closed her eyes in distaste—‘and a beautiful picture, different. So, music also. Bhajan music is music, film music also is music, but in one you have certain effact; in other, other. In smell also. It may be burning, but incense burning has wonderful smell, and shoes burning has tarrible smell. Or take prosassions of akharas tomorrow: some are in good spirit, some are fighting. It depends what. And sankirtan also, like this evening: you can have sankirtan with good people, or with bad people.’ This was said very pointedly. ‘That is why Saint Chaitanya only had sankirtans with good people.
‘So let me tell the Professor Sahib, it is not a quastion “Is it maditation? Is it oxidation?” The real quastion is: “What is your dastination? Where do you want to go?”’
Now Sanaki Baba opened his eyes and began to speak. The rain was loud, and his voice was soft, but it was not difficult to hear him. The guru’s words were calm and soothing, even as they sought to make distinctions and point out errors. But Pushpa shook her head from left to right as her Master spoke, gleefully smiling as he made his telling points, points which she took to be directed against the ‘defeated’ Professor. It was all so unloving, possessive and defensive that Dipankar could hardly stand it. The violent revulsion of feeling he was undergoing made him see this beautiful woman in a completely different light. She was gloating over her rival’s discomfiture in a way that almost made him sick.