"ARE WE NOT ALL SINNERS IN THE EYES OF THE LORD?"
General agreement was expressed by the majority.
Willy Max began to move about the room, face red, arms waving. "BRING ME A SINNER, LORD, THAT I MAY SHAKE THE DEMONS FROM HIS SOUL! GUIDE ME, LORD! SHOW ME THE BLACK-HEARTED BUCKET OF SLIME."
"Right here !" said Doreen, pointing at Keith Baumer. Baumer put his fork down, gazed around with a bemused expression, and said feebly, "Look here..."
Max raised his eyes beseechingly to the ceiling. "Who, Lord, who?"
"Him, Lord, him!" Doreen screamed.
"Uh, just a minute here," said Baumer. "I'm an agnostic."
"THIS IS THE ONE, REVRUND. THIS - HERE'S THE SINNER." Doreen grabbed Baumer by the tie. His eyes bulged. Doreen pulled. Baumer rose from his seat. Some hours afterward, opinion was divided as to whether this was strictly voluntary, since strangulation wasn't held to offer a genuine alternative to repentance.
"Have you lusted in your heart?" Willy Max demanded.
"Urgh," said Baumer.
"HAVE YOU LUSTED IN YOUR LOINS!" then, in an aside to Doreen, "Leave him go, sister."
Doreen released Baumer's tie. Byron and Joe-Frank grasped him by both arms, perhaps in a humanitarian attempt to prevent him from falling.
"Fall to your knees and PRAY!" hollered Willy Max. Byron and Joe-Frank assisted Baumer to his knees with good-humored alacrity.
"ooOOOOHHHLORD!" Willy Max shouted. "Shake these dee-mons from his breast!"
Joe-Frank tapped Baumer's knees with the blackjack. Baumer fell flat, face-up.
"GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!" Willy Max implored the ceiling tiles. "BOYS! PUSH THE DEVIL OUT!"
Byron held Baumer's head. Joe-Frank thumped Baumer's chest and stomach with both fists, an ecclesiastical tribute, perhaps, to the CPR class where Willy Max had first received divine inspiration.
"Help-me, help-me, help-me," Baumer wheezed, in time with the thumps.
Tom Peterson scowled. Mayor Henry jiggled one large knee up and down. Harland Peterson's lower lip stuck out like a granite ledge. Dookie Shuttleworth's expression was an interesting mixture of agony and apprehension.
"Shake the demons outa him!" yelled Byron.
"Yay, bo!" Joe-Frank responded enthusiastically.
"Mr. Maximilian?" Dookie Shuttleworth got to his feet. "Mr. Maximilian!"
The bikers stopped pummeling Keith Baumer. Willy Max gazed benignly at Dookie. "Yes, Revrund?"
"The ah - devils - seem to have flown. I think perhaps if you could sit down..."
"There's a whole lot more shakin' to go on," said Willie Max sternly. "And a lotta prayers to holler."
Dookie picked his way apologetically to the front of the room. He gave Keith Baumer a hand and drew him up, then patted him on the shoulder. "Sit down, son."
Baumer sat down, mouth moving soundlessly.
"And you, Mr. Maximilian, we'd like to thank you for your support, but I think..."
"Hell!" Baumer gasped, to mildly disapproving looks from his near neighbors.
"... it's time for you and your followers to go now." Quill held her breath. There was a moment's tense silence. Elmer Henry, Harland Peterson, and Davey joined Dookie, shoulder to shoulder. Byron and Joe-Frank cracked their knuckles ominously. Harland Peterson reached out one large hand and removed the blackjack from Byron's grasp like a mother taking a bottle from a beloved baby.
Quill wondered if she ought to pull the fire alarm. "Thank you, brothers and sisters," said William Maximilian finally. "We'll leave you now, to continue on our mission. Revrund Shuttleworth, with your permission, sir, we'll pass the plate before we go."
"I think not," said Dookie sternly. There was a murmur from the assembly. Quill was impressed. She had never seen Dookie so decisive.
"You're all crazy," said Baumer, who had recovered his breath. Then, perhaps unjust in this sweeping oversimplification, "You're a bunch of fuckin' maniacs!" He stood up, swaying a little, and marched to the door; he turned and glared at William Maximilian. "You'll be hearing from my lawyers, you son of a bitch."
Quill stepped aside to let him pass. One eye rolled wildly at her. He shook his head, as if to get rid of flies. He wobbled down the hall, headed straight, Quill surmised, for the checkout desk and the Marriott on Route 15.
"Brothers and sisters," said William Maximilian, "we'll bid you all farewell."
Quill followed them down the hall, through the lobby, and out the front door. Joe-Frank, Byron, and Willy Max got into Rolling Moses. Joe-Frank turned on the ignition and gunned the motor. Rolling Moses took off like a cat with a stomped-on tail. She turned to Peter Williams, who had accompanied her, propelled, had she known it, more by concern for the look in her eye than a desire to make sure of Rolling Moses' departure.
"Bring me," she said, "Doreen."
"Yes, ma'am."
Quill took a few deep breaths. "And Peter? Mr. Baumer will undoubtedly be checking out. Will you make sure you know where he's headed? He's a material witness to the murder at the Pavilion, and Myles will want to know where he is."
"Yes, ma'am."
Quill went to her office and sat down behind her desk. Doreen tapped at the door, was given leave to enter, and came in.
"Now, I know what you're thinkin'," said Doreen engagingly.
"You can't possibly know what I'm thinking," said Quill coldly. "What I'm thinking is illegal in this state."
"First of all, the Reverend din't have those two with him in Boca Raton," said Doreen, "Honest. He had two helpers from the Sunset Trailer Park. Nice ladies." She paused reflectively. "Not as good at thumping as that there Joe-Frank." She heaved a deep sigh. "Second off, I din't call them."
"If you didn't, who did?" said Quill evenly. "I dunno."
There was a short silence. "So, am I fired?"
Quill remained expressionless.
"If I ain't fired, you gonna fine me?"
Quill picked up the stapler and depressed the arm. Three staples littered her desktop before it jammed. She set it back into place.
"You want me to think twice about this here Rolling Moses religion," guessed Doreen.
"I don't want you to think twice. I want you to forget it. I want it totally, absolutely, entirely erased from your memory. I want no more harassing of the guests. No more Bible verses in soap on bathroom mirrors. No more bugs in the beds. I don't give a damn about the seven plagues of Egypt. This is Hemlock Falls, and there are no grasshoppers, no locusts, no SLUGS allowed. Got that?"
"Got that," said Doreen. "I was kinda going off this, anyways. Thinking maybe of taking up Amway."
"Why do you have to take up anything!" shouted Quill. "Especially now, when I need you and Meg to be relatively sane and even-tempered."
"Somethin' happen?" said Doreen alertly.
"Yes." Quill took several deliberate breaths. She knew Doreen to be absolutely trustworthy in every area but her brief and violent enthusiasms. Well-pretty trustworthy. On the other hand, she didn't have a lot of choice. Someone had to search for clues, and she didn't have the time. "John's back."