That declaration was about the most awful thing Harry had ever heard. It was just... all wrong, from the words --nothing like the Slytherin way Draco would put such a sentiment--, to the evasive glint in the other boy's eyes, to the way Draco held himself afterwards... to the tone, which announced far clearer than words that the declaration was anything but sincere. It had been said deliberately, calculated for effect...
It wasn't a declaration at all, in fact. It wasn't even true. It was strategy.
Harry's heart almost broke apart inside him, because he did love Draco, and this... this was proof, wasn't it, that the other boy was insecure about everything. Not just about his future, or staying out of Azkaban. He was insecure about Harry, too.
Not that Draco Malfoy would ever admit to that. No, he'd just lie and try to play the situation to his advantage, because he was Slytherin, after all. Harry supposed he could play along and pretend to believe the lie. It would be the easiest thing to do... but he didn't think that was what Draco truly needed.
"You don't love me," Harry quietly said, pushing his mug to the side. Draco's gaze skittered away.
"I... I think you believe you have to say it back," Harry went on, hurting for the other boy. "You said once that I might be the only person who could keep you out of Azkaban... and now, I guess you think that if you don't say it back, I'll sooner or later get upset about that, and then I might not help you when you need it. Is that what you're thinking?"
"No, no, I really do," Draco insisted, though his voice sounded weak and ill to Harry's ears. "I do love you--"
"If you did, you wouldn't be so miserable at the thought of sharing my money," Harry countered. "Listen to me, Draco. You don't have to pretend you feel something you don't. It's not the price of... my support, or anything."
Draco was staring at him as though he'd grown an extra head. "Why did you say that to me if it wasn't so I'd say it back?"
"I didn't mean to say it," Harry admitted.
"But... why did you?" Draco pressed, still obviously confused.
"Because it's true, you imbecile!" Harry shouted, frustrated. "Hasn't anybody ever told you they loved you before?"
"Not unless they wanted something," Draco admitted, staring across the table at Harry, his gaze clear and honest that time.
Harry got it, then. Love wasn't love to Draco; it was a means to an end. It was manipulation. Family love, at least. Romantic love was probably different, but Draco wasn't talking about that.
At that moment, what Draco had said sank in, really sank in. Harry knew he should just shut up, but he couldn't, because what he'd realised was so very horrible.
"Even Severus?" he asked, confused. "He... Draco, after all this time, how can you think he wants something from you when he says he loves you?"
Draco lifted his mug and took a sip, his every motion casual, just as though it didn't matter to him in the least, what he was going to say. But it did matter. Harry knew it did.
"He doesn't say he loves me," Draco corrected. Standing up in one smooth motion, the Slytherin boy added, "He's never said it. Can you see to clearing away the mess, here? I'm tired. I'm going to bed."
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Coming Soon in A Year Like None Other
Chapter Seventy-Three
Chapter 73: Buttons and Rings
http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=5036&chapter=73
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A Year Like None Other
by Aspen in the Sunlight
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Chapter Seventy-Three: Buttons and Rings
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Harry didn't know what to say to Draco after that. Just as well that the other boy was asleep --or pretending to be-- by the time he went into their bedroom. Of course cleaning up after the cocoa hadn't taken long... it was the lighted orbs that had delayed him. They refused to be banished. Harry didn't know the right spell to make them turn off, and since he'd never used orbs like that before, he wasn't about to experiment. He was lucky enough that his father hadn't really done anything yet about his stunt with the enchanted picture frame.
Actually, that still surprised him, but he chalked it up to the fact that Severus had been so proud of him for staying in instead of rushing out to help save Draco.
Since he couldn't make the orbs go away or stop glowing, he thought about herding them all into the chimney, but decided that they'd cause a beam of light to stream skywards. The cottage was unplottable and under Fidelius and all that, but Harry still thought it wouldn't be too clever to send out a beacon announcing its presence. In the end, he settled for levitating the orbs over to the couch where he wrapped them over and over in a blanket to dampen their light.
And then he went in to talk to Draco, only to realise when he stepped into the dark bedroom that he still didn't have the faintest idea what to say.
Of course Severus loves you... or maybe something more like, Don't be a complete git! You know perfectly well that Severus loves you...
Because the Potions Master did. Harry didn't have the slightest doubt. The thought of it used to make him feel a little bit angry inside, but not any longer. Not since he'd realised that sharing his father didn't mean he was being cheated of something.
Draco was the one being cheated, obviously.
No doubt, Snape must have his reasons for never having said I love you out loud to his Slytherin son. Knowing Snape, he probably had several reasons, and Harry wasn't so dim that he didn't know what they were. Some of them, at least. Slytherins weren't known for sentimentality. Look at the way Snape had first expressed love for Harry. I don't hate you at all... Even now, he didn't often say the actual word "love." Snape would agree with the old adage that actions speak louder and all that. And then there was the issue of Draco being Slytherin, as well. Maybe Severus thought the words would make him uncomfortable.
As indeed they had, Harry realised with a grimace as he slid between his sheets. Pre-warmed sheets... Draco had evidently cast a heating charm when he'd transfigured the big bed in half.
Actions speak louder... yeah, that applied to Draco as well.
Severus probably knew that if he talked of love to Draco, the Slytherin boy would suspect at least a shred of manipulation behind the sentiment. So he showed how much he cared, instead, even to the point of resigning if that was what it took to keep his family safe.
It all made sense, but it still left Harry frowning as he lay awake that night.
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The morning brought him no closer to a solution. Harry honestly didn't know if he should try to talk to Draco, or Severus, or both of them, or leave it to them to work it out on their own. He had told Draco more than once to stay out of his own relationship with his father, so maybe he should follow his own advice.
Or maybe not, since Draco struck Harry as really in need of reassurance.
At any rate, Draco wasn't in the room when Harry finally rolled out of bed to face the day. Harry hurriedly splashed some cold water on his face and pulled on last night's clothes, then opened the door to find his brother.