Harry pulled his school robe around himself tighter, hoping that no one had noticed the trembling that had suddenly crept upon him. He felt as if he'd woken to some sort of nightmare. Far too many things had happened far too quickly today. And he simply couldn't have killed Lucius Malfoy. He just couldn't have!
When Harry closed his eyes and rubbed them again, it seemed like they were full of sand or something. He felt his father gently pull his clenched fists away from his face, but he didn't open his eyes. Not only did the light in the room hurt, but he didn't want to see the concerned expression in his father's face. The concern was misplaced because Harry knew he was fine. It was embarrassing really, having his father fuss over him when Draco was the one needing their support.
As if on cue, his brother spoke up. "Can we just go?"
"Fine, fine," said the headmaster in a soothing voice. "Remus, would you be so good as to take young Mr Snape to the hospital wing? I'm afraid Harry and Severus and I need to keep talking, but I think it best we not delay treatment for his injuries any longer."
"I thought we needed to get out of here since Gibby's on the loose," said Harry.
"Oh, I think that Severus and I can protect you quite adequately for a moment more, should anything unforeseen occur--"
Draco sounded exasperated when he blew out a breath. "I'd appreciate a little honesty here. You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you? You need Harry to reverse his spell so you can destroy Lucius' body, and you don't think I ought to be here to see you do it!"
Harry felt a sour taste rise up into his mouth. "But the portrait! I . . . I thought I wouldn't have to undo my Petrificus now." Feeling like he was out bobbing on the ocean or something, he looked up into his father's dark eyes, hoping they would steady him. "And . . . well, he's obviously really dead, but what if he does come back when I reverse the spell?"
Snape kneeled down in front of the chair, putting his face almost on a level with Harry's as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Given the way that portrait behaved, I'm confident that Lucius Malfoy is indeed dead. Harry Ö"
"But what if my magic is different? People come back from being dead all the time." He nodded enthusiastically despite the dismayed look his father was giving him. "I'm not mental. Listen, Muggles do it with CPR and such." Harry clenched his hands together. "What was the point of that essay you set me, if not to teach me that my peculiar powers are unpredictable, eh? What if there is chance my to bring him out brings him back? I'm certainly not going to kill him again, just because I can!"
Harry found himself pulled without warning into his father's embrace again.
"No one would ask that of you," said Severus against his ear as he knelt, hugging Harry. "But we need you to reverse your spell all the same. If we've any hope of undoing whatever damage that house-elf may have done with his escape, this evidence will have to be dealt with."
Harry nodded. He could see the sense in that. "All right," he said, his voice still thick. As his father released him and rose to his feet, Harry looked over at his brother. "Um, Draco? I . . . I don't think you've ever seen the thestrals, but after this . . . I mean, the first time I saw someone dead it was really a big shock."
"Now that I'm sure he's dead, I don't need to see," said Draco flatly. "I'll just go to the hospital wing and wait for you there, Harry. Don't be long."
Draco glanced at Severus as though asking for permission, and then cast some spells, obviously re-establishing the wards. Harry figured they must not prevent anyone from Apparating out, only in.
"I can't make it all the way to England on my own," the boy suddenly admitted in a low voice as he glanced uncertainly at Remus.. "I . . . if Severus is staying here then I'll need you to . . . er, help me, Professor Lupin."
"Don't sound so appalled by the prospect," advised Snape in a dry voice. "Lupin is the reason we found you at all. We'd still be breaking the wards at Malfoy Manor if not for his timely report that the wards here had been significantly strengthened."
"Timely!" Draco rolled his eyes. "We've been missing for hours!"
"Ah, but in the hope of Voldemort not learning that Lucius had snatched you, we kept all word of that from leaving Hogwarts," said Dumbledore. "Professor Lupin's report was a routine matter, as far as he was concerned. He waited the standard amount of time for a reply, but when he received no acknowledgement of his information, he Apparated to Hogwarts to report in person. That was when he learned that you were missing and that Severus and I were at Malfoy Manor, unable to receive messages there due to the protection spells layered about the surrounding countryside."
"You'd have to be named Malfoy," said Draco with a slight glance at Harry.
Yeah, I get it, Harry almost said, but decided he didn't want to interrupt the story.
"Professor Lupin Apparated to join us," explained Severus. "And so we discovered that you had likely been taken to France."
"I guess I should thank you, then, Professor Lupin," said Draco slowly. "Though I know you wouldn't have bothered if not for Harry--"
"You're quite wrong," said Remus, shaking his head. "You're a student at Hogwarts, not to mention an Order member's son. Do you think I could ignore all that simply because you don't like werewolves?"
"I . . . er . . . Let's just go," Draco said stiffly, holding out his arm. He shuddered when Remus touched it.
"See you later," said Harry, trying to smile. It was hard, though. He didn't have much sympathy for Draco's blatant prejudices. Not to mention, he had unfreezing Lucius to look forward to.
"We will be along shortly, Draco," said Snape, walking over to him and laying his hand gently on his son's shoulder. "Lupin will see you to Hogwarts and stay with you until we arrive." The Potions Master stared rather grimly at the werewolf as he said this. Harry knew what he was thinking about: Harry's abduction the previous autumn. After that, it must be pretty hard for his father to trust Remus with one of his sons.
But maybe Severus had finally forgiven Remus.
Either that, or he just didn't have much choice but to trust him at the moment.
As Draco sighed impatiently, Remus held his former schoolmate's gaze with a look of determination before Apparating himself and Draco out.
Harry closed his eyes, wishing he was being taken home as well, but there was no hope for that. He had to face what he'd done. "All right, so I'll try to undo it--ha, not even sure I can--and then you two can do . . . ugh, whatever. Just give me a moment. I'm still pretty tired."
"Of course, my boy," the headmaster said. "But time is of the essence. Is there anything we can do to help you? A glass of water? Pepper-Up?"
Harry shrugged without bothering to open his eyes. "Nah." He concentrated on his powers, visualizing the magical core within him and willing it to gather strength. At the same time he braced himself to face the reality of what he'd done. He'd killed someone. Regardless of whether or not the condition was reversible, he had ended Lucius Malfoy's life.
He had felt responsible for deaths before--technically, he had killed Professor Quirrell, although that had been a completely passive act and Harry had never really felt guilty for it. Then there was Cedric. And worst of all, Sirius, for whom he did feel tremendous guilt. Still, even if Harry's stupidity had led to Sirius' death, he hadn't been the one to cast the spell.
This death was something altogether new for Harry. He had cast the spell and he had to admit that while he hadn't thought for a moment that he was casting something fatal, he had been aware that his wanded magic was potentially lethal. But in those fleeting moments when he'd let the magic flow through his wand, Harry hadn't cared. He'd been blind and hurting and afraid and angry and he'd just wanted the danger to stop -- he'd wanted Lucius to stop. And he had stopped -- permanently.