Veronika sucked on her lower lip. “It’s just a feeling. Probably nothing.”
Veronika didn’t speak of her premonition again. As the days passed, Nadia continued helping at the hospital, but now that the entire Trans-Siberian Railway was in legion hands, most of the wounded were sent to hospitals in Vladivostok. Nadia had less and less to do as their first week in Verkhne-Udinsk passed and the second began.
On a crisp autumn morning, she washed diapers after finishing her tasks in the hospital. It wasn’t the most pleasant of chores, but baby Marek was worth it, and she was glad to give Veronika a hand. There was also something satisfying in knowing she could get them clean. Her laundry skills had room for improvement, but they’d advanced considerably since that spring.
On her way back from the river, she saw Anton. “You’re back!” She peered at the other returning faces, hoping to see Filip. He wasn’t there, and something heavy grew in her stomach. What if he’d been hurt or killed?
“He’s reporting.”
Nadia searched Anton’s face, making sure she hadn’t misunderstood. “So he’s well?”
“Nothing worse than a few blisters. How’s Veronika? And the baby?”
“Your little Marek is an angel. He smiles all the time now. Veronika is . . . She’s still recuperating.” Larisa and the other women thought Veronika should be stronger by now. They all helped, but Veronika still seemed almost as fatigued as she’d been immediately after delivery. Having Anton back was bound to speed her recovery. “She’ll be glad to see you. She’s in the lavender van.” Nadia handed the basket of laundry to Anton. “These are Marek’s.”
Anton thanked her and rushed off.
Where would Filip be? Still reporting to Kral? She’d seen the lieutenant a few times, his arm in a sling and his face as stern as usual. She passed the various train cars, seeking only one thing: her husband.
She finally saw him, his back to her as he spoke with Kral. She couldn’t interrupt, so she waited with her hands clasped behind her. Filip was right in front of her, so she could stop worrying about him. Still, it was hard not to fidget.
“When we caught up with them, they were trapped. The Mongolians closed the border and wouldn’t let them cross. Some snuck over, I’m sure, but the main group surrendered unconditionally.”
“And the locals?”
“The Buriats were friendly and hospitable. I think the entire population of Troitskosavsk came out to cheer us, led by the mayor, and the Mongolian cavalry came over as an honor guard. It seems they don’t want a bunch of Bolsheviks stirring up trouble in their country.”
“No, I imagine not.” Kral noticed Nadia, and a rare smile flickered across his face. “Well, that’s enough for now. You earned a bit of rest.” He clapped Filip on the shoulder and waved him off.
Filip’s eyes found her the moment he turned around. Only by exercising tremendous willpower did she manage to walk to him instead of run. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just smiled. He was equally tongue-tied but seemed happy to see her, and that gave her hope.
“I’m glad you’re back,” she finally said.
“I’m glad to be back.” His hair was longer now, but his skin was smooth, so he must have shaved recently. His clothes looked worn but clean. He offered her his arm, and they strolled together, away from the train depot.
“I was worried. We had news but nothing specific. And when we finally caught up with the regiment, you weren’t here. I was terrified that something had happened to you. What would I do if you didn’t come back?”
Filip stopped walking and took both her hands in his. “Nadia, if something happens to me, the legion will still take you to Vladivostok. You’re one of us now.”
She looked at the ground. “It’s not that. You’re the only one who doesn’t see me as a nuisance.” Or maybe he did, but he never let it show.
His fingers brushed her jaw, bringing her face up so she looked at him again. Those fingers were strong yet gentle, and warmth at his touch spread across her skin. “There are people here who care for you now, not just me. You wouldn’t be friendless. Dalek remembers your help with the telegrams to Tatarsk, Anton admires your skill as a nurse, and Kral is grateful for your work with the prisoners. And the women are your friends now too.”
“But I would be without you.” She reached for his hand that still held her face.
Something in his expression changed and softened as his eyes studied her with an intensity that seemed to mirror all the emotion tangled up in her heart. “You’d miss me?”
“I did miss you, and you were only a few miles away. If something happened to you, I . . .” Terror had consumed her when she’d seen him wounded outside Omsk. What would she do if anything worse happened? She’d be helpless again, but she wouldn’t just miss what he did for her, she would miss him. She hesitated to speak. What if she told him she loved him and he laughed at her? But she’d already said more than was prudent, and the warmth of his touch suggested their feelings might be in accord. “If something happened to you, it would break my heart.”
He kept his gaze on her a while longer, then looked along the street. It wasn’t crowded, but it was occupied. He took her elbow and guided her between two buildings where fewer people could see them. “Are you saying I have some sort of claim on your heart now?”
“Of course. You are my husband.”
He shook his head. “I’ve been your husband since March. You had no affection for me when we wed.”
“I had gratitude, if not affection. But my feelings since then have changed. A great deal.” She leaned her back against the rough wood of a building. It had taken her a long time to learn to trust him, to see all the good in him, and she saw him clearly now.
He put one hand on the wall behind her and used the other to caress her hair. “I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw you. Beautiful, and completely out of reach. You might as well have been one of the grand duchesses. But I didn’t know you then, had no idea how you would surprise me again and again with your abilities.”
Nadia looked away. “I can barely cook, my sewing is atrocious, and I still take twice as long to make the clothes half as clean as the other women do.” She’d learned so much since the train station in Piryatin, but there was still so much she didn’t know.
“You’ve learned skill after skill, and you’ve never given up. And you’ve done it all with grace and kindness.”
“But you’re trying to overthrow the old order, and I was part of that.” Her life prior to meeting him was one of luxury and privilege, part of a class parallel to those who had persecuted his people in his lands. “Is Russian aristocracy so different from Austrian aristocracy?”
“I didn’t hate the Hapsburg aristocracy because they were rich and German. I hated them because they thought that because they were rich and German and I was poor and Czech, my life and my happiness weren’t as important as theirs. But you’re not like that. You’ve cared for our wounded, helped us smuggle rifles, and gathered intelligence. You may have been born rich, but you’ve made common cause with us, and that has earned you my undying admiration and my unconditional love.”
Love? She swallowed as hope and uncertainty waged a war in her chest. Could he really love her? She met his gaze and had her answer. Yes, he did. She could see approval in his eyes and fondness in the set of his mouth.
“Filip, I think I love you.”
His smile was pure joy. “I had hoped you would come to. But I never supposed you would.”
He kissed her forehead, kissed her cheeks, kissed the end of her nose. They were delicate, soft gestures that warmed her like a fur cloak in winter. And then he kissed her lips. She’d never been kissed before, had only dreamed of what it might be like.