"Miss Bulstrode," Aran interrupted. Loudly. "Please bring your wand to the front."
Harry scowled as he got out parchment, quills, and his book. So that was Aran's new game. He'd keep Harry from speaking Parseltongue by never calling on him to do any practical work.
A little bird landed on his desk and unfolded itself, just one word written across it. Plans?
Harry huffed and started scrawling out an answer. Well, I suppose I could just shove my way up to the front and demand my turn! But the ugly arsehole won't cast against me, so what good is that?
He crumpled the note up to toss it over, but then he had a better idea. He might not know an actual avian charm, but he did know how to levitate things. Slipping his wand out of his pocket, Harry held it over the wadded note. Magic sure took a lot of coordination these days, he thought. He had to look at the right part of his glasses, which was still a little bit awkward, and make sure none of his power flowed through his wand.
"Take wing and fly!" he hissed, moving his fingers in a way that would direct the note to float over the top of students' heads until it was hovering over Draco's desk.
Draco grinned as he caught it.
"Potter!" said Aran loudly. "I said wands away!"
Harry met the teacher's angry gaze and gave a lazy grin. "Sorry," he said, liking the way he sounded completely insincere. "I had to tell Draco something. I won't use it again unless I need to pass another note."
"Detention!" snapped Aran, swinging his wand around. "You admit to passing notes, do you? Accio note!"
He was fast, but Draco was faster still. "Incendio!" he cried.
The note burst into flames when it was half-way to Aran.
The teacher glowered. "Detention for you as well, Mal-- Snape."
"Why do you even bother?" asked Harry, loudly. "You know perfectly well--or you would, if you had half a brain--that neither one of us is going to stay. And you know you're not going to do a damned thing about it!"
"Oh, you'll stay, Potter!" Aran glared at him, then turned the same expression on Draco. "You'll both stay."
"I guess he doesn't have half a brain, after all," said Draco. "Or perhaps the problem is..." He lifted a finger to make a twirling motion near his ear. Apparently the Muggle and Wizarding worlds shared the same symbol for, He's barmy as a bat.
The class had been more or less just staring up until then, but that made them break out into laughter.
Amazingly enough, Aran didn't look like he was going to explode. "Everyone will get back to work," he only said.
Harry exchanged a puzzled glance with Draco, who just shrugged.
Sighing, Harry flipped open his book to the right chapter. Draco did the same, he noticed, but instead of just reading, he quietly talked the chapter through with Goyle. Aran didn't say anything about it, but of course he'd already assigned detention. He was busy anyway now, coaching Parvati through the guard dog spell. After a while, Parvati managed a very creditable St. Bernard. It wasn't terribly ferocious, but it did bound over to Aran and try to knock him down.
Harry started reading, taking notes as he went. It wasn't quite as boring as Saturday's Quidditch match, but it ran a close second. He managed to keep to the assignment all the way through his outline, but when it came to writing his own test on the chapter, he started to get irritated. Was Aran so lazy he couldn't even write his own exams? It was unfair! And stupid!
"Mr. Mal... Snape," called Aran. "Your turn."
Draco raised an eyebrow as though he hadn't been expecting to be called up. His caninae, after all, hardly needed work. Harry flinched just thinking about it. That huge dog had looked so very much like Padfoot...
His hand clenching on his quill, Harry tried to concentrate on his work and ignore whatever was happening up at the front of the class. That got a little difficult when Draco started yelling.
"Ow! Ow!"
Reaching under his robes and beneath his shirt, Draco fumbled to undo the clasp of the simple silver chain he was wearing around his neck. He pulled the amulet out, and gave Harry a bit of a glare.
Enough with the brotherly love, Harry could almost hear Draco saying, a sneer in his voice.
Harry shrugged to show he hadn't done anything. He hadn't even been paying attention. He'd been trying to work on his assignment!
"Accio pendant!" snapped Aran. He caught it by the chain and poked a finger at the turquoise. "Burned you, did it? Why are you wearing an amulet like this during Defence class? This sort of thing uses very simplistic magic. It can't tell if you're being hexed for real or as part of a practise duel! You ought to know these things, Mal-- Snape!"
Apparently Draco was taken aback enough to forget to be rude. "Sorry, sir. It never used to do that when Severus and I would... never mind. I think I'm sensitised to it, or something. I'll stash it in my pocket--"
Instead, Aran popped it into his. "You can have it back when your detention's been served," he said, a bit smarmily.
A dull flush came up under Draco's skin. He lifted his wand. "Accio amulet!"
"Oh, I've long since warded my person against students trying anything like that. The mood you're in, it's probably best if we forego the caninae, so you may return to your seat--"
"Give it here!" yelled Draco. Harry wasn't sure whether he was more angry to have had the amulet taken away, or because the whole class had just seen Aran best him, but his lack of impulse control was definitely at work. Otherwise, Harry didn't think Draco would have gone on, "It was a present from my brother!"
"Oh, him," said Aran, his lips twisted. "In that case you're lucky it's not Dark."
"Harry's not a Dark Wizard, you pompous, opinionated, fat, rat-faced prick!" And then, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Detention."
"And you'll serve it if you want your amulet back!" called Aran as Draco went to sit down.
The class was sort of abuzz after all that, but students got back to work as soon as Aran called up the next student.
Harry glowered down at his parchment, his fingers twitching, he was so angry. He wanted to lift them up and lash out at Aran with both hands, but there was no way Severus wouldn't hear about something like that. But still, roiling thoughts crowded his mind, tumbling over and over like a potion set to a furious boil.
Dark wizard, am I? Just because I can talk to Sals! Just because I gave my brother something to protect him. Ha!
Standing up and yelling, though, was just going to make him look like he had to refute it. Like he half-believed it, himself. But still, Harry couldn't bear to just go on writing out his stupid assignment, not after that. He had to do something.
All right, fine, he thought, dragging out a fresh sheet of parchment. Time to write the test Aran had demanded. Harry could think of some good questions to ask!
1. What makes you such a complete fucking moron? he scrawled, jabbing the point of his quill into the parchment so viciously that droplets of ink spattered.
2. And why do you hate Parseltongue so much? Did a snake attack you as a child? Too bad it didn't kill you.
3. I heard you weren't married. Is that because nobody can stand being around your fat arse for more than five minutes at a stretch?
4. In case you never realised, this class is called Defence. Have you ever thought about actually teaching that subject? Because you seem to think you were hired to run a study hall.
5. Oh, by the way, you're too stupid to notice this, but Zabini isn't doing the assignment. He's got his book open and he's hiding behind it, writing lines for Severus. Yeah, that's right. Some teachers can make their students do the punishments they've been assigned. Not you, though. You're completely incompetent.