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A Year Like None Other
by Aspen in the Sunlight
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Chapter Fifty-Eight: Father
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Harry nervously paced the confines of his father's office, his footsteps taking him from the bookshelves to the hearth and back. He didn't know what Snape was saying to Draco to explain the sudden shift of mood out in the living room, but he wasn't too worried about it. He wasn't even worried about the way his father had sneaked into his thoughts, though that had been underhanded to say the least.
The only thing on his mind now was the conversation to come.
Suddenly wanting to escape, Harry fixed his gaze on the fireplace. So tempting. He could Floo now; there was nothing keeping him confined.
That would be the height of cowardice, though, and his father deserved far better from him. No matter that the conversation wasn't likely to be pleasant. Severus needed to know the truth.
"Sit," the man said the moment he had closed the door to ward them in.
He took a chair facing Harry, and began by taking a deep breath. His gaze was somber when it met Harry's, but anger still blazed in the depths of his eyes. "I cannot imagine," he roughly grated, "what that devious old codger hopes to gain by this latest gambit."
It took Harry a moment to realize who Snape meant. "Oh, Dumbledore? It's nothing to do with him, what I was thinking about."
"Really," Snape mocked. "You just happened to be contemplating mutual repudiation for no reason at all, I suppose?"
It felt like something hard was lodged in Harry's throat. He swallowed, but the sensation persisted. "There's a reason," he began, struggling for words. "Listen--"
"I thought you understood my sentiments on this point," Snape interrupted, "but apparently you don't. Allow me to elucidate. I do not particularly care what new difficulty may have arisen; I will not repudiate the contract, Harry. Ever. That is, after all, what the words I promise tend to indicate. So, whatever your little problem is, I will resolve it as your father! Do you begin to understand me now, or shall I repeat myself a few thousand times?"
"I understand," Harry murmured, raising his eyes.
"I should hope so!" Snape rose to his feet, his expression becoming even more a glower. "Now, as I do not for an instant believe that Albus didn't start you thinking along these ludicrous lines, I shall go have words with him, as well!"
"He'll just send you back down here to talk to me," Harry exclaimed. "It's not him. It's all me! And I'm sorry, but yelling at me that there's no problem doesn't mean there isn't one." His voice broke. "Because there is."
Snape sank back down into his chair. "I didn't say there wasn't a problem, Harry; I said that we would get past it." All at once the man looked deeply exhausted. "So it wasn't some idea of Albus' that the best thing for us would be to repudiate the contract?"
"No, it wasn't. And it's not my idea either, all right?"
Harry wasn't too surprised when Snape missed his point. He knew he wasn't explaining things so well. The man looked at him, black eyes steadily assessing, though this time there was no hint of Legilimency involved. "Perhaps you should just tell me why you would wish to dissolve the adoption, Harry. I thought we were getting on rather well, all things considered."
"We are," Harry firmly agreed. "Listen, sir..." He cleared his throat, trying to soften the blow. "I love being your son, I really do. These past few months... well, I've never had anything like this, and I've always just been sick with jealousy that everybody else did." He looked away. "I was really looking forward to this summer, sir. I thought maybe we could spend more time in Devon, Draco too, and... well, without the pressures of keeping up in class and you teaching and all that, we might have more time together. I mean, I know you pretty well now, I think, but sometimes I realize I don't know you quite the way a son should know his father. So anyway, there's no way I want to end things."
"Then why was that the only thought ringing through your mind?"
Strange how hard it could be to say just two words.
"Seer dream," he finally croaked.
The silence in the room was palpable, after that. Snape stared at him, his eyes intense. Harry just waited. There was no way he could say another word, not until his father responded to the last two.
"Seer dream," Snape at length repeated.
Harry reluctantly nodded.
"When?"
"Uh, week and a half ago, something like that. The night we had that awful fight, actually."
"Is this the bad dream you said you had?" Snape huffed with ill-concealed disgust. "You were worried I wanted rid of you, and then you dreamed about that very thing? Doesn't that tell you anything?"
"Why do you think I didn't go into details sooner? I thought it was just a regular dream, even though it followed the seer dream pattern. Then I realized it couldn't be just any old dream! I saw the past, too, and it turned out to be true! Lotion Potion," he added irrelevantly. "Anyway, it's a seer dream all right. And ever since, I've been doing research, trying to figure out if it really does have to come true."
"If what has to come true, precisely?"
"Your unadopting me, that's what," Harry cried. "I saw it, Professor. That casewitch was back here saying how unfortunate it all was, and you were saying that people didn't want you to actually do it, but it was for the best, or something..." He stopped and took a breath. It was either that or blubber, and he wasn't going to break down, he just wasn't.
Snape was shaking his head. "I am not going to... ah, unadopt you, Harry, no matter what you think your seer dreams presage in this regard." He paused, his gaze becoming a piercing black that seemed to spear straight through Harry's soul. "Matters between us are really very simple. You aren't just some boy I took in to get him warded." His voice dropped to a bare whisper. "You're my son by choice, not obligation. When I thought today that I had lost you... well, it occurred to me that I ought to tell you."
"Tell me I'm your son?" Harry ventured, a little bit confused.
"No... You may realize this already, but..." Snape cleared his throat. "Harry. I could not love you more had I sired you myself."
Harry blinked. At some level the words came as no surprise. Severus had made it perfectly plain that he cared deeply about Harry, after all. That was all that was making the seer dream halfway bearable. That Severus would say the words, though... Severus, who didn't care to show emotion... that meant a lot. An awful lot.
Harry reached out and took his father's hands in his, squeezing them a little, as Snape had done so many times for him. "I love you, too, sir," he said, smiling a little as he met the man's startled gaze. "Oh God, that sounds so stupid now, doesn't it, calling you sir after a sentence like that? I guess I really will have to switch to 'Father'." He drew in a breath. "Is that all right?"
"I've no objection, certainly," Snape answered, solemnly nodding, though his eyes still looked a bit unsettled.
Harry nodded too. "All right. Father. Yes, I can do that. I like it, in fact. I'm not sure why it seemed so hard before. Hmm, maybe even Dad sometimes?" He glanced up, smiling. "I told Dudley you weren't the Dad type... but you know, sometimes I think you're not too far from it."
It came as no great surprise to Harry that Snape quickly changed the subject. "About this dream, then. You must be mistaken. It cannot possibly come true."